Hm… one of the reasons i suck.
True…
Yes, that’s how it feels for me too.
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Well…now i know that those cold fingers of myne are actually a bad sign 
~thanks
Stay strong, but do maintain balance.
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Sure…as being divine in core: we can only grow, by expanding in all directions.
~thanks
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To change behavior is to change the physical configuration of your brain. You are paving new pathways for neurons to travel on. The more you resist the easier it will be. So to help you… Every time you get an urge, meditate for 3 minutes. To stop overeating… every time you feel like being a glutton just eat something healthy, like grapes. Replace the bad behaviors with good
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Or if you ate nutritionally dense foods, maybe you would have less hunger.
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Well i do -if i’m not eating rice, wheat or unsprouted lentils and peas.
Don’t confuse oil or animal fats with being “nutritionally dense”.
This is now one of the last posts, that i write from “home’s” LAN.
~Everything after will be done in libaries or public places or hacked neightboors.
Ok… i fucked up at night, due to my sudden need for a werewolf subliminal…and i ended up with much more…
And -again, i couldn’t sleep more than a hour.
Something, keeps me wake in night -too tried to do anything productive, and too awake to sleep.
Also… weird black stuff left my body. idk what coudl have caused that.
But now i’m typing like crazy, because the libary closes in a few minutes 
~the book about werewolfes was quite interesting
Lynn Raven - Werewolf
It reminded me to a woman i used to know, and how simple and animalistic my once only spiritual desire had grown.
Also, how i currently struggle… I asked myself: “Do i become a god, or a animal?” “Do i progress or degernate?” But, i know, that i have a few pretty simple wishes, and those fit in that category.
I feel silly, for having the need to proof to myself, that i’m more than a animal.
Well, let see how that goes.
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Derek Landy has some godly humor <3
~I do recomend his books
What subliminals are your using and for what?
To be honest: i drop subliminals, even my own after some time.
Because it takes too long for them to change something.
And i currently lack the diciplin to listen to them everyday do hours.
-Which is hardly possible anyway, because too many wannabes use
terrible music to hide their affirmations.
But to be fair: i can’t listen to my subliminals that long either.
Whats more effective, but less for a distinct purpose are: frequencies
~Check out “magnetic minds” at youtube.
What currently works and what doesn’t work:
Books instead of series or videos do work
but audiobooks tend to lead me to distraction from time to time
-due to the fact that i listen to those uploaded on youtube.
Idk how much magical surveillance is in use,
but i guess people could have noticed that i didn’t stopped doing things.
But at least does my body not feel as overheated as before.
But… i really, really, really should get rid of old and new porn and LAN.
Which is another thing: i’m back online, which is a bad thing.
-i waste too much time here and on youtube.
-i waste too much on… websites
-i waste too much time with searching for things, which i don’t really care about
I try to see my situation a bit more positive, but the random depression comes back as it likes.
P.S.: Derek Landy was some great humor!
~I saw my depression radicly die off, as i read and imagined Tanith Low explaining her plan -if she wasn’t digressed to her relations to the (now) enemies prior to the current operation.
And i loved how everyone made those amazing comments, so evil, so funny
-sure, i know that this is just a bit more healthier way to mentally masturbate. Because i can’t read it wihout imagining certain things. And it takes action to continue the story, and it takes long and has much, much more depth than any movie will ever have. Movies and series? No, not anymore. I don’t wanna sit there and become passive, if i also could read the book.
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Put them while you sleep. Your brain retains info while you sleep and it gives you those hours of exposure
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My laptop has a intel managment engine inside (at least the one i’m using now, because of its 64bit architecture and its speakers (beatsaudio). Except this one, every laptop i own has none.
If i shut it off, not even a power spillter is on when i sleep.
All the energetic distraction there is are: my father WLAN, his --3 to 6 phones or so, if i count that tablet mutant +my brothers “”"“phone”"" + the over two dozen wifi networks her ( i hacked only two) + all electric devices that arent shut off… the list is long.
The point is: i feel more calm when its shut off, but sometimes i lack the tryptophan to get sleep. And i lack melatonin, since we all use lights in the dark.
And if you heared my subliminals, or the magically induced ones by “abysssarian”, you would know that i could hardly sleep with those on.
Just one example why you can not use every subliminal at sleep time:
~For real: this stuff could make certain children cry! 
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Ironic…now i feel compfortable with it.
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