I noticed that most people ask for assistance in bringing a lover back. I don’t want any of my lovers back lol. I have challenges with being able to have a long term relationship. I notice that all my relationships fizzle out after 2 months. A while ago, I had a reading done and the person doing the reading also mentioned this issue. He was like, “your relationships start off hot and heavy and they always fizzle out.” What recommendations do you guys have for this challenge that i continue to have?
In my opinion, you should work with a goddess of Love, like Aphrodite, or the spirit Tul from Kingdoms of Flame.
It seems to me that you have may have some internal issues that could be leading you to seek out the excitement and arousal of the “chase,” but to lose interest when the actual work of a relationship begins. In other words, you are addicted to the honeymoon period.
You might like to look into shadow work. I’m this way inclined, and in working with Buer (who can help uncover the reasons behind intense emotions and desires) I discovered I was something called ‘Counter Dependent’. It’s usually a cptsd thing learned via childhood trauma, as it is in my case.
It’s basically a fear of being loved that creates a pull-push effect in intimate relationships - you do get heavily into it very fast, and then lose interest and push them away, then you want them back again because you feel safer, and so it goes.
My way of getting around it is to not do deep relationships at all. At first I was happy with no relationships - I energetically blocked myself and didn’t want any for ages. Recently that block got ruined and I’m back to my fave way of running my sex life, which is to keep a small circle of FWBs, everything stays light hearted and friendly, and it doesn’t trigger my cptsd.
Could I work on this? Belial wants me to, and I know he could help with that, he was the catalyst that caused the eventual break of my block, after all. But I made that block myself for good reason and I don’t want to face that fear, frankly. I like me the way I am.
So my advice is this: get to the bottom of why you’re like this, with a good therapist if needed, and then make your decision:
Can you make this work for you, or do you want to change it? - if so, be clear exactly why, and conformity shouldn’t be a reason.
I.e., don’t just think you want to change it because it’s not what society tells you is ‘normal’. I get a lot of projection from people who can’t understand why I like to relate the way I do, but in the end they’re not me and I have never been interested in amatonormativity where to them it’s the only way. You do you.
My challenges are a result of growing up in a home with an alcoholic father and codependent mother. It is also a result of getting screwed over by people I have trusted. I receive therapy services and continue to work on making changes. But, I feel the changes I have made are not enough. Ex. The last guy I dated l triggered me and I said. Fuck this, you annoy me. I’m not dealing with you. You are blocked. Next! lol
I want to be a better person and continue to work on my personal evolution. I don’t really care what society thinks of what is normal or not normal. I want to give myself the opportunity to experience a long term relationship and trust. I want to learn to trust humans. I only have 2 friends and everyone else is considered an acquaintance or business associate. But, even my “two close friends” are kept at a distance.
Lolol, yeah I get that. I got into just fuck it all and ‘I don’t need anybody’ mode. It’s very comfy really, being super-independent and not having to be vulnerable ever. I’ve grown a thicker skin and things that used to make me feel vulnerable no longer do, but still, I know my limits.
I want to be a better person and continue to work on my personal evolution.
See, that’s an interesting question. The dark gods clearly disagree with how I handle my development in this area or they wouldn’t be all up in my business about it. Belial especially, has been my rock through the changes and still want to see me drop this, but I mean… why would doing so make me a ‘better person’ or constitute any kind of evolution? What’s wrong with the way I am? I feel fine, I’m not blocked, I’m not prevented from doing the Work I have on my plate right now… I’m just not seeing how aligning my energetic system with what others consider ‘normal’ human patterns in either desirable or necessary.
I also have considered, if I wanted a long term partner, poly or otherwise, that people to fit me that closely probably don’t exist. Compatible lovers are hard enough to find plain vanilla… I’m weird and freaky, and kinda old, so meh. I’m having my cake and eating it too right now anyway.
I don’t think it’s about aligning your energetic system to what others consider normal. It is about challenging yourself In different areas of your life. I do believe that my relationship issues hinder me from my personal success. I’m all ego. I have difficulty asking for help. I shut people out of my life as soon as I see a red flag. As for having a partner, I don’t know if I’m meant to have a long term relationship. But, I do know that dating multiple people is an issue for me. I have become sensitive to people’s energy. Some people have spiritual parasites and STDs. That’s spiritual shit and we have not even gotten to their other “worldly” challenges. When I tell you that I’m sensitive I’m not playing. Not too long ago, I had to take a client to the local court to get a birth certificate. As I was waiting in line with the client, I started feeling strong vibrations. I had to leave the area because the energy of one of the two people standing in line was making me physically sick. There was something very wrong with one of the men who standing in line with us. He was ill and I was very sensitive to his energy. I had to walk out of the building because I felt physically ill. I have become more in tune with people’s energy in the last year. I don’t know how to control this at this moment. I don’t even know what triggers it to happen. But, it affects me physically and that’s one of the main reasons I’m focused on working on myself.
Check out your astrology chart. I do that and it’s pretty accurate assessment of why we got shit in our lives. I do the chinese version which is way easier to learn than other versions. I just need your birthdate and hour of birth to see what’s up. Usually people who have challenging relationships issues, it shows up on their birth chart. It showed up on mine.
Well in my case its the other way around in every relationship the girl loses interest in me after two months
The first two months was hardcore serious then within time it began to fade out, maybe its because i have trust issues
Ffs i have no idea
Hmmm I would recommend you wear atrayente oil (attraction). Dab it around the back of your ears and back of your neck when you start to feel like her interest is fading off. You should also consider using ven ami soap (come to me). When you are showering … visualize yourself with her. Use it until you finish it. Use it everyday.
You can find these online or Botanica. I’m big on using oils and soaps. But use an abre Camino (road opener) soap too before you start using attraction and ven ami. Use the road opener soap until you finish it. Everyday! Lather the soap from head to toe. Visualize negative emotions, feelings, experiences washing away. Visualize your new beginning. Then… begin using attraction and come to me.
It’s not trust issues. It’s part of the dna. That’s the beginning phase of getting to know someone. couples months is when the hormones kick in. then it goes away. They weren’t interested in you. It was just someone new to explore. most people are like that. they want variety. they can’t commit to one person.
lol
