I think a good first approach would be divination based on whether or not attacking now would be a wise decision. For that, i ching is a great option as well as this system:
Question 9 should suffice.
Warning: slight derailment but might be part of the reason why you are getting the answers you are with tarot.
I usually view cursing similiar to waging war. While straight brutal force of a straight forward attack can knock back an enemy in certain situations, sometimes you need a less direct approach. There is a great example with Sun Tzu (the general who quite literally wrote the book in the art of war fare) with a smaller one by forcing that large army to move back and forth through more guerilla style battles. He also used other elements to distract his enemy such as spies. Overtime, this brought down the larger army to exhaustion to the point they could not defend themselves.
In terms of magic, it can be wise to build a curse with smaller working designed to weaken the target, such as vamping, confusion rituals, and bindings geared towards attacking resources. The build up of stress will crack the person’s defense over time. That is why i am fond of the Master Curse, as it has an effective layering system who’s results have impressed me greatly.
That being said, I have also learned that cursing someone you live with (if that is the case) is not a good idea. It is similiar to standing next to someone who you know is about to be hit with a mortar. Since you mentioned abuse, this would be something to deeply consider. Those who have extreme anger issues can get quite nasty when they feel like their back is against the wall. Binding, banishment (both if and if they do not live with you), and other means to get some distance, especially mundane options such as law enforcement, before striking would be a good idea for your own safety.
War is not always won by the strongest, but those who have the patience to look for opportunities (or create them) and exploit it to their benefit.