This is going to be a long post so here we go. Recently my life has been falling apart. Usually my life pretty much sucks already but ever since Tuesday, it’s gotten so fucking bad. All im feeling right now is a ton of Pain and Rage. Been getting into fights with my mom, almost gotten into fights with her boyfriend, over petty things that they shouldn’t have a problem with.
My sexuality and i guess overall lifestyle is what pisses them off. My mom is angry about it because of her religion, her douchebag boyfriend hates it because he’s just a fucking jerk.
Iv always wished for my mom to die, I absolutely hate the hell out of her.
I’m also really insecure and just hate my body. Can’t begin to tell you how many times iv tried to change the way I look and nothing works.
Then there’s the fear of my future. I’m young. And in just a few years I’ll be 18 and out on my own. But due to alot of social anxiety it’ll be difficult for me to communicate to people and get a job/apartment or whatever. So it has me seriously fucking worried that im just gonna end up on the street.
And finally there’s my whole wanting to find my “true love” issue. Iv been lonely for so long and I’m just tired of it. I want to get with someone who I’ll end up settling down with once we are both older.
I’m just tired of all this pain and hatred. A part of me wants to end it but I know that could just make shit worse on me if a suicide attempt fails.
I’m sorry if I’m venting or annoying any of you. I just have no one else to turn to. So I’m asking if any of you know any demons/spirits/entities, whatever that could help aid me in unfucking my life and just simply helping me with the issues above. I’m mainly just looking to work with one not multiple entities so if any of you have any suggestions do share. I’m pretty desperate right now. I thought of going to Lucifer since iv seen people say he can pretty much do anything but I don’t know.
Again thanks, and like I said above, sorry if I’m being annoying.
Try connecting with Lucifer. A few here have worked with him in rearranging/fixing their lives. He tends to be less…rough, than Belial or Azazel in re-ordering things.
Alright I guess I can try Lucifer then. What do I do? Do I just ask him for help and start offering stuff to him? Or is there something else I’m supposed to do to gain his favor? Iv never worked with him before
Easy, little one. Don’t take my words the wrong way. I’m a mothering spirit, and I work with kids. As a follower of Hecate, the outcast, women and children are to be protected. Now, breathe. Calm down, research and meditate.
Light a white candle. Stare in the flame until your breathing relaxes, and then focus on the flame until you have your energies centered. Lose your anger and rage to the flame.
Please try to do this every day for at least a few minutes a day, and then build up time. Start keeping a journal. And before you sleep, make sure you have your journal at your bedside. Take notes on everything that you dream.
Things could be better, been sick the last few days but i think im getting over it. Tommorow I’m gonna try that meditation you gave me. Or atleast take the time to write in a journal.
I’ll keep ya updated if anything significant changes
