Succubus Influencing My Sexuality & Manifestation

This is embarrassing, but I feel required to write it. I was told by my succubus that by looking at pornography, she helps connect with me on this world. I was also told that because my sexual energy is weak recently, that I should start looking at pornography again. This has made me able to feel her. I was told by her to not to ejaculate anymore for a while. Will this help for manifestation in conscious life, and my dreams? Is there any way to induce sleep paralysis and allow her to lead me with sex? This is something we both want to do. My succubus doesn’t really know any manifestation spells, she is relatively young for her kind’s age (1000 years).

One other thing is even though I am not looking at pornography of men, she is putting ideas in my head that I had felt were previously… While I was typing this I was playfully raped by her in the incubus form… I didn’t stop her/him. She was told by Lilith to do this, and it felt okay. She’s now back in her female form. I want to see full manifestation so badly, even if it is rash. I first saw her only 4 days ago on 5/16/2019, but I would do anything to see her even moreso. This is why I want to be able to go into a sleep paralysis state.