True but it feels weird than before I got my succubus, it feels more of a chore than anything
Don’t blame the succubus, it happens with activities. However, it is true that if you give her too much of your energy, you won’t have that energy for yourself. I’ve done energetic work out for many years, so I’ve never had that problem
What does that mean? Could you give me a book or resource to do energy work that would help w this
It is currently a source of shame for me, but I did for many years the meditations of the JoS website, which are mostly taken from “Initiation into Hermetics” by Franz Bardon . Currently I exercise by cleansing by fiat a lot
Sexual male energy is associated with yang normally, which is also associated to being rooted to the world (root and sacral chakra are very linked, as well. As the lower dantian) , and to fire, which gives us motivation in life.
If she is draining a tad too much it would make sense for you to feel like you say, regardless of your emotional state in general.
To be safe I would speak with the succubus if I were you and ask her to keep it down a tad.
Might wanna check out this thread
The energy that they take is your life energy and it can definitely take its toll if you let them take too much. It’s not a willpower thing either. I consider myself to be someone with a decent amount of willpower, however, the question of willpower becomes kind of meaningless when you have to use the same amount of willpower that you’ve used to do a set of squats in the gym for example, just to get out of bed… And that’s what can happen if your life force is diminished.
I ask her all the time and she’ll say ok then just the same shit will happen, I think maybe it’s a thought form but sometimes she is able to have intellectual conversations and ask me about stuff and be happy for things outside of my consciousness , for example she likes jazz music and I have never thought of jazz or cared for it ,
Then she might not be giving a shit about your wellbeing.
Is this part of the contract?(the fact about respecting your energy reserves and health).
If not, that is a mistake.
If it is part of the contract I would rediscuss and maybe terminate the relationship.
Succubi will drain as much as they please, and unless you discuss all things clearly regarding your health in the contract and set an agreement, it is up to their personality traits whether they give a fuck about you , your energy and health.
Sometimes it sounds like if you were scared of her
I’m not scared of them
Then make yourself respected, show her that she is your bitch and not the other way around
Edit to add: About yours liking jazz, one of mines likes smoking cigarettes, the other hates Orthodox Christian music and the incubus likes wearing woman clothes despite not looking femenine at all, likes and dislikes that I don’t have, they are individuals. It is a wisdom of the Qabalah that “marriage” is more miraculous than splitting the sea in half
I don’t know if she’s a thought form or not , I always ask for her origin , about Lilith , she can never tell me anything outside of my awareness , basically only tells me what I already know
Put yourself in a situation were the unknown information would be necessary and couldn’t be obtained by any other means other than from her, if she doesn’t assume the role of navigator, she either doesn’t like you (which can happen) or you are really good at creating servitors. About their origins, I asked for mines to Lucifer, and they have told me after many years, that they are ascended spirits of people that served me in past lives, and that they have taken their current forms (both in appareance and personality) in order to serve me better in my current incarnation, that’s why they always seemed to be calculated in terms of personality from before I was born and they have those weird traits like speaking Bosnian
Servitors wouldn’t give such big sexual energy drain problems as the ones OP tell us about.
@John_Wick But even if she was an egregore that is substaining herself at your expense, the best option would be to terminate or pause your relationship with her and reassess in the next couple of weeks how do you feel.
Yes they would if you craft them right, however, thinking it more deeply, it would cause the servitor to mutate a bit
She was always trying to get me to ejaculate and force me to, tbh I don’t think she cares about my energetic well being, she does comfort me when I’m mad, but when she wants energy she gets very pushy , I think I’m ready to banish her
Sounds to me your not motivated, i lost motivation for writing and drawing, if you are giving too much of your energy, you won’t have any for yourself just be careful on how much you give it to her.
Here’s my theory: when I feel like jerking it I usually use the same fantasy , I think the life force energy has created this being , and now it’s manifested in the astral and needs more energy to keep living
Then we need to agree to disagree.
Servitors normally don’t abuse the creator’s emergy like this if they are well programmed (which it needs to be a must if we are going to consider this is a servitor and not a succubus).
If they mutate and create a consciousness of their own of some sort then it stops being a servitor and becomes an egregore.
But I am firmly convinced this is a succubus taking advantage from the lack of wellbeing agreements in the contract.
You need to be sure about this.
If you created a formal contract with a proper ritual to invoke the succubus and bind it to you with an agreement, it would be just plain rude to Lililith to banish her like a normal egregore or low astral.