Struggling don’t know what to do

[Svartulf]

@Jay133

I feel a negative vibe all the time and I was never like this I feel depressed and anxiety all the time when I meditate I feel ease or peace but then 5mins later I am back to that mood I was always goofy happy positive this just doesn’t feel like me

Maybe you need to cleanse yourself and surroundings?

Give this a try I Am's Solar Grounding & Banishing Ritual

Another way is to cleanse yourself through showers and baths. If I’m feeling negative or just down, I’ll take a hot shower and cleanse my mind, body, and soul. Inhale and exhale deeply, and imagine all the negativity, anxiety, and depression that your feeling as a black goo covering you. Imagine the water as light. As it moves and flows across your body, see it washing away all the pain, sadness, and negative emotions that your feeling, imagine it going down the drain, leaving you for good. You can do the same with using soap as the “lifter” that breaks through this “black goo”. Finish by visualizing yourself clean and shining with a white light that emanates in and from you. I usually think to myself, “Nothing can hold me or influence me unless I allow it” or something that has special meaning to me. I’d advise you to find a mantra that resonates with you specifically.

Another thing I would 100% recommend you to do is integrate this specific meditation into your daily routine from @C.Kendall’s Soul Travel guide

@C.Kendall

Sit down, back straight and relax visualize in the air particles of bright light, this is omnipotence as omnipotence exists everywhere, within and without think about these particles they make up all physical and spiritual existence.

Now see them like millions of miniature suns holding the power of creation, destruction and omnipotence, feel the air become thick with power now inhale and visualize and feel these particles of light enter you filling you with pure omnipotence and as you exhale push out all stress, dirty energy, anxiety, worries etc, see it as brownish gunk energy.

The power of the particles in the air destroys the energy you disposed off, next inhale again hold the light in your chest for six seconds see and feel it spinning in your chest then as you exhale feel it clean you, heal you and empower you, then inhale solidify that power and exhale the harmful energies out and keep repeating this.

When you feel cleansed, healed and filled with omnipotence see the light so bright within you, its bursting through the pores of your skin. Now ground that power within you and say “I am eternal”.

Now if you want to work with some of the Gods and so on to empower you and help you, I’d recommend Lucifer before anyone else personally. Definitely someone who always wants to help those who truly want to be helped, especially dealing with depression and negativity in their life.