Staring into Lilith's Sigil + backstory

Hey,

Been a while since I posted in balg, but I just had an experience while staring to the seal of lilith sigil.

My experience of staring into the sigil:
As I stared into it I see a vision of an arid semi molten landscape similar to lava quickly cooling, so not really molten I guess. There was a woman in a red flowing robe and turning toward me, with her hand stretched out.

I was praying to Goddess Lilith and talking to her, about the past back in 2019. As I was really immature back then in my approach to Lilith and my reasons for previous interactions with her and her daughters (succubai). I was explaining that I hated my previous mentality and approach back then, I was young and still neck deep in religon. And back then I only was drawn in for the intimate reasons. I had such a limited view back then, I guess I was asking Lilith for a second chance.

And wish I could start with a clean slate, as I want to begin again with the right perspective, having learnt hard lessons.

Anyways back to the vision, so this woman in red said " who is punshing you? But yourself".

Then behind her I saw a black iris opening behind them, like a woman or pupil of a cat eye. Id say more like a cats pupil.

I hear the words “Sitra Ahra”?

About my past interactions and mistakes made:

But that is pritty much it, I continued to pray to Lilith and saying how sorry I am for my past actions, so in the past (2019) I was torn between religion and had alot of suppressed sexuality. I did the letter of intent, and summon one of her daughters and I was with for like a week and they got me into witchcraft etc but then my relgious programing kicked in was like ohh god wont like this. And I banished the succubus, but after realizing my actions I told Lilith to see if I could fix things and I think the being came back.

But then in that year of 2019, I was punished and bad things happened. ( I 100% deserved all of it)

My punishment was carried out, and my lessons were learned. I accept the punishment back then.

Years after I despise my actions, and my mentality back then. I carry alot of shame and guilt, yet even after all these years I still am drawn to Goddess Lilith. I have her succubai with me now (through a conjourer), and I consider them family now. So things are different in that sense.

I have her seal in my room, and see her as distant deity I respect and admire from afar, as I feel unworthy to actually go to her.

I feel Goddess Lilith, will never forgive me. Even if I changed alot and matured, and my reasons for being drawn to her are very different from before. I have alot of respect now and would never conduct myself in the way I was before and I am not in any religion anymore.

But based on the vision I just had, was that my sign? What are your thoughts, especially of those that work with Lilith.

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I would take her saying that you’re the only one punishing yourself as her saying that she has forgiven you. You don’t have to keep internally punishing yourself for your past mistakes when you’ve matured and changed. When I looked up the symbolism of Irises one thing they can mean is a new beginning.

I had a similar experience when working with Azazel and he forgave me. I still have him in my practice till this day as one of the main demons I work with.

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Thanks for your insight , yeah it was like a cat pupil. Like she wanted me to take her hand into that.

That is a cool coincedence, I was looking up at Azazel recently. His name just popped up 2 days ago randomly. Its good that they he forgave you and your able to continue working with them.

May I ask what kind of work people go to Azazel for?

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I’ve seen people work with him on a big variety of different things from wealth, personal growth, magick (especially the dark arts), protection, self-worth, and spiritual alchemy. I find he also seems to enjoy philosophical conversations. He’s really to great to work with even as a beginner as long as you’re willing to put in the work.

Some of My Favorite Resources on Him:

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Thankyou for the info, I just read the first link. He seems like a really amazing being to work with.

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