Hey,
Been a while since I posted in balg, but I just had an experience while staring to the seal of lilith sigil.
My experience of staring into the sigil:
As I stared into it I see a vision of an arid semi molten landscape similar to lava quickly cooling, so not really molten I guess. There was a woman in a red flowing robe and turning toward me, with her hand stretched out.
I was praying to Goddess Lilith and talking to her, about the past back in 2019. As I was really immature back then in my approach to Lilith and my reasons for previous interactions with her and her daughters (succubai). I was explaining that I hated my previous mentality and approach back then, I was young and still neck deep in religon. And back then I only was drawn in for the intimate reasons. I had such a limited view back then, I guess I was asking Lilith for a second chance.
And wish I could start with a clean slate, as I want to begin again with the right perspective, having learnt hard lessons.
Anyways back to the vision, so this woman in red said " who is punshing you? But yourself".
Then behind her I saw a black iris opening behind them, like a woman or pupil of a cat eye. Id say more like a cats pupil.
I hear the words “Sitra Ahra”?
…
About my past interactions and mistakes made:
But that is pritty much it, I continued to pray to Lilith and saying how sorry I am for my past actions, so in the past (2019) I was torn between religion and had alot of suppressed sexuality. I did the letter of intent, and summon one of her daughters and I was with for like a week and they got me into witchcraft etc but then my relgious programing kicked in was like ohh god wont like this. And I banished the succubus, but after realizing my actions I told Lilith to see if I could fix things and I think the being came back.
But then in that year of 2019, I was punished and bad things happened. ( I 100% deserved all of it)
My punishment was carried out, and my lessons were learned. I accept the punishment back then.
Years after I despise my actions, and my mentality back then. I carry alot of shame and guilt, yet even after all these years I still am drawn to Goddess Lilith. I have her succubai with me now (through a conjourer), and I consider them family now. So things are different in that sense.
I have her seal in my room, and see her as distant deity I respect and admire from afar, as I feel unworthy to actually go to her.
I feel Goddess Lilith, will never forgive me. Even if I changed alot and matured, and my reasons for being drawn to her are very different from before. I have alot of respect now and would never conduct myself in the way I was before and I am not in any religion anymore.
But based on the vision I just had, was that my sign? What are your thoughts, especially of those that work with Lilith.
