I didn’t really want to make this post quite yet because I’m so new, and I really don’t want anyone to think that I’m only here to ask, however, I am having a hard time not thinking about it tonight. I’m painfully shy. I never used to be, but years of bullying when I was in school and emotional abuse at home has left me a very sensitive and meek person.
If you’ve ever watched the Dexter series, I’m a bit like Rita; sort of a doormat and even when I do stand up for myself, I usually find that I get shut down because I can’t hold my own all that well. It’s like I get too worked up and emotional to come up with logical points to defend myself.
I’ve found that it’s gotten a bit worse as I’ve gotten older, and I often find myself just wanting to run when I have to interact with people, especially those my own age, and I know it’s because I can sense that I’m coming off as twitchy, awkward, uncomfortable…and it’s because I’m so tense and self-conscious. It’s like there’s this wall built up to where I can no longer express myself freely or openly in a social setting.
Is there any spirit out there that’s good for helping with this kind of problem? Someone who can not only help me to feel more confident but maybe improve my social skills a bit in order to help that confidence build?
Balaam can help with this. I meditated on his sigil before a job interview and carried his dedicated medallion inside my jacket. He strangely increases focus and grounding when in conversation, which forms the ability to just have the correct things to say, out of nowhere. The aura also makes people more accepting of your gestures of any kind: Jokes, greets, invested interest, compliments, etc.
You might want to work with a book such as ‘72 Sigils of Power’ by Zanna Blaise, and use it to really realize the roots of these issues and understand them, and accept them to heal. And then use other magick to change further if necessary. I recommend that because simply asking a spirit to remove fear and such can only have a temporary effect, but when you analyze it deeply and work on it on such a level you can move on from it permanently.
Otherwise, you could also call on Phul, the Olympic Spirit of the Moon, to remove fear. Perhaps he can help you move on in a deep way as well.
@Dankquanicus I don’t necessarily want it removed…I understand that it doesn’t really work like that. I’ve gone through a period for awhile now where I’ve been getting down to those roots through self-reflection, using a journal, things like that. It just seems like I’ve hit a wall in moving past them and letting go, and that’s where I feel like I need that extra help in doing the work.
Could still be worth it to use that book then. I just opened it now to read through the rest of the Sigils because I felt like the next one I’d see may relate to you, and first one I read was Sigil 13, Yezel. It says it can be used to gain the strength to overcome the past. Perhaps that relates to you.