Spirits for an image of power, self esteem and confidence?

My self esteem used to be terrible years ago. I found myself non attractive and awkward, and even if the 3D didn’t reflect that back at me (I was never bullied and had friends) I convinced myself that was the truth and did little to change it.

Years later, on my mid twenties, my 3D started to reflect the exact opposite of what my self concept was, with many people of the opposite sex interested in me, lots of friends that I didn’t try to make, and so my self image improved a bit.

Now, some years later, my self image is quite healthy. I’ll probably never be the kind of girl that runs to photo shoots, in fact I reject anything to do with it, but at least now I accept that guys are interested in me and I accept the good things about me. Sounds ridiculous but I didn’t in the past; my impostor syndrome was huge, when getting high marks or a promotion I would be sure I didn’t deserve it and my teachers/superiors saw something in me that didn’t exist; and I lost the opportunity of being with my biggest crush because I didn’t realize that he liked me, even if he made it quite clear for months. Now I’m a realistic person, I see the good in me but I don’t overdo it.

Point is, I guess there’s something of the old me in the way I behave with others. I’ve been told many times that I’m very humble and approachable, which I think should be the norm but apparently isn’t. I have a very high position work-wise and my appearance intimidate people, but after 5 min talking with me everybody relaxes and mentions how comfortable they feel. I honestly don’t know why anybody would expect for me to be a bitch :woman_shrugging:t3: I am a kind person, that’s something that even in my darkest times I have known.

Problem is that seems to bring me some negatives. When I date a guy they generally behave like if they won the lottery during first months; later they take me for granted to an extent that’s alarming. They all seem to develop a kind of addiction for me, tho, they don’t want to let me go and do anything to keep me around; but they don’t compromise or simply don’t treat my with enough respect and love. Have nothing to do with trying to get sex from me or the like, if anybody wonders; they just seem to like to be around me and somehow I end up depleted of energy. I thought for some time that I was being too demanding, but from the feedback I got from people in my life that should be objective: No I am not, I actually put up with too much bullshit from them. The patience that I have had with partners have been infinite, being next to them during the worst times, but that doesn’t seem to change a thing.

I am in a similar situation right now, with someone that is doing crazy stuff to make sure I don’t leave his life, even if we’re exes and he should be happy if I do. But his attitude is what I always experience: Someone that feels holds the power, as if I was crying in the corners for him (I don’t). I don’t know what the hell I do to make them feel this way. This isn’t about this guy, is more about me seeing a pattern and wanting to break it.

I have improved my self image and see myself as I am in terms of beauty and intelligence, no more but no less either. Is there anyone you think I could work with to recover my power? To break whatever it is that I exude that apparently make guys think they got me and they have the power? Thanks for any tips, this is very important for me


If its with coworkers I would suggest Archangel Michael or any spirit associated with the sun.
With romantic relationship I suggest Lady Lilith.


How are your boundaries? And are you separated right now?

Do cord cuttings and clearings, Michael can help.


My boundaries in general? Pretty poor. I generally do too much for others and is hard for me to say no. I’m not a doormat tho. You can probably abuse me if you play the “poor me” card and you’re in need or pretend to be, or in any way you suggest that I’m the only one that can help you; but if you’re rude or mean, I’ll send you to hell. So I’ll say there’s hope for me.

Cord cutting is something I’ve had in mind for some time, I’ll research a good way to do it. I have to continue seeing this guy often tho, removing him from my life is not possible, so I need to get back my power with him still around.


With the sun… does Belial count? I worked with him before on this area and the results were astounding, I fucked it up tho.

Lady Lilith… I never worked with her but sounds exactly like what I would need. Will she kick my ass for having been too soft?


One of the best Baal but Qayin might interest you too. Lilith is for women very important for empowerment and for experienced witches Arachne too



Nope! She’s a patron to women. She can help you dominate the men in your life.


You gotta assert boundaries before someone is being rude too. I understand being soft does not equal being stepped over, but that doesn’t mean you won’t have them. Boundaries are crucial, very important.


Freya, Aphrodite and the Butterfly totem can help you with this

It’s hard getting out of this mindset but possible

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Never worked with any of them but will look them up in here, thank you very much!

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Freya is excellent for feminine empowerment. Also Angrboda, Persephone, Hel, Ishtar, Sekhmet, Aset and many others can help with what you’re seeking. What’s your preferred current??

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I was just checking Aphrodite in the forum.

So I’ve worked mainly with Goetics and Angels of Omnipotence; work a lot with my own energy too. I have not been practicing for long but so far things have worked out pretty well. I have no preferences, I would gladly try some other current and see if I vibe with it. I follow my gut a lot.

I don’t know if ethnicity influence affinity for Gods etc, but if it does then I would belong to Astarte. Would she work for that? Do you have any experience with her?

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Could a blind loner have power, self esteem & confidence? Sometime when you’re blind physically you actually see better. A god can take something that’s weak in some eyes & use it in a powerful way.


Ethnicity can be a factor but it’s usually not. Also yes Astarte can help with that and she was one of the first Goddesses I worked with when I started. She’s excellent for beauty and I gained this naturally when working with her. She also gives advise like a general.

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A feminine figure in my life sounds about right. And hey, if beauty comes along then awesome too hahah. I’m more focused now on feminine power, without having to get to the extreme that I do sometimes of being vengeful and choleric; more stability and knowing of my worth.

So far I have worked with spirits for specific tasks, things I wanted to happen, but not for myself. The more I do magick, the more I know it can help me being better, and that’s my priority now. I don’t want to spend years doing magick to manipulate each of the shitty relationships that I may have, when probably the key is to improve my beliefs and behaviours.

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Those are traits of the shadow aspect most likely

All the best :grin:

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Belial and Ba’al forsure.

Archangel Michael and probably Metatron as well.

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