So, abit of a backstory - around 2014 in January I did this letter method to Lilith to basically invite an incubus (I was feeling very lonely and did it by impulsive) and ofc I knew nothing of non-human spirits or even spirit work back then and regret kind of not researching beforehand, buuuut anyway, they’ve since left but I don’t know why.
They never said anything to me or said goodbye or anything and at the time I was trying to get used to them being around - though I did on occasion offer incense to them and tried to communicate a little but never really received anything back, so and I think they left about 3-4 years ago now, BUT I didn’t know they had left - other spirits have been harassing me though, and I didn’t find out about that until last year, and since then because I only started around that time in witchcraft/magic etc, I didn’t have the knowledge or experience to kind of know what I was dealing with or how to get rid of them so been trying to figure that out, and get rid of them, and protect myself but honestly since I feel because I don’t know what they are and have only really started learning abit more this year its been a long process.
I have asked for help from a few entities but feel that they either can’t help me (as they are too busy - only Lilith has replied with that) or they want me to figure this out on my own but I do feel a bit ignored by them, and even more confused about everything, and feel like I can’t ask for help anymore so trying to find away to figure this out on my own (even tho I’m still not overly sure what I’m doing but am trying my best uwu), but basically for the past 3-4 years these spirits have pretended to be this incubus, and used him against me to attack me and do other things - in relation to /that/, and since I had no idea at the time, and believed it to be the incubus I grew basically quite ‘attached’ BUT it wasn’t him so I have all these weird feelings for this incubus who wasn’t even here anyway, but I was actually lead on to have these feelings, and have been trolled and manipulated by these things, I don’t know what kind of spirits they are (since I feel like any spirit could do that really) .
I only found out that the incubus had left about November last year FROM my sisters spirit guide - so feel kind of confused why noone had said anything or tried to warn me about it. And the way that I found out feels obv not great. And I don’t know why noone told me anything either? And because subconsciously I can’t let this connection with the incubus go, these spirits are using that against me to attack me in the physical, in the astral (they drag me out - like I’ve been dragged across the floor), and in dreams as well, and I think bc my subconscious won’t let this go and is in denial about the incubus leaving and everything bc I have these ‘feelings’ (even if they were based off a lie/manipulation) I don’t fight back against it or anything, so in the astral and in dreams I feel completely defenceless and also never know when the attacks are going to happen but I’ve done a few protective things to try to stop that but nothing has worked or helped, so I don’t know how to stop it.
But with incubi and everything, if anyone works with them or knows their nature better, if they had left and everything w/o a word would that mean that he wasn’t interested in me? I wrote on the letter to Lilith that I wanted a romantic relationship etc, but nothing ever obv happened with that, and I feel that he didn’t like me and wasn’t interested to begin with, like has anyone been through this? Or is it something they do?
And also does anyone know how to officially protect against this kind of thing? Atm I’m doing a few more protective things around my bed (as this is where the attacks occur bc they’re that in nature but I have been threatened and woken up to things attacking me, and I’m gonna be doing a few warding things and put a lot more things around bc a few things I’ve done haven’t worked exactly when I’ve tried, but trying to weaken the attacks and protect before I then do a banishing, cleansing, warding & shielding spell from the 11th of next month to the new moon (starting on a Saturday after the full moon and ending on the new moon so yh) my mental health has been pretty bad bc of it and has gotten worse so have been struggling a lot with that (I have bpd, anxiety & depression) and feel this has basically put a block on me to try and do things and I have less energy & motivation (bc depression) to keep going so I do tend to give up a lot of the time before I come out of it and this continues, tho I’m kind of forcing myself to just do things now, but if anyone has any advice on what this could be or how to protect from them and what I could possibly do as an extra thing to help get rid of them, and anything insight about the stuff with the incubus, I’d be really grateful, thank you <3