Hey all!
To begin, I have been practicing magick for about a year and a half. Since starting, I’ve developed quite the liking for a coworker of mine. We shared some subtle flirtation that has gone on since I started practicing, but I believe he has a mood disorder because his behavior generally and towards me fluctuates quite a bit. One day, he’ll be very smile and excited to speak with me, it seems like he goes out of his way to interact with me. Other days, he’ll be completely avoidant, refuse to make eye contact or say hi, essentially acting like I don’t exist.
Since meeting him, I got sick of the hot & cold behavior and did a simple honey sweetening jar on him. It took awhile, but it definitely worked well and he seemed smitten with me. For weeks, he had this look like he was on the brink of confessing something to me, but never did. It was around this time that he mentioned being married, for the first time in about 9 months. I was shocked and disappointed.
Fast forward a bit, I didn’t see him for almost 3 months due to the nature of our jobs. The first day I saw him again, he looked ecstatic to see me. I felt the same. Since then, things have kind of dropped off and he’s displayed mostly avoidant behavior towards me.
At this point, my feelings have developed too much to just say “he’s married, move on” and the fact that he omitted that detail for such a long time is telling.
Within the last 6 months, I’ve added dried rose petals with petitions (e.g “he desires/craves/adores me”) to the honey jar & have lit candles upon it for several Fridays. His behavior still goes back and forth, but he mostly seems to be avoidant in most ways.
On 11/15, I decided to utilize the red skull candle I have to do a sort of “think of me” spell. I planned to burn it nightly from that Friday to the following Friday, speaking thoughts I wanted him to have towards me. I was confident about it at the time & I proceeded, but on the 4th night, I stepped away for a second and the candle kind of broke. I tried to reconstruct it in a new holder, and continued the ritual, but it didn’t feel the same. Since then, my target seems to be just as avoidant and now almost seems annoyed with me at times. Since I’ve know him, with or without a spell, he has times where he refuses to look at/acknowledge me, or when I see him outside of work, some days he will rush away, while others looks delighted to see me. One day, we were talking very platonically and he mentioned his wife 4 times in a 5 minute conversation.
Sooo, I’m feeling very concerned lately about my workings. Unlike Reddit, I feel like people here have more advice and less judgement to provide, so I have a few questions.
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My skull candle ritual doesn’t feel right to me. I completed it, but now I’m wondering if there is a good way to dismantle it and basically erase it from existence, like I never did it? I feel like the spell is working, but providing the opposite effect and making the target have an aversion towards me, somehow.
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I need to know how to proceed with this. I’m aware that he’s married, but the fact that it took him such a long time to reveal is telling. I’ve since seen him interact with her and he looks absolutely miserable every time. My feelings for him have grown as we’ve gotten to know each other and have been nearly impossible to dismiss.
I’m just wondering mostly about the next steps I should take. I do wonder if it’s resistance to my more recent spell work (skull candle and adding to the honey jar) that’s causing him to act a little colder to me than ever before). If resistance is in play, what can I do to help the situation?
My main goal with him is to be together eventually, but I don’t want to go with obsession because I’ve learned that rarely ends well. I’m also worried about pushing him away further with a bunch of extra spell work, so I want to do things right this time.
What would work best for my situation, in your opinion?
