Shadow work journal: Burning my trauma away

Hello everyone . Mars here, so I figured it might be time to start a shadow work journal so I could document my progress. So here goes, I’ll link the first one of someone is wanting to read it.
So I work with Lucifer and have been struggling to come to terms with it (RTS, misconceptions involving him, my family shunning me for my practice. my doubts that he is very romantically interested in me and that he’s playing me blah blah). But here’s the conversation that led up to the shadow work which actually helped me. So here’s what our conversation that led up to it.
Lucifer: love I want you to try and build your astral temple. I wish to speak with you and show you your lives
Me: alright, tries to meditate and puts on literal incense and music to put me into the right frame of mind. But nothing is working.
Honestly I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin. And Lucifer was gradually getting more annoyed with me. I don’t remember what else he said but here’s what led up to it.
Me: I feel so damn restless. I can’t just sleep. My brain is going a thousand miles an hour.
Lucifer: sighs I want you to try something, I need you to find something to write with
Me: okay. scrambled to find a pen and notebook. alright what would you have me do?
Lucifer: now I want you to write any fears, anxieties, and doubts you have in here, rip the pages out, and burn it. Now. Go
I honestly felt my hand go on its own and I just started frantically writing, feeling my tears pour down my face. Talking about some rather personal things and how I had been feeling like I wasn’t my own person and that my entire view was different.
Me: there.
Lucifer: keep going. You’re not done
Me: freezes and feels myself start to sob
I felt honestly like I was bearing my all and felt like every single insecurity was being shoved into my face. Every time I asked if I was done. He would force me back into it, and I am grateful that he did. I ended up writing a good 11 pages throughout my tears, and I could feel him watching me write, even a cold touch on my hand. Until I ended the rant with making my own decisions, and not making it to please anyone, not even Lucifer himself. This is what happened after I ended the rant with that
Lucifer: well done, I’m proud of you.
I sighed feeling so much relief, like a weight had been lifted off of my chest.
Lucifer: now, I want you to rip those pages out, take a lighter, and burn all of it outside
So a few headaches and ripped pages. I grabbed my coat (it’s currently winter and freezing) and my tiny lighter and pages in hand. And began to burn my trauma away from me. It was a challenge to burn all of them at once.
Lucifer: maybe try one page at a time love
Me: fair enough.
I sat down on the concrete steps, took my pages in little bits and took my lighter to them and made sure they were completely ash. A few burnt fingertips and shivering mess later. My and Lucifers work was completed. I stared at the pile of ash in front of me. Feeing completely weightless and happy.
Lucifer: well done love, I’m proud of you. How do you feel?
Me: happy
So after struggling to get up because I had spent the past 20 minutes or so burning some pages. I smeared the ashes with some snow in order to at least deaden the smell. And maybe have it be a little cathartic to me. And went inside to change and shower because I smelled like smoke. And then i went straight to bed. So thank you Lucifer, I appreciate your patience and help with me. Even if I kick and scream about it on occasion. :heart::blush:

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Nice work , looking forward to updates , bit jealous of this guy haha everyone seems to like him haha

11 is a master number. Some call it Lucifers number

Well done. :clap:

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