I made a pact with Beelzebub, he did his part so it was time for me to do mine: directing my sexual and orgasmic energy to him.
So, last night, I started masturbating. When I masturbate for spiritual purposes, I don’t feel an ounce of lust anymore. I can just focus on the sensations and my goal. Back when I started, I focused on my goals as much as possible and still felt that lust-induced drunkeness - I didn’t know that one day I’d experience what I do now.
Edit: I forgot to say that also, at one point Beelzebub told me to “feel the rain”. A minute later it started raining.
I visualized his sigil, at one point it got almost as real as a visual hallucination. I continuously recited his enn at the back of my mind while I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I love this Earth.
I love the slugs crawling on walls, the flies in my house and milipede visitors, the grass and wild flowers in the empty lot across the street and the snails living there. I want to learn everything about biology, evolution, Beelzebub and his empire. Everything about Beelzebub.
I love this flawed body, and this rich but dangerous biosphere.
These thoughts filled me as I orgasmed; and it felt so, so intense.
This might be unrelated, but I also orgasmed twice while I slept. Dreamed, climaxed, woke up, repeat.
I just want to say that love Beelzebub and his empire. So many problems and suffering, but… it’s life.