I haven’t had one in a while. I’m exploring the idea more with spirits of the Goetia now. If it ends up in an orgy then I’m game. I’m probably in the dangerous mode of obsession in this area. The same thing happened when I wote to The Temple of the Ascending Flame. I had a hard time doing the initiatory ritual as described and fell into demon lover mode as I was still heavily under Lilith influence. Succubus, incubus, other… i was warped of mind. Actually, in this area I have a bit of lack of mental fortitude so seduction is too effective.
I’m of two paths. A self destructive path straight to the human formed GOD!!! Or, the path to earthly Cthonic Qliphoth embrace. In some ways it seems like a thrill seeking surrender of sorts or being stuffed and filled with the current, vibrations, and radiance of it and it’s beings. It’s not worship as some of it is very selfish. Trying to not to be disrespectful when greedily inviting spirits to dwell within you as much as possible seems like a fine line. I invoke or try to… and possession happens or it doesn’t but when it does now my ecstasy is off the charts.
How can I put it? Succubi or spirits like are overtly feminine or display key characteristics as such esp mouths, vaginas, chakras-vortices. They take energy for whatever if given in that way. Be it survival, storage, or something I don’t know. If you have enough lust and passion in this department it actually seems like the individual is more of the cliche’ energy drainer than the sucubus lover. It gets satiated, you get a high and the obsessive gets filled with energy. I’d say initially it was very draining but eventually energy and later still boredom. (And then I cycled to my old rage vs GOD blah blah… currently I’m in that lust build cycle).
Incubus or spirits displaying that characteristic even some that display both sexes or none (there’s some weird ones) seem to be about filling you up (or that’s how I interpret it). It might seem extremely homosexual but I have to concur they know what they’re doing no matter what form they take. It could be gross exaggerated imagination but the over abundance of energy isn’t nor is the orgasms of muscles, skin, nerves just about anywhere on the body.
Man, these being are fast to pick up on unshielded thoughts. I might barely start or not even openly think and I’m sneezing. I don’t know why and it’s not always where aroused. I’d say it’s a stupidly loud and annoying way to detect certain spirits. I’m not fond of sneezing at inopportune times.
So, I encounter this more awake or near awake but they know when I go to bed and know I’m easily aroused. For the last week this time it’s been and it gets stronger (maybe full moon???). I’m performing invocation the last couple nights and will continue for a few more or possible til the end of the year.
I’m reading more instead of theorizing. And I’m practicing but in my own fashion and not exactly from a ruleset. I’d like to use sigils more but some entities don’t have easily accessed to find except personally through them. I’ve even notice some sites copy sigils. I believe I will have to develope personal calling cards. I enjoy the enns that are easy to recite. Buer’s Gets recited a lot.
Maybe I’m pawning over demon lovers way too much. Seems like I’m a spiritual lust whore in this department and it’s never satiated.