Sense development & uncontrolled utilization leading to exhaustion

Kundalini, Chakras & Energy Work
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I’ve been searching through the forum but haven’t really found answers matching exactly on this. So, I’d like to ask how do you learn to control your senses and regain the energy after using them? Meditation seems to “worsen” the situation, since it only makes the development faster. So I believe some healthy breaks from meditation help. This is a long post, sorry for that :smiley:

Firstly: I know my chakras have been opening, but not in “correct order”. First was the crown chakra, then throat chakra, now sakral chakra is imbalanced. I’ve used certain meditations to make them work in balance, but I seem to have very little control over the whole “awakening” process. I’ve asked help from my spirit guides, especially Lucifer, but he only encourages to embrace the fast & furious ride.

I mean, I’m not complaining that I’m kind of regaining the “psychic abilities” I better had when I was a child and better learn to understand my spirit guides, but at the same time everything is happening really fast, too fast, and I can’t control when and how to use my senses.

I’ve always had ability for strong claircognizance, but I also wanted to improve my previous ability for clairvoyance. I shut it down around 10 years ago, because it was horrible to foresee deaths, major accidents and disasters. I wasn’t really spiritual back then and everything just freaked me out, so it seems I willingly blocked my third eye or something like that.

Instead of getting back the clairvoyance, now I’m able to read and release negative emotions from other people. I’ve always been able to read emotions from some animals and have the most bizarr conversations with them (oh boy how many times my cats have been complaining about each other to me haha), and with people I’ve just been a basic good listener due to my intuition. But now, I’m not only able to tell their true feelings they’ve hidden and locked away, but these people carrying negative emotions inside them are increasingly drawn to me.

People have started calling me on a phone and opening up, crying. It’s worst when I’m physically around people. Strangers come to me and with friends it’s most intense. Ofcourse I do like to help, and people feel good afterwards that they can release the feelings they didn’t even know they have, but the problem is that somehow this drains my own energy. I don’t “feel feel” their emotions, I can just exactly tell how they feel and even what kind of secret self-talk they have. They kind of channel through me.

After having these encounters, it takes several days for me to regain my energy. I’m just utterly exhausted, no matter how much I sleep, spend time outside in the nature or eat well. Of course these things help eventually, but how could I “turn the volume down” of this negative energy release -skill in the first place when I’m spending time with others? I’m sure I’m not the only one who has been struggling with this, so I’d be happy to get some tips.

I also want to make clear, I don’t even feel bad afterwards, just physically tired. And I’m always able to regain the energy levels, but I wouldn’t want to do this every time I spend time with other people :smiley: I know that I need to put some more boundaries too. I genuinely like to hear people out, but for my sake, I need to turn my back to some of them.

I have problems to control other senses too and I’m definitely attracting parasites. I think I was recently able to get rid of one long-term poltergeist parasite and I’m super careful with spiritual hygiene now, but some paranormal activity is still ongoing. However, now I don’t sense nor “see” any external entity causing that anymore. Lights turn on, objects move on their own in front of me, but I think I might be causing that myself? If so, it’s another indicator I’m not controlling myself.

How can I learn control, while at the same time some break from meditation is needed? I’m grounding myself, spending time in nature, etc. I don’t know that else to do.

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Meditation shouldn’t be “using up” energy but building it? When you put attention to any spot, whether it’san internal energy center or otherwise, this starts to pull energy to that spot, from outside you as well as inside. “Energy follows mind”. How are you meditating that you’re losing energy?

I think he’s saying you you hamper your progress if you try to micromanage this process. There’s no such thing as wrong order in my book, but I do qigong that has no such admonition, not yoga. The system is intelligent and you can trust it to develop as it needs to.

This is normal to feel ties after magickal work, and doesn’t sound like energy loss from the qi body, as much as the physical body, which are different things. Just eat and sleep well, stay grounded and let the system settle in with the new qi patterns.

I would treat these as a separate issue. You’ve probably seen our parasite tutorials, setting up wards to ring fence your meditation space might be helpful.
Attaching them drives them away and tends to discourage others from trying.

Practice. So if you practice less, you learn slower. It’s not that you can’t learn you just need more patience.

I don’t think you need to meditate less per se, maybe the technique needs to be switched up and the misgiving you’re feeling is about that rather than the concept itself.

If you cultivate qi from the cosmos you tend to feel more energized so maybe try that.
Look up @DarkestKnight ’s pore breathing” techniques to increase energy as part of your medication and be more of an observer than trying to control it.

Using language like “allow the energy to do this” or “notice the energy flows smoothly and easily like that” helps. If you are tight and controlling you block the qi, it’s important to stay fully relaxed in body, mind and emotion.

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My explanation was pretty unclear mixing multiple things, sorry for that. Meditation itself doesn’t consume energy, but it increases the activity of my senses which I don’t control.

I think you are right. I’ve been trying to micromanage the process after I read somewhere that chakra openings should be from bottom-up and not top-down. I might be building some hidden stress by focusing on the fact that everything hasn’t been happening in the same order as explained on internet :smiley: I guess the main thing is that I’m finally opening blockages. I’ve been meditating several years but only now I can actually feel and see the changes.

I’ve been using chakra meditation, focusing on each energy centre one by one and imagining the energy flowing and circulating to the same direction in all chakras. I’ve also used quite a lot meditation techniques by Joe Dispenza.

Makes perfect sense. Could it be so that my physical body isn’t yet fully adapted to changes in the qi body? And I’m consciously fighting back subconscious, or rather trying to reason and control everything.

Hmm, my conscious aims to “control” everything might actually be a root problem here.

I’ve used several methods shared here, and they have been super helpful! I haven’t been sensing external “additional” entities anymore, but I’m really careful especially when contacting spirit guides. I was told in a dream that there are some less intelligent parasites interested, but they keep their distance as long as I keep good hygiene.

Must recommend to other beginners too: This sigil shared by @DarkestKnight has worked very well too by keeping unwanted spirits away.

https://forum.becomealivinggod.com/t/raziel-sigil-to-defend-against-spiritual-harassment/118505?u=confusedwoman

Again, now this really seems to be my main problem. So I’ll continue with meditation, adding some breathing exercises (I actually remember just recently seeing this pore breathing technique -posting!) and trying to let go of my control & letting the higher self take more lead. It must be exhausting too that I’m constantly fighting and resisting myself

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ok im going to go out on a limb and say this is not your first time being a magician and haveing magickal talents. yor trying to control your powers too much like its a reaction in a beaker, if your chakars are going out of control and are not opening in the right order that stop trying to open them sepeterly and try all at once. what i think you should do is practice some energy vamparisam and stop putting out the consept that “im avaliable to talk to” energy people should not be walking up to you like that.

the idea came to me try summoning belial he might be able to help

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You have a point there. I just finished another “you were right about everything blaa blaa my inner feelings blaa blaa” phone call that came again out of nowhere. I don’t want to be rude, but at this point this is getting annoying. I can’t even recall what I’ve said, it’s like I’m some kind of radio broadcasting people’s inner self and their futures. Perhaps now I just need to walk away/not answer for a while.

Trying to open all chakras at once could be worth of trying, then balancing could work out better. Now sakral chakra is over-operating and causing disturbances to above chakras.

Asking tips from Belial is an idea I was actually thinking too! But I’ve been little hesitant to do that, because I met him once when I asked help with this poltergeist parasite, and he gave pretty tough love haha. He pretty much wanted me to gather myself and just do the banishing. He made me look into a mirror and gain my confidence back, and I just felt like a little girl who is yelled by her coach. I have a feeling that Belial would again tell me to “just do it yourself, you know how”. Lucifer and Belial both seem to believe I’d remember something, but it’s hidden in my subconsciousness. As a kid I had this idea that in my previous life I was shot in my stomach. Don’t know how I got it, super weird for a kid to think something like that. But anyway if that’s true, I could have been working with spirits before.

Energy vampirism crossed my mind, but now I can see so much negative energy behind happy faces everywhere that I don’t feel like I want to absorb that. Maybe it could be cleansed before absorbing, but then again I’m wondering does it harm the other person somehow? I like to help people and animals. And my pets seem to always feel the same I feel (If I feel sick or tired, they feel so too, if I’m full of high vibration energy, they are so too) so I don’t want to risk them to get any negative energy.

Someone here mentioned earlier to absorb energy from the sun (maybe it was @anon97554939 ?) but the problem is that here where I live, there is no sun in the winter, no daylight basically. It’s so cloudy I can’t even see the moon. Could I still absorb energy from sun/moon even if I don’t see them?

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Not it. (I don’t use chakras at all)

I’ve always struggled to connect if I couldn’t see it and find winter downright depressing where I live.

I have however been unwilling to admit I’ve been working on learning how to move clouds from out in front of the sun… since March of 2019.

My results with that are as good as the efforts. Usually I can’t remember to even try, let alone get myself to sit somewhere I can see the clouds I want to move or to do anything of those. When I put in effort and really want to see if I can do that- well it’s interesting.

Technically you don’t need to see it to use it, you just need to know it’s there, but something about seeing the clouds puts a fake barrier up and our minds struggle harder to connect.

Clearly this isn’t true for some, but I actually don’t even recommend the cosmos or the sun for servitor energy- it’s too far away to be consistently effective imop, you have to reach far compared to others energies that are much closer- the source for example can be found within and without so I much prefer it for an energy source because I don’t have any pretend barrier to leap over.

To learn to do this consistently and not accidentally, I had to learn to focus on all of my physical at the same time, what did I hear, see, feel, taste, smell and what was I touching.

Doing it all at once caused me to tap into all those other senses/spiritual bodies more consistently.

Now what the hell are we talking about? I just came cuz I was summoned… :rofl: late morning getting started for me…

Edit: Oh well regardless of what’s going on, I once too found my senses overwhelmingly and like I couldn’t take it or stop it. Especially right before they would get stronger.

I recommend focusing on the physical sensations, all of them as much as possible. Fuck that grounding shit, they don’t explain it well enough to help. Focus on all the physical sensations and eventually it gets easier because the Clair’s become clearer and more controllable when you need to just have a break.

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belial is someone you should try to talk to your being to nice when i think about you im thinking about easy prey. If i was homeless i would be givieng you a sob story and asking you for your entire wallet and car you need to become preadatory and not give a shit. when you drain someone for the fun of it and hurt them that “not giving a fuck” attitude is projected out. when people see you they should see a large predator something that wont have a problem with biteing their heads off. I’m not saying be mean to everyone you meet but when it comes to many of these people banishing is not going to help.

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Also i have worked with loki in the past i know he gets a bad rep for being tricky buy he cuts through the bull shit in a nice way. belial can be mean but sometimes you need that harsh reality shoved into your face especelly when people keep takeing whats yours. You got gifts if you had belial telling you to do it yourself that typically means you have the ability to do it yourself without help.

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Tell me about it, I’m seeing sun probably next time in February. It helps sometimes to see some moon light (which of course is reflected sunlight, but anyway), but even that’s out of option when there’s cloudiness and snowing 24/7. But now I’m being a very stereotypical Finn, talking about the weather. :sweat_smile:

Well that’s super advanced. Unfortunately out of option for me since I’m still learning my “path” and energy directing. My dictator consciousness and sub-consciousness are not cooperating well currently (and basically that’s the main reason I made this posting). And apparently my physical body is having hard time following the sense development, so I was thinking techniques to recharge the way that would help my physical body as well.

The way I see it (correct if I’m wrong), is that we are infinite sources of energy and therefore don’t really need external source. But, at the same time, I believe external energy can operate as a catalyst for recharging. Personally, it helps me a lot to meditate under natural light because it also affects so much to physical body. Now especially I feel I’d need some external source to help my physical body to keep up with energy body.

Maybe I’ll just try to imagine the moon above me when meditating, even if it’s behind the clouds. Sun is too far away in the daytime, so there comes my “mental barrier” you mentioned. :smiley:

Good to hear other’s have gone this through as well (successfully). So, the road is to just keep going, maybe allow myself a little more rest than typically, or “go home” as I did younger blocking my senses. Not giving up anymore though :smiley: The difference is that I’m not scared as I was when younger. It’s just really difficult to find the ways that best work for me, since there are so many different techniques and “paths”. I really don’t understand how you all have figured out these things.

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Only because something wouldn’t let me quit. I tried many a time. :woman_shrugging: apparently I don’t feel like myself when I’m trying to fit into anyone else’s box.

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You are right in that, and that was partially what was the point of Belial. I attract spiritual parasites and human parasites if I allow them use me. I have real power there hidden somewhere, but lack of boundaries and confidence is blocking me to fully use them. That’s probably why both, Lucifer and Belial refused to directly help me (i.e. handle situations for me). Because how’d I learn if I’m not forced to learn. That’s real help actually.

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I don’t either believe in “correct ways” to do something. It’s always personal. But have to say I thought spiritual “awakening” would be more like enlightening experience, but it’s far from that at least for me :rofl: I went from younger “am I possessed?” to “oh cool, there’s a term “manifesting” I’ve used all my life” to “I just see how little I understand about anything”. Luckily I can search info here, since I have basically zero spiritual friends. My ex (still friends) although believes nowadays in this, because he got scared shitless living with me and witnessing paranormal activity haha :joy:

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Oh I get what you are saying. Never seen people run so hard as when faced with truth, for example of something there is no way you could know at all, no one else knows and you let ‘em have it.

Conversely telling someone they should say their goodbyes and not have an argument because the person they are having fits at is going to die that night, is just as bad.

Not until it happens of course, then you must have done it, you couldn’t have been giving a shit about sick ole auntie May…

:woman_shrugging: much of the way I behave is indeed due to learning some things just aren’t appropriate to be shared. Gonna be held against ya, no matter how good or well meant it was.

Worse if they believe in you and then you can’t manifest the survival of someone or some crazy healing- which probably has more to do with the persons path than your ability or lack of it…

Not entirely true in my current life, but it’s not been an easy road. I’ve had a lot of fears too and very few people that could help or explain what was going on to make easier.

I do not wonder at all how people loose their shit when they start forcing this stuff to happen. Or when it’s natural and they’ve never heard of any of it because they were taught it wasn’t real.

:rofl: I only ever wonder why I can’t convince people that I have lost my shit! :rofl::woman_shrugging: I’m like come on really, did you see that, I predicted that, you heard me, it happened and you don’t see this as all kinds of fcking crazy… :rofl: lol good for y’all cuz seems kinda fucking crazy to me!

And the whole making friends thing? How do you do that when you can be certain with most of them that you really don’t want that kind of person in your life and your intuition on most people turns out right so why would you not listen to it? If you are mostly right and most of your regrets come from not trusting your gut…

What do you do when your gut rarely says hey, this one’s cool? Cuz that’s me. I so rarely can trust someone after my first encounter… because man. I don’t do fake well.

But it’s me not trying when they are the fake ass? Oft. :rofl: clearly I haven’t figured it all out yet. I am sure once I figure out my current mind fucks, that I’ll have a whole new set of wtf chucks.

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I’ve noticed the first reaction is most often denying everything, and only afterwards admitting that it was the truth. Some others have reacted with fear, asking how can you know that. I’ve noticed it would be often better to say nothing :smiley:

Oh how many times I was googling my experiences and coming up with “schizophrenia”, “psychosis”, “brain tumour” or *insert here any eye disease *and then in panic googling their symptoms :rofl: Weren’t really a match and life always continued, so I got over my Dr. google panic :smile:

Yep, and most of the time there’s absolutely nothing you even could do

But man, one of the most horrible thing was to see recurring dream of a plane crashing on snow mountains, ON A HOLIDAY ABROAD!! On our return flight day I was sure we are all going to die :sweat_smile: We landed safely but as soon as I turned on the radio while driving away from airport parking place I heard news about this Germanwings plane crash, where the mentally ill pilot intentionally crashed the plane on Alpes. It was on a same day my flight was, exactly after a week of recurring dreams. Dr google didn’t offer an explanation for that, or neither for foreseeing deaths of some people in dreams that happened exactly the same way I saw. That was the time I REALLY lost my shit and blocked that ability :sweat_smile: Paranormal activity was at least something that could be explained with life-long (shared) psychosis/brain tumour :smile:

Lol I’m always the “negative one” that others blame, only discovering afterwards that I was right about someone :smiley: I’ve also acted against my intuition before and it never turns out well.

THIS haha :rofl: :rofl: I don’t even want to imagine what are my next mind fucks.

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This is hilarious, I call it a google box. I realized I must be from an older generation than the current, when my now 16 year old was 3, and she asked her pappy why didn’t he just google it.

Idr what it was, but I was like damned. He didn’t even know what she meant until it was explained. I was just like yep. I can see where we are going from here :rofl:

Sorry that’s random, but your dr. Google made me think of it.

I actually am old enough, though barely that when I originally started looking into this, the internet was not a real good source or easy to navigate.

So I read books, then I went to real doctors. The only consistent thing I could ever get was that while it was not normal at all, (medical pov) as long as I could distinguish between the weird and the physical, they didn’t believe I had a mental illness.

So I was always like okay, so I’m weird, we can agree on that but you can’t help. Nice lol. Ya know that joke about how therapy can’t help what’s wrong with me… lol it’s true

All the studying has really helped me with shadow work and over coming my traumas and past things though. Not everything is for me, and that’s okay but there is a lot of valid techniques by mundane people that are not really all that different from what we do with shadow work and magic for it, that help.

And it’s helped me understand how others people minds and thought processes work; which is useful in a lot of ways. It’s easier to give someone the benefit of the doubt, forgive them, help them out of a situation they created etc- if you can understand the why or why they were thinking or not thinking.

But I still don’t like to be out there in the real world doing it atm! Lol :laughing: cuz of the above already noted shitstorm in my brain. :rofl:

Yes. The hardest part as it is, is knowing when you can help and when you can’t, it’s hard enough you can’t save/help every single person or animal that you want to, that you really really want to… I mean come on, it makes my heart hurt when I can’t…

Without adding anyone’s expectations or misunderstandings about how it works for me…thusly I rarely speak on it on the topic, even around here.

It’s too hard to relate what I mean, to those who haven’t experienced what I mean! :rofl: plus what do you say?

oh sometimes I can will things into surviving that can’t on their own or should not- all by myself without anything helping me except an internal connection to the source, that I can’t even explain- but sometimes there’s a great big sign above their heads that says, don’t waste your energy this one’s marked to go…

Like who would believe it, anyways lol.

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And actually my last experience, they didn’t want to stay. Like I knew it going into it, but it was my husbands mom.

And he knew it too, all the woman talked about was how she couldn’t wait to be with his dad again…she spent so much time telling me all I needed to know about the family, and wanting to be with him again. I didn’t see what it was until she got sick. Like I did, I even said once and he said no, don’t will that into existence…so I sat it aside and didn’t even try, didn’t believe it.

I still tried when she got sick, but her will to go was greater than anything I could do…

For real. He knew that and all of his siblings and them know she wanted to be her husband, so I didn’t even tell anyone I tried but him. He asked me to and I just knew…she was gone by morning, per usual when I can’t.

It really takes an initial emotional toll on me when I can’t. I know it’s not my fault, I know it’s not my lack, and yet. How can I do so much and still just can’t sometimes. Tells me this thing I call the source must be greater than I, if it gets to chose! :rofl: That’s a joke! I don’t even know what to think about most of this stuff.

So I just accept it for now till I can explain it someday down the road, hopefully when I learn more about how it works! If I understand how it works, then I can explain it to those who don’t get it yet. Maybe, works with other topics…

I don’t care that it works, I want to know how, why. Why is it this leads to that. I think that’s helped me a shit ton in my magic, even if not in my brain! :rofl:

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ahaha :joy: Dr Google is the best, it always gives you the worst diagnosis regardless what’s your issue. The etiquette is that before an actual medical doctor, everyone should consult Dr. google to get paranoid :smile:

Reminds me of the days my parents found facebook, oh lord. But I’m being called a boomer too nowadays! My nephew has born a phone in his hand and could send youtube videos before talking properly. Must admit I also still prefer actual books whenever I can find them.

I did some therapy once, and to be honest it didn’t feel so different to shadow work. If anything, it was nice to hear that I’m normal and working well my inner self :smiley: Everyone could benefit from some shadow work/therapy in my opinion.

And most importantly forgive yourself as well! It’s impossible to understand others without diving in your own mind. Although I’m definitely still on a process understanding myself :joy:

The the start of the conversation would sound completely insane :sweat_smile: “Btw, I can connect to this realm/energy and foresee things happening. And I can do stuff and talk to spirits! It’s hard to explain and I don’t understand completely either… How do you see universe?” Yep no.

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When someone needs to go, they need to go. It’s exactly so that they have their own path as well. I recently had a dream indicating that my uncle’s time is near. But it was more like seeing him on a train on the other side already. I had no business in that train and somehow we knew we couldn’t show we know each other for that reason, but the main thing was I saw him younger and finally happy. But he was like a big question mark seeing me there walking by :smiley: He’s been sad because his friends have passed away long ago already and he’s just lonely. In that train he was happy, having a big beer on a hand and a cigarette in another :joy: I guess alcoholism isn’t a problem anymore on the other side.

Hmm, weirdly in the same dream there were earlier some Red Hot Chili Peppers members. I guess it was some word game for “otherside”. Didn’t even realize that before!

Edit: I’d love to tell him that there will be again time when he’s happy and he shouldn’t be afraid, but in this case I just need to keep my mouth shut.

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Yeah, many people don’t put much stock into these things, but I’ve found they constantly deliver if you can a. Remember and b. Interpret them.

Then if you c. Can change them…

I don’t know I’m not consistent with it. When I’m aware I’m dreaming and even with projection or journeys too- I get distracted.

oohhh shiny wonder where this black hole goes

Or I’ll be like so, wonder if I can I manifest a pizza with a snap, or trying to figure out why it is, if I snap my finger at a plate I get a pizza crust, but do it at the oven and I get a pizza…

:rofl: I work against myself for everything I accomplish I swear lol. If I had better self control/discipline I can only assume I’d be amazed at myself because I’m doing pretty okay as a lazy fuck! :rofl:

But at the same time, sometimes I just want to sleep or just be, not be so damned focused. Historically, I have always worked myself into burnout, despite my best efforts not to lol.

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I get often mixed with dreams. But most of the nights I just have basic dreams where my subconsciousness tries to figure out normal stuff. Travelling somewhere (like being on the other side) feels different, but in that moment in a dream, I can’t typically separate it from normal dream (besides being vaguely lucid). Only parasite attacks I learned to separate earlier, because when waking up I had this weird sound ringing in my ears. Luckily haven’t had those for a while ugh :sweat_smile:

I’d manifest a family size pizza with extra cheese with no calories instantly if I could decide how these things work. Plus I would handle MUCH better my schedules too :thinking: I’m also great at procrastination AND burnouts :joy:

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