I agree with @shinri that you should drop everything related to the Golden Dawn. It is literally just putting more boundaries and roadblocks in your own way: “oh I can’t do magic because I need 4x ceremonial robes, a wand, an athame, a chalice, a cauldron, an incense burner, a universal circle, a triangle, the entity’s seal hand-carved in bronze, need to have a ritual bath, wait until the right moon phase and planetary hour, a compass that points true north, Mercury can’t be in retrograde…” – NONE of that matters at all. It can be helpful if you have the mindset to capitalise on those associations, but otherwise, it’s just a complete waste of time. Fuck all of that off and go back to the basics, but actually practice them instead of just reading about them.
Golden Dawn is closer to a religion than a practical system. It teaches you the basics (Modern Magick is good for this) but at the same time it enforces restrictions like “don’t even THINK about trying to summon an entity until you’ve done the LBRP without fail for 365 days in a row”.
Fuck all of that off. If you want to do magic, ACTUAL magic, then pick up something by the Gallery of Magick, or by Corwin Hargrove or Jareth Tempest, or better yet, read something like Liber Null & Psychonaut.
Again, forgive me for being harsh, but you seem to have formed or to be forming this idea that magick is some rigid, structured, hidden (=occult) set of rules and regulations. I promise you, it is absolutely not.
If you can’t afford even the kindle ebooks of titles mentioned in this thread, that’s perfectly fine. If that is the case I would HEAVILY recommend reading something like Feeling is the Secret by Neville Goddard (all of Goddard’s works are out of copyright and available free online). The book is like 50 pages long and it is universally applicable; in my personal opinion this is THE mechanism by which ALL magickal systems work.
Good luck 