Road to siddhi

The value and meaning of ascension is releasing mental, energetic blockages.
But because having a concrete goal is important for our mind, my goal is reaching a siddhi by releasing fears from the crown chakra level, which means expanding consciousness.
However, in big picture I hope releasing this amount of fog of fears will elevate me to my soul, and start to chat with him that for what lessons I came to learn, what direction I should take.
I worked on my crown chakra only slightly, experimentally, so this will show the amount of time which needed for a siddhi. I don’t want to boast anything with this journal, because there isn’t anything to be boasted.
(Others can comment in this journal.)

First day
2022.12.06.
2 hour 》 concentration
Concentration is about being attached to something and less to any other. I concentrated on my forehead.
1 hour 》 Affirmation: Nothing is brought into this world and nothing can be taken.
1 hour 》I meditated on the fact that I am the outer world for other people.

2022.12.07.
1h 》 I don’t define my surroundings.
This is just a plus acknowledgement and not the suppression what I already know.
1h 》 “I can’t bring anything with me from this world”
I tried to convince myself about this.
I try to notice that these are the truth and live with these beliefs like a lifestyle.
1h 》 concentration exercise
1h 》 Everything belongs to God. I walking around the place and try to acknowledge every object as a thing which belong to God.
1h 》 visualize that energy come from the Sun to my crown chakra.
1h 》 I took a historical book and said to every picture that it is in the Now in God.
1h 》 Acknowledging the present moment.
1h 》 I concentrated on the thought that future is not separated, it is in the now.

1 hour 》 affirmation: “I’m guided”. This isn’t just true because my soul or other higher entity guide me, but because my mind only consist which he got from the world.
3 hour 》 affirmation: Nothing belong to anything.
1 hour》 stepping back and back, observing the observer type of meditation.
3 hour 》 I did this “Nothing belong to anything” acknowledgement again, but now I walked during that.
I didn’t do these affirmations intensly but stricly.
Walking is good as well in this case, because it gives constant small opportunities in which I can say to it this affirmation.

2022.12.09.
3h 》 Visualizing a triangle as a geometric form.
1h 》Trying to imagine that I ride a bike. It’s a challenge, because it is difficult not to imagine that I falling off from the bike.

2022.12.10.
1,5h 》 Trying to find the me in my head
1h 》 I’m not the body
1h 》 Visualizing a triangle
0,5h 》 Nothing blongs to anything meanwhile walking
1h 》 We are always going backward in time.
0,5h 》 Focusing on time itself meanwhile walking
1,5h 》 Being present.

2022.12.11.
1h 》 neti neti method
1h 》 many type of affirmations on crown chakra.
Too many type affirmations. This is an illusion I have to cut through.
From now on I will practice only the affirmation that
->I’m not the observer.
Let’s see how far this one affirmation can bring me.

If h means “hour”, you are going to be crazy soon. Why you are visualizing a triangle 3 hours in a day ?

“If you can’t describe what you are doing as a process, you don’t know what you’re doing.”

First ask for advice, read a few things, understand the logic behind. These are my advices

I’m not ordering you from a higher position, don’t get me wrong. But what you are doing is harmful to yourself

have to agree, this immense devotion is not healthy.