Rerum Novarum [Vena's Journal]

Journals, Group Rituals & Free Readings
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So, been having this nagging feeling to make a journal and let all my ramblings out.

Welcome!

I don’t know how long I’ll be able to keep this up.

As a small foreword, I’ve been drawn to and practicing ceremonial/chaos magick for two years or more now. Never wanted to work with spirits, but that’s almost all of my practice now. :woman_shrugging: Didn’t have the best results for months, but looking back, I see that I wanted someone to hold my hand and guide me step by step and almost do things in my place. When I centered my practice on being ‘vibes’ based and not following anything strictly and just doing what I feel like, I’ve been flourishing. Occult has helped me overcome me being too lenient on other people for action/wisdom - I think the breaking point was me learning that the LBRP was incorrectly taught in the Golden Dawn book because they wanted people to think for themselves lmao.

So, what interesting has been happening lately?

Was randomly drawn to Lucifer 2 weeks ago and started praying to him and setting candles. I didn’t think much was happening, but looking at the last 2 weeks, I stand up for myself more, I am not afraid from confrontation and conflict anymore. I had always been fidgety and talked fast during class presentations because of my anxiety, but in the last presentations that I’ve done, when I finish them, I realize how calm and collected I’ve been while talking. Renich Tasa Uberaca Biasa Icar Lucifer.

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A few days ago I did a pathwoking with Shahtan from ‘Lucifer and the Hidden Demons’ for greater magickal power and psychic senses. Since then something has switched in me, can’t even put my finger on it. More calmness and assuredness in myself. Feeling my power. Knowing, that what I intent, can and WILL come to me. After the rite felt too much weird energy in my apartment (in which my mom and I as a kid experienced psychic attacks from something there), so I spent the rest of the evening shielding and banishing.

I’ve never been able to hear any spirits that well, only small snippets of their dialouge in my head. But after the pathworking things have changed. A day ago, when mentally and physically tired, I tried to meditate with Lucifer’s enn. Less than a minute in I heard distinctly someone start saying “I am the being of Light. The…” and then I passed out from exhaustion. Damn.

Also did a working with Diralisin to open up communication with someone and in a few days TECHNICALLY it worked, just not in the way I wanted to lmao. Reminds me of someone who here petitioned Mercury for a text from their ex, and got a message full of hate and ‘let’s never speak again’. Technically, it worked.

Today I started working with ‘Angels of Omnipotence’ and did the sigil to connect with your inner divinity. The rite asks you to image the state of wish fulfilled, but it is harder to imagine these abstract concepts than, for instance, being strong physically.

While I was doing the rite, someone called me in the middle in it, so I had to end it abruptly. Went to put on make up after the call. While putting it on, I had the hardest hit from my shadow about some things I did a few days ago - I’ve not had these ‘cringe sessions’ for more than a year now. In the book it says ‘if you don’t do stuff properly as said, prepare for bad mental states’. Maybe it was my subconscious imitating these effects, because it expected them.

I finished the rite and have been super derealized and disconnected from reality . Will do some rites today, to see if any change has occured. Things that were supposed to trigger me didn’t today at all. That’s where I will leave it for now, ciao

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Angels of Omnipotence is the heavy and the real deal.

In the book club I read about someone having the sweats, feeling too hot etc, and it being a symptom of not being able to handle the massive influx of energy.

As I felt that “yea I can handle this” (lmao), I did 4 sigils yesterday back to back.

Well guess who woke up sweating, heart pounding, and one of their desires manifested (career). Also couldn’t sleep the night before - I always pass out as soon my head hits the pillow, but I physically couldn’t sleep last night and always was woken up every 2h by random stuff. I EVEN GOT WOKEN UP BY A PHONE ALARM AT 4AM THAT I DON’T HAVE SET AT THAT TIME.

Get that book.

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I am having a bit of a break from work and school, so no real way to check my results, I’ve just been chilling and doing stuff.

When doing the Angels of Omnipotence rites, during the emotional transmutation part, I feel it in different parts of my body. When asked to feel bad about/without my results, I feel an heavy energy cloud on my left, when asked to feel as I have the results, I feel this energy cloud jump to the right of my body. I do not know, if this is a cultural programming I have subconsciously (the left is past, the right is future in tarot readings, I read from left to right etc), or if it is something else.

I guess I had some results - when ranting to Lucifer about lack of contact with one person, they texted me minutes later. And I have been working to appear more charismatic/have more charisma, and one friend commented that I have it out of the blue. Hail Lucifer.

I did a rite from LDH with Beelzebub to appear more beautiful (aaaaah I feel so vain! Rituals only about charisma and beauty and the material! I have to work more on my mental space too! But short term satisfaction feels good and being in accord to social norms brings also success!). I did the rite in the evening, and the next day I had work. I work in the culture sphere a physical job with 12h shifts, so everyone just wears joggers, old hoodies, worn-out jeans etc, but the next day after the rite, the people that I interact the most had worn new and stylish clothes that looked good on them. I have not had shifts since then, I have one tomorrow, but it was an interesting change that I noticed.

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P.S.

When doing rituals and saying out my will/divine names, lately I feel like my words and their vibration/soundwaves directly change the fabric of the universe. Scratch that, not only in rituals I feel it, but also when saying my will/willing things into existence/saying anything in my mind with lots of concentration.

It is a weird feeling. I am going to delude(?) myself that this means that I am doing things right.

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Fell sick, so been away from my mundane life a bit.

I discovered Gallery of Magick Facebook group, in which I think Jared Tempest posted his invocation of Lucifer - that stuff is no joke. The overwhelming surge of energy that I felt has been nothing like I’ve experienced before. I could not even properly finish the invocation almost, as the extasis I felt was too great. I suggest that invocation 100%.

I remember a few days ago when walking around I asked Lucifer for a sign, that he was with me and that he was hearing me at all. On a whim I asked for a red car as a sign, then thought to myself ‘But that is too common though’ - teetered on this idea, then asked for a yellow car too. While walking down the road, on which I asked for a sign, close to my home, there was a red parked car next to a red fire hydrant, with its numberplate starting and having the letters LI. The letters that he has in his name. I brushed it off as coincidence, then went down the street that my home is. I saw a dirty orange/yellow car parked. When I walked up to my flat’s building, right fucking across my door on both sides of the street were two red cars parked - one’s numberplate starting with the letter L, and the other one was an electric car so its numberplate had the letters EX.

Sometimes I feel like though I’m just talking to myself and that I am deluding myself with spirits, as I’ve stumbled around a lot trying to find what system fits me, and while writing this, I am starting to feel a pressure in my head, as in someone saying ‘No you fucking idiot’.

I did Lady_Eva’s Belial’s gateway symbol rite to open my senses. I felt a presence, stated my request and asked for a sign from Belial. I got some tingling energy in my body, felt a cold breeze on my lap a few times, so took it as a positive sign. I got a vision? that outside this circle were spirits/spirit, trying to get in (as in hey you called me, now I have to get to you to start changing your life) but they couldn’t. I always felt like there has been a weird protection around me. Is it ancestors, or is it my Russian orthodox ring, made by a monk in the 60s, which has on it ‘God, hold and save me’, or even something else ¯_(ツ)_/¯.

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06.05.2022. or hey let’s add dates so the journal looks fancier

Did the second day of Belial’s gateway sigil rite. When I finished my first day, I ‘gained an access’ to my astral temple, or so I would call it. I am able to imagine being inside of this white temple and call spirits and people in it. Feelin like the High Priestess in RWS tarot deck lmao.

No seeming difference in my senses, only that with my minds eye I’ll get more definite flashes of what the spirits look like.

I started working with opening my protection bubbles before working with magick, as of what I wrote in my last entry. Now when working magick and calling spirits in I feel these weird surges of energy that I’ve never felt before - it makes me stiffen up in a weird way physically and is energetically overwhelming for me, makes me shiver sometimes too. Let’s see what is the end magickal result with this experiment.

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09.05.2022.
Writing this on a can of chugged Monster energy, chainsmoked cigarettes and 3 hours of sleep. On my last day of Belial’s gateway symbol rite I just got a pressure in my third eye area.

A few days ago I did a ritual from ‘The Magick of Angels and Demons’ with Metzerel and Vapula for increased video editing skills before editing a video. I had to edit a 3.5 minute video from lots of material, match its rythm to music etc, which usually would have taken me HOURS, I’ve struggled with 1 minute videos before for a long time. This time, when editing the video, it took me only 3-4 hours, which was a significant improvement.

I guess my spirit communication is better, as the things they say more pop out in my head and are clearer when talking to them. But I have also been reading an article (chap10.html) and practicing speaking to my inner voice, which I also think has helped. In the article the guy basically starts speaking to his inner voice (which I believe is his Higher Self), and with time and practice the voice starts giving him correct information about various things and just making him do things, which would make his day orchastrated in his favour in the end. Interestingly, the voice loved to help other people.

I have no idea how personal I want to be in my journal, as I want to share results that inspire others, as other’s results have greatly inspired me to continue practicing, but don’t want to be identified. Well, today I was working on a set. We started 1.5 hours later than planned, which meant that we would finish 1.5 hours later than planned, which did not amuse me. I sat down in a corner and in my head I did a pathworking to Lucifer from ‘Lucifer and the Hidden Demons’ and asked for our work today to be fast and speed everything up. Thanked him and went on with my work. In the end, we finished an hour earlier, which means that we caught up to the 1.5 hours in the morning AND finished everything planned earlier. Hail Lucifer.

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I felt the same for a few weeks/months after working with those entities.

I have felt this too. Very strange, but gratifying, no?

Same to this also. Only for Goetic spirits though :thinking:

Excuse my like-spam, am enjoying your journal, looking forward to reading more :smiley: :bouquet:

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It is gratifying, as I do not feel like I am talking to a wall anymore, but on the other hand, while willing things, the impact of the will/my thoughts seemed so loud, that I was constantly second guessing myself and being paranoid that I had actually accidentally spoken out loud - not the best look, when trying to do some telepathy on people close to you :sweat_smile:

That’s interesting - currently I am only working with the Goetic spirits and Lucifer, and that’s what I felt when inviting them in. I thought it was just me not being used to energies.

And thank you! I really like reading yours too, because I enjoy reading how your mindstates altered your results, and your explanations of the subconscious mind are amazing :blush:

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15.05.2022.

I have to start listening to my intuition more and trusting myself more - I have a problem, where I mistrust my UPG or made up practice. I developed a quick banishing method where I inhale energy, and then project a moving and indestructable wall of energy, pushing all the gunk out, in one plane and direction and then repeat for the other 5 planes (in front, back, left, right, up down) and in the end I’m sitting in a big, clean box, similar how in Rose Cross ritual… Later I stumbed upon LadyEva’s post on magick only using your hands, and she mentioned a banishing method where you inhale energy and then blast it and feel the shockwaves going out from you - so I guess my technique is usable (why wouldn’t it be? I’m using energy and intent to push energy, I need to trust myself mooooore).

I used this plane wall technique in a rush hour, pushing cars, when I needed the road to be clean + prayed to Lucifer to speed up my journey - in the end I magickally got where I needed to in time with a clean road :innocent: .

I got Jareth Tempest’s attunement to Lucifer, and I think it was fueled by my ‘If I do something, it will not work, but everything else that others do, works and is legit’ (I’m working on this, I guess my Animus is not developed fully). Didn’t get the dramatic energy purging, that everyone else was talking about, and it has been pretty chill.

When working on set, we were a few people working on rigging some construction thing for lights. I’m still green, so I talked to Lucifer that I want to be a big part of the work and be needed etc etc, with the rig in mind. In the end I ended up setting up lights inside alone in a tad bit dangerous and physically hard conditions. Looking back, I felt and was more useful inside, that if I were to be outside and setting up the rig. I guess Lucifer knew better than me. Hail Lucifer.

A few days ago something activated in my mind and I entered the ‘living in the end’ mindset, that LoA talks about. I entered a heavy flow state and had no care in the world. In a few hours time, so many manifestations came into place, that I could not stop smiling all day. I got invited to a camping outing by afar acquitance, which I had been manifesting. I had been manifesting to work on a particular set, and I got a call from some producer, who wanted me to work there for a day. More friends were texting me that day. Got a super cool job opportunity. I do not know how to explain that state - zero lust for results, only pure vibes. And normally when I affirm or do techniques, back in my mind I’m always like ‘okay I do not have this thing, so now I will have it’ if that makes sense? In that flow state I thought ‘oh yeah, I have this thing, what about it?’. And usually when I enter the ‘I dont care state’, I start thinking ‘okay I am in this state, so that means Ill get my results faster!’. A cursed loop of lust for results. From that day I understood the importance of not thinking about the old story, especially in terms of relationships with other people.

About the work opportunity - every time I do a Labusi sigil for opportunities from Angels of Omnipotence, in a few days I get an opportunity to be a part of some project. I also got the Omnipotence attunement from Tempest, so I want to see how working with the book will be now.

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21.05.2022.

Because of work and school this past week I have been sleeping 2-4 hours every night, so no room for magickal practice.

I would say I am an asexual/aromantic (or at least on that spectrum), and using sex and seduction magick is amusing and fascinating to me. I do not understand what happens to them or why every 5th post on BALG is ‘how do I work with Sitri so I get hot girl and hot sex pls help tnx’, but I guess I fast-track on working on relationships and get benefits from people I work on if they like me. The ‘instant turn on’ spell where you rub your thumb with intention works very well for this - usually people start being fidgety (looking around, shaking their legs) and most of the time they are nicer to me. The spell in question :eyes:. I also started to connect to King Beleth and asking him to fill people with passion, and oh boy he works in SECONDS. The same fidgety body language and being nice to me are symptoms. One person texted me and called me, wanting to meet up in 5 mins after using this. Am I using people and playing with them? I genuinely don’t know, as I don’t understand these things, but it is amusing.

I just did AoO Labusi sigil for abundance, and saw a golden ring around me the whole ritual, sometimes flaming inside and on the edges. Let’s see how this book and my attunements work together. I have a hard time connecting with the angels outside of their sigils, but now when doing the sigils I actually feel a connection.

After I got the Lucifer attunement, my connection with him shifted - before I always called in my mind, and then a feeling came that ‘he was here’. After the attunement I couldn’t get the feeling, and started worrying that I lost the connection. In reality, I feel like I do not get this feeling anymore because now he is always here, he cannot come a second time per se. A few days ago, when walking to the store, in frustration, when talking to him, I asked for a sign that he was listening, and asked to see a big L letter anywhere. An hour after when I got home, I remembered that I wanted to check out someone’s post on BALG, so I went and searched them up. When I clicked on their profile, I saw that their profile picture was just a ‘L’ letter, and their bio only contained capitalized L letter. Their name on this forum doesn’t start with L, so it was a weird AI profile picture generation. I took that as a sign that I am listened to.

Got the Aphrodite attunement, and now, whenever I work with her, only communication I have with her are sensations in my body, and audially she communicates only with bubbly, joyous female laughter. Will continue to work with her. After getting her attunement, I have been feeling more love towards a person that I literally with rage and anger yelled at for 10 mins, because I did not like their attitude towards me, but I’ve also been an emotional mess these past few days because of her energy :woozy_face:

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22.05.2022.

Did some omnipotence workings today - even though I do not have the attunement with some of the angels, their presence was still stronger now, and meditated with Aphrodite. Felt her energy and connection so much this time, I am happy now.

Came to this journal only to report on interesting thing - did some rose petal and candle offerings for her, gave them her energy, and later, when I went to check up on my candle, the wick was in a mushroom (?) shape

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I’ve went trough this batch of candles (like 30 pieces or so, one candle left in that batch) and this has never happened before. Even with other candles. I’m trying to make myself see some flowers in there, but mushroom is a mushroom lol. I’m taking this as a sign.

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31.05.2022.

I have been following some QiGong beginner videos on youtube, not feeling any benefits that I could put my finger on, but I feel like it’s a good energy control exercise (I’m kinda sick of making chi balls in hands).

Been focusing on material magick - did a Labusi opportunity sigil, got a small but super fun work project in a day.

Did the “be more likeable” sigil from AoO, and the next day I unconsciously wanted to do a new makeup look (which will be my summer staple from now), which so many people in 3 days complimented and said that I looked so cute and doll-like :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: . Been more social too and have had good interactions.

I did the artistic expression sigil from AoO, and then after a day I had to make a video and be an operator for school - and honestly, I’ve never been so good and quick at finding beautiful shots and good perspectives as I was that day :sparkles:.

And another public praise to Lucifer - had to get to work in a rush hour, and got there JUST IN TIME, second to second, even if the taxi app said that it would take 7 minutes more (not taking into account the traffic). Hail Lucifer :heart:

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4.06.2022.

The psychotic drowns in the same waters in which the mystic swims with delight

I whisper to myself, as I try to hold myself together. For a few days I felt the energy matrix too strongly - air held the same weight as physical objects, and I felt like I was swimming through energy all day. Through air the electromagnetic forces flow and sound waves make their way. And, of course, chi itself rests here.

My thoughts have been also too loud and impactful on the matrix, and I am constantly feeling my lips if I am saying something physically or just in my mind.

I did a few sigils from AoO. When I start to do them now, I suddenly get a massive surge of positive and uplifting energy, I can’t stop smiling.

I did a sigil in regards to one person, and I feel like I impacted us both strongly - I’ve never really gotten backlashes in magick, but if this is what it feels like to get hit with magick, then I feel like I should be a bit more careful how I impact others (also I got more confirmation for myself that it works :crazy_face:)

I have been working with Lucifer, and before I really didn’t get the feeling that spirits genuinely want to help me, I felt a bit inferior and that they were looking at me with a side eye. A few days ago I was hit with some shift, and now I feel like spirits are happy to work with me and that it is a mutually beneficial relationship.

Lucifer appeared to me like this today, came up from the shadowy light and listened to me :heart:
Film_-_Dragon_Spirit

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Aphrodite led me here. Now i think i know why.