Rekindling The Inner Flame

Many have spoken about a time in their life when they were new to magick or times when they discovered a new form of magick to implement into their current practices and how that (for most) seems to come with a spiritual high of sorts. Many times the practitioner, eager to learn new things finds himself/herself developing an outright obsession for the latest tasks on their to-do list, delving deeper into magick, being fueled by the sheer thought of possible upcoming new accomplishments that lead to more power, more achievement, and ultimately self godhood.

Once the magician has came, saw, and conquered these new goals, that flame of excitement and craving for the unknown soon vanishes as quickly as it came leaving the magician feeling yet again somewhat unsatisfied and longing to seek out even more knowledge and methods of practice. That yearning, that seeking, that feeling we crave is not a bad thing at all. It’s what inspires us to move further along and develop new abilities.

However, there comes a time when every magician reaches their maximum, not a maximum of abilities but more like a point when they truly understand how everything around them operates and functions, a point when each new method, each new ritual or spell, each new undertaking no longer seems entirely new but the magician feels as if each new task is no longer something new they have yet to discover but each task is simply an offshoot, a spinoff, or simply put, another version of the same old stuff we’ve been doing all along but labeled with a fancy name to appear as if it’s truly something more.

When the magician reaches this threshold, even the most exciting undertakings can become dull and habitual. Even though the magician still yearns to reach a maximum of occult based knowledge, that inner spark, the inner flame that drives us to succeed loses it strength. The ambition to press forward is still there, make no mistake about that, but the previous sensations, the previous spiritual high that comes while seeking the unknown is no longer there. That electricity running thru your veins feeling is gone. One is still capable of seeking more knowledge without it but to some, that feeling is what ultimately keeps them going like a blood thirsty vampire who can smell their next victim walking in the near distance.

I am currently working on a ritual to rekindle this flame and bring back the feelings of spiritual ecstasy. A sort of re-initiation into the darkness similar to the one in WOD but more hands on since the one in WOD involves mainly just speaking, and not an intitiation rite for a beginner but something designed for more adept sorcerers to not only confirm to the inner and outer darkness that I am still here and I still acknowledge you but to recreate that initial lust for occult based knowledge and magick, and the amazing feelings that come with it.

Some of us will forever remain obsessed with the occult but we still yearn for that unmistakable feeling of ecstacy brought on by accomplishment, power, and new discoveries. Does anyone else have any methods they use to keep this inner flame burning?

And no, I am not speaking about becoming bored with the occult I am speaking of how living a magickal lifestyle for an extended period of time eventually makes your sensations content and with each new discovery instead of feeling that amazing spiritual high and electrical buzzing in your veins that a new magicians feels with each accomplishment, the adept instead experiences a moment of “Aha! okay that makes sense!”

And I know many neophytes will say, well I will never feel that way about magick but keep in mind I am not talking about losing interest in magick I am talking about losing that ‘high’ feeling one gets when they discover something new or realize something is very real. And new magicians still have such a long road ahead of them so they are unable to realize this now but within a few years they too will understand what I mean by this post because they too will feel it.

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Hi Raven.

I liken this to the idea of Sex or listening to a song track. Eventually I grow bored…vet burnt out…as I like to play certain songs on repeat before burnout. As far as occultic things go I am working on my own “spiritual tools.” the spiritual tools are the foundation for my future experiences, and tbey are unique as they reflect me down to the genetic level, even though a few may have stumbled over them (cough cough).

Im not sure e actly if that is what you are talking about…but a thing is the process of working with Death Energy is similar to burnout in that it brings on a Morbidity state. This state of mind/energy can be Negated by an opposite positive emotion like Sex and Humour. When people work with demonick beings of death over a period of time that energy effects them physically and on a psychological level. My technique for counteracting that is to call to me a Succubus (working with sexual energy and laughter) which I experience often.

For you it would be an Incubus. Here is a thought regarding this and perhaps a Recipe:

  1. This is sexual magick. Sex is the process also of birthing our dreams into reality.

  2. Sex is a creative process. Hence…Demons are known as “Muses” to your creativity.

  3. Sit down…write out what you want that would sound exciting…now find the appropriate demon.

  4. Superimpose its sigil onto a new peice of paper. Go over its grimoire description… Rewrite it to Reflect your desires (how the spirit manifests, etc). Then write a Backstory of similarity reflecting your desire (creation of personality profile).

  5. Then go searching for things that relate to your desires… News articles, events/history, organizations, science, politics, the limkts the sky. Add that to personality profile as you create an extra layer of Symbolic Association. Keep this in mind to choose wizely your associations.

  6. Find any corresponding imagery that inspires you and add it to the profile. If you are Artistic, then add Art relating to it.

  7. After you finish your profile to the point of where its organized and makes sense (use the symbolic associative correspondences to fuze Logic with your creation)… You now have what is known as a HYPER-SIGIL that Evolves as you work with it more as a Spirit Creation…this is not a one shot deal…this IS A RELATIONSHIP.

  8. Utilize profile to call to you a Divine Incubus of an Infernal…or whatever spirit floats your boat. This Incubus will reflect the profile you have created… Which will be about your Inspiration… This Entity will act as a MUSE to further inspire more things of related things into your life. It will reflect the energy of the Goetic, but through the FILTER of the spirit profile you created… hence the evolving relationship.

  9. After Evokation… Have spirit sex with it. The Sexual energy will Empower it, which will in turn be Woven into the reality of your Inspiration…just like making a request to a Demon.

  10. When I made the comment of Sex and Laughter/Humor counteracting morbidity/fear… You can do the same thing here… So by having sex with this Being… You empower it… But also you can feed it through other chakras as well… Which will manifest in how you interact with it. I.e. the 5th chakra would be expression so perhaps hou sould have conversations with it…or bring it along as a RUNNING BUDDY to empower your running exercises. The skies the limit as far as your creativity goes.

  11. Knowing this…you can use this Evokation to essentially empower every area of your life…My Muse is Belial… But that is because i have certain occult knowledges concerning him so see how he could cover every area of my life…and like using this method can Tweak that…so I wont talk too much about him here.

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Another thing to keep in mind. This Being is an Intimate part of yourself it is not zeperate even though it may be outside of yourself. It is connected to your energy afterall. There is no parasiting here despite what people may think. Only you control thr manifestation of this being.

One of the reasons I got so down on the whole white-light and healing thing was it seemed like I had attained all the goals it recognises as valid, so i think I know a little of what you mean.

It’s different for everyone, but since I got interested in LHP ideas and revivified my childhood goal of basically becoming a goddess (yeah, I know!) that’s given me some astonishing new goals to aim for, and new adventures have shown up as a natural part of the process of working towards them.

I’ve had specific goals for quite a long time that require a high level of reality-creation and alteration, and while I’ve made huge steps towards them and attained some goals, I keep stretching the reach of what I want. :slight_smile:

Until I can command reality with ease and without problems, exactly like I can alter the facts in a daydream, I won’t have attained those goals, so maybe the answer lies in broadening the reach of your desire (a motivating factor for all life on this planet) to keep giving magicians something to aim for?

Or maybe that’s just me, anyway it’s worked. :slight_smile:

The inner flame doesn’t become powerless it just dissolves everything when we reach certain understandings. The key is to keep moving forward and develop our awareness to the point that we can perceive what is incomprehensible to most.

During this period we become an empty shell and we find ourselves at odds with ourselves and the cosmos but there is an important reason for this. It is in death that we can rebuild ourselves and create something that is entirely self-made. Sure this point in nothingness can be perceived as wholeness or oneness when the ego dies but it is when the ego strives for continued existence while coming to certain understandings of this oneness that we become something new. Black and white understandings of spirituality dissolve because they only serve purpose for those who created them, once this is understood it becomes clear that there is only one path that matters. That path is yours.

Submission to the throws of death isn’t something most of us want to do because it’s painful but it becomes neccisary when you want to clean the slate and create a new you who’s truly self-made and divine.

Most people won’t find this because they are to busy living out other people’s designs instead of creating their own. For me everything exists as a paradox of understandings but that doesn’t keep me from striving to become something more. You have to understand and quite literally “feel” the system before you can beat it.

Until then,

Chaos is a ladder.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVSnjhp0nv8

Just to make sure no one is misunderstanding me. I am not saying that I am bored with magic because I’m not, or that I’ve maxed out my magickal education because I haven’t as there always something new to learn since magick is a vast never ending subject.

What I meant is that once you know the basics and have mastered them, then mastered the intermediate stuff and most of the advanced stuff, with each new method you find you no longer have that thrill that a newbie has where they are excited to learn and thrilled this stuff is really real, because eventually you reach such a deep understanding of the occult that it’s no longer new or a thrilling discovery so it becomes a habitual lifestyle for you which seems like just any other day to you.

And when you discover new methods you realize they are not really new, they are just a different version of something that already exists, something you’ve already explored and mastered but just a different version that someone created to make it more interesting or add a new twist to it. I am talking about complacency.

I didn’t misunderstand you. There’s a point when the “climb” looses meaning or purpose because of complacency. In the Qliphoth this is known as Thagirion. Once this is reached most black adepts fall short of their potential because all earthly goals become actualized here. The purpose of this sphere is to revitalize or rekindle that inner flame/black flame with the fires of the Black Sun. Everything that’s truly useless to you will be dissolved in this process. Then it’s a matter of accepting this spiritual death and rebuilding yourself into something better.

There is nothing wrong with complacency. I guess if you’re looking for that rush or wanting to discover something new it really becomes a matter of stepping outside of your comfort zone. For me it was experiencing death and rebirth in Thagirion.

Yeah, this is why I have done some empowerment rituals and am currently working on a new ritual to rekindle that spark, and I plan to do the black sun exercise again as the first two times I’ve done it I was suddenly overcome by a wave of occult obsessions which lead to research that lead to new discoveries, so the black sun has proven to be very useful to me before.

Maybe it’s not the magick, but the goals that are too small. I mean, I could definitely understand losing the thrill when you can acquire whatever material goals you want. But hell, there’s a lot more to reality than just having the right job, spouse, social life, or whatever. Hell, I’m pretty sure being able to speak “orchid” would present something new to figure out and something “exciting” for at least decent period of time. I’m not saying your goals are small, I’m just pointing out that many people get bored because their personal level outranks the set of priorities they used to have. If the priorities change, then perhaps the personal level has something that actually merits its capabilities. I would wonder what an “exciting undertaking” is to you, because when I have heard this with others, such undertakings were things that could be achieved pretty readily without magick rituals. So again, perhaps its what the personal priorities are that keep the flame feeling dull.

Right on… I know it will work out for you. Anymore I’ve been trying to make sense of the incomprehensible and trying like hell to answer the big questions. Upg is where it’s at for me anymore. I’m tired of the usual that makes up LHP books nowadays and it doesn’t look up to me either. Lol, I’m more into Star Trek and Physics anymore when I do research. This is more fulfilling for me than reading about the pros and cons of ritual cannibalism from a person who’s never done this before. As for my practices, I meditate and practice yoga every day. Once you can soul travel and become good at it, you’re practically a god imo. Sure I switch it up and do rites and rituals on special occasions but this isn’t my main area of interest anymore because I’ve been preoccupied with writing and soul travel fits in perfectly with my current schedule. :slight_smile:

Get into exorcism.

It has nothing to do with my goals, I have already achieved everything I want in life as of right now so for me there is nothing left to obtain except for more knowledge and maybe some material items I decide I want further down the road. I am self employed, I make good money from home and never have to deal with society unless I want to, I am building my own home currently so I can live rent-free, I am currently writing a book, I have finally learned to love and respect myself, and I have a mass following online between many different sites, so I have already achieved the biggest goals that I wanted more than anything in life.

I am truly happy and content because of this so I mean there is nothing to get super excited about anymore because I already have what I want and magick is the reason for achieving some of those goals so I mean I don’t have that excitement like a newbie does because I’ve already been there done that, so all I have left to seek out is new knowledge but eventually I will have learned so much that even knowledge will seem no longer new or exciting as I will have reached my peak. What I’m saying is that I have almost achieved 100% personal godhood and once one becomes a god they have reached the threshold and there literally is nothing new to discover, and I am almost at that point except for a few systems I have not yet studied which I plan on doing very soon.

Once you have accomplished so many things, it is no longer thrilling to you because you already accomplished it and have already become used to having that accomplishment as an everyday part of your life, so it becomes just a normal thing for you like an everyday ritual or habit, whereas something you have never done before is thrilling because you look forward to accomplishing it and there is that spark in your eye of excitement of reaching your goal, but once all goals have been reached and the magician is satisfied with their current situation then there is no excitement because there is nothing new and unknown on the magician’s to do list.

And when you do finally have a new goal, you don’t rush around trying to make it happen as fast as you can because you have already experienced it before and you know for a fact that you will get what you want in due time because you trust your magick enough to know it will work, so you no longer feel the need to rush things and work at a goal 24/7 instead you just remain calm and sit back observing your surroundings because you know there is no need to rush, you know your goal will manifest itself within a reasonable time frame. But a newbie doesn’t know for sure that a spell will work so they spend all their time focusing on it trying to achieve the results as soon as they can because the sooner they see results, the sooner they can get that proof that magick is real.

Like a good example to compare this with is when you are a child and taking your first trip to Disney world. You are super excited and can’t stop talking about it and the night or two before you leave you can’t sleep because Disney is the only thing on your mind and the great adventures that await you there. But fast forward to 10 years later and you are taking your 9th trip to Disney, yeah you’ll still be happy that you get to leave town for a few days and ride some fun rides but are you super thrilled to the point you can’t sleep? Nope, because you’ve already been to Disney World 9 times so although it’s still fun for you, it’s no longer some big mysterious fun thing awaiting you around the corner, you already know what to expect when you get there.

Only two of you seem to actually get what I’m saying which is making this topic frustrating and pointless so I am done explaining, if you don’t understand it then it’s because you have yet to experience it yourself and no amount of guessing what I really mean is going to help. I am in no way dissatisfied, in fact this topic is about pure satisfaction to the point of total voluntary complacency.

Raven’s Ascent, I understand what you are saying. Obviously I’m much newer at this, but I remember the first time I ever did a ritual, the first spirit I ever called on, the day I first started to research the topics on the LHP and black magic, with true interest, each time I learned a new skill, found a new magical interest. There is always this amazing energy to any first, and odd mix of feelings toward it. My success rate is still far below where i want it to be, but still I LOVE the feeling of “oh… that actually worked…” when it really does so. It’s admittedly a bit sad to think that someday, when I build more and more on everything I’m learning now, that “Wow” will turn into almost a feeling of having expected and known full well I’d get the result.

Already I have a need to aim a step higher each time, to learn a new skill, to read something new, to discover more of what I can be taught, to ask the next question and find the next answer. I think that’s one reason we push ourselves to keep practicing, to keep learning. The sense and feeling of our own power and success becomes almost a need.

[quote=“RavensAscent, post:13, topic:6361”]It has nothing to do with my goals, I have already achieved everything I want in life as of right now so for me there is nothing left to obtain except for more knowledge and maybe some material items I decide I want further down the road. I am self employed, I make good money from home and never have to deal with society unless I want to, I am building my own home currently so I can live rent-free, I am currently writing a book, I have finally learned to love and respect myself, and I have a mass following online between many different sites, so I have already achieved the biggest goals that I wanted more than anything in life.

I am truly happy and content because of this so I mean there is nothing to get super excited about anymore because I already have what I want and magick is the reason for achieving some of those goals so I mean I don’t have that excitement like a newbie does because I’ve already been there done that, so all I have left to seek out is new knowledge but eventually I will have learned so much that even knowledge will seem no longer new or exciting as I will have reached my peak. What I’m saying is that I have almost achieved 100% personal godhood and once one becomes a god they have reached the threshold and there literally is nothing new to discover, and I am almost at that point except for a few systems I have not yet studied which I plan on doing very soon.

Once you have accomplished so many things, it is no longer thrilling to you because you already accomplished it and have already become used to having that accomplishment as an everyday part of your life, so it becomes just a normal thing for you like an everyday ritual or habit, whereas something you have never done before is thrilling because you look forward to accomplishing it and there is that spark in your eye of excitement of reaching your goal, but once all goals have been reached and the magician is satisfied with their current situation then there is no excitement because there is nothing new and unknown on the magician’s to do list.

And when you do finally have a new goal, you don’t rush around trying to make it happen as fast as you can because you have already experienced it before and you know for a fact that you will get what you want in due time because you trust your magick enough to know it will work, so you no longer feel the need to rush things and work at a goal 24/7 instead you just remain calm and sit back observing your surroundings because you know there is no need to rush, you know your goal will manifest itself within a reasonable time frame. But a newbie doesn’t know for sure that a spell will work so they spend all their time focusing on it trying to achieve the results as soon as they can because the sooner they see results, the sooner they can get that proof that magick is real.

Like a good example to compare this with is when you are a child and taking your first trip to Disney world. You are super excited and can’t stop talking about it and the night or two before you leave you can’t sleep because Disney is the only thing on your mind and the great adventures that await you there. But fast forward to 10 years later and you are taking your 9th trip to Disney, yeah you’ll still be happy that you get to leave town for a few days and ride some fun rides but are you super thrilled to the point you can’t sleep? Nope, because you’ve already been to Disney World 9 times so although it’s still fun for you, it’s no longer some big mysterious fun thing awaiting you around the corner, you already know what to expect when you get there.

Only two of you seem to actually get what I’m saying which is making this topic frustrating and pointless so I am done explaining, if you don’t understand it then it’s because you have yet to experience it yourself and no amount of guessing what I really mean is going to help. I am in no way dissatisfied, in fact this topic is about pure satisfaction to the point of total voluntary complacency.[/quote]

What you pointed out is exactly what I mean. Of course you would be bored after achieving all that, but this happens to people who don’t pursue these goals with no conscious use of magickal ability. I mean, I’m not trying to demean your goals, but everything you have achieved, at least in this explanation, can be achieved through “ordinary” means. But with what magic can help you achieve, which goes far beyond the normal priorities of this world, wouldn’t it be fair to say that, possibly, you are placing magic in a place where it has outgrown these priorities?

You are assuming that people are asking these things because they are newbies, or that they have that “nervous anticipation” that makes things exciting for only some people. I don’t know about everyone else, but I could give a rat’s ass about anticipation. Moreover, while I don’t own my own space legally, I have absolutely no doubt that what I do will work out for me, and in effect I “own” everything that I attempt to do. But when pursuing money, women, social status (I don’t quite care too much about that), or material possessions gets boring or mundane, I can find something else to do.

I mean, can you teleport to any location on earth? Can you communicate with animals or plants with as much clarity as you can a human being? Can you fly, transform into a mythical beast, or corporealize entities that normally don’t possess physical existence on this plane? I’m not saying that any of these things are actually more worthwhile than what you have done, but if your problem is not getting a thrill out of something, can it be that you are reaching too low with these goals? Can you honestly say that you have pushed magick to a point where it might test your anticipation?

Again, I personally don’t care for or gain excitement from thinking “what if”. I gain excitement from knowing that something is going to happen, and the difficulty of something doesn’t motivate me in the least bit. For me, difficulty rarely, if ever, means that something is worthwhile, and my experience has taught me the exact opposite of paradigmatic prioritization that places hard and good in the same sentence. So I can admit that I may not understand your problem, because thrills are not gained at all from working with the “unknown” or in dealing with ideas where something that I do “might not work”. I enjoy this stuff because I know that it works, and that it puts me in a place where “fantasy” is the basis of reality.

So hey, whatever you do, it’s gonna be up to you. I just think that there is definitely room for your magick to become lively again if you are willing to stretch your imagination. But since your priorities, if they are reflected in these listed goals, rest in things that really don’t require the type of magic talked about here in order to be accomplished, I can’t see how someone could not eventually get bored.

@barbarasboy,

Imo, contentment isn’t an easy thing to accomplish in this day and age. Most people strive for this and have all the tools neccisary to achieve this in front of them but they never achieve this in a lifetime. Personally, I don’t know very many people in real life who are truly happy with their lives and it is this reason why I think most people turn to religion and the occult for answers.

Even then most people don’t find this in magick or gnostic teachings. They usually end up settling for something that falls short of true happiness because they lack the drive to continue walking the path. With the way things are in this world I think contentment is a hard task to accomplish for most people. If someone can truly say that they’re happy with their life with or without magick then they’ve earned the right to pat themselves on the back in my book.

All of us really don’t know each other well enough to say whether or not it’s easy for one person to accomplish this goal or another. We all live different lives with different circumstances and backstories.

[quote=“RavensAscent, post:1, topic:6361”]there comes a time when every magician reaches their maximum…

each new undertaking no longer seems entirely new…

each task is simply an offshoot, a spinoff…

the inner flame that drives us to succeed loses it strength…

Does anyone else have any methods they use to keep this inner flame burning?[/quote]

“It takes one to know one as they say so I’ll try and give you one solution.”

This conflict will always be there because of imaginative people, so I guess you are highly creative like I am. Its positive side will allow you to be more effective at magic than many more who are left brained in their primordial output. I have been creative all my life and so I thrive on new ideas and that initial aspect of creating a plan of action but once this has been established, I can lose interest.

You may find that you are impulsive sometimes, us creative types are bloody volatile and explosive on occasion because this is part of our spontaneous nature. It allows us to bring up new ideas from deep within whereas some people (usually left brain intellectuals) are better at maintaining ideas and plans because they are more stable than us. I’m not saying that we are inconsistent or unstable but our nature can be like ‘pure fire’ at times, which makes us highly creative and therefore bloody good at magic…which of cause is pure creative energy.

Once that creative phase is over however, the enthusiasm can subside especially when we progress and obtain results. We may strive to find new stimulus here, or even try tweaking old ideas but this never seems to hit the spot does it? Our desire to press on is still there but because every new idea after a while seems like a variation of the last one we eventually hit that wall!!

       "[b]This is when we need to rekindle those flames of passion[/b]"

Some may say that you need new goals or you should broaden your horizons a little, which is understandable but this won’t work either if you don’t need to set any more targets yet. Performing magic just for the sake of it, to prove a point or even just to fill your time isn’t going to produce any worthwhile results as this isn’t a ‘true calling’. Making a ritual ‘call’ for the wrong reasons always results in either failure, or just fucking stagnation as nothing happens at all!

I wrestled with this same problem in my hectic 20’s as I had more energy than an atomic bomb. I would love delving into new ideas and projects but once they were complete, I would be busy trying to find new stimulus to keep those flames burning. Creative types always seem to want fresh blood to maintain focus and energy, this of cause is no use if you are losing interest in what has already become established, complete AND effective!

The answer I found was to realise that we are magnificent and have achieved a great deal with our creative energy, therefore we must honour what we have done by showing appreciation to those spirits and ourselves. This can be accomplished by devising ceremonial gestures as an act of pure love without expecting anything back in return, we must learn to give unconditionally. This creative energy of appreciation can also be extended further by passing on our knowledge to others, either from a standpoint of a ‘pure altruistic desire to do so’ or as a business where we charge for our services.

This act of self love and increase through others will stoke the embers and keep the flames burning. It will fulfil your creative juices without having to start new projects or tweak existing rituals, which are complete as ‘there’s nothing worse than trying to fix things which aren’t broken’. I hope this helps you, or any ideas you can take from this. It will definitely let the powers of darkness know that you are still there and love working with them as you are grateful for all of their past help. Love expressed in these ways is a powerful gesture indeed, it just becomes a simple matter of displacing your creativity through the medium of appreciation instead, which of cause strengthens your knowledge and your energies are still challenged and extended further by helping others.

How’s that for complacency?

I took a different appoach and searched for what that inner flame was, the patteren of how and for what reasons it sparked in my life, and why it mattered to me in the first place.

I noted the common theme behind these various elements as: interest.

In other words, what causes a person to ‘buy in’ to something as worthwhile, and ignore other things as irrelevant? Interest exists in the drive for avoidance and desire.

I noticed that intensity increased through the compartmentalization of consciousness, what is known in psychology as projection. I set out to learn what this was and harness the force consciously instead of being driven unconsciously. I could call it the underlying force behind the drive of all action, perhaps will.

At one point a shift can occur where this drive or inner fire becomes a consicous choice that can fuel anything. The source is not yet comprehensible to me yet I can still use it. Mystery (the inner fire) remains within direct application, through exploring or creating realities and interacting with the beings there and continually refining my awarenesses into language that can be relevent to others.

Thank you Savodonger, you nailed it. Good ideas and glad to know I’m not alone in this. And yes, I am the type that has to constantly be doing something creative or I feel like I’m going to explode from boredom. I can’t simply relax and watch tv as others tell me to do all the time, I have to be doing something with my hands and mind while watching tv like drawing or working on my online stores. I can pay attention to both at once so it’s not a problem because I am so fast paced that one task does not distract me from the other, I simply balance both tasks at once.

Sometimes my spontaneity gets me in trouble or causes me to take on too many tasks at one time because I cannot be happy with just one task that I focus on 24/7 I have to constantly be juggling like 6 different hobbies. This is the reason I’m on ADHD meds because my minds constant need for energy and preoccupation leaves me with racing thoughts and feeling bored very quickly. but when I have accomplished a goal, yes I am very proud and happy that I finally reached that goal but my mind says okay find something else to do now and currently I’m at a point where I have obtained all current goals I desired so I’m like uh, okay what else is there to do? I have what I need and want so it’s like you said, I see no reason to do magick just for the sake of doing it with no end goals in mind.

I’ve got enough to start building my house now but with cold weather already here off and on, I will have to wait until spring to start building but once it’s completed and I move in, then I will have other goals like obtaining really nice furnishings and home goods from reputable furniture dealers as opposed to that cheap strand board crap from walmart, and I will also have major business goals.

I want to expand my online stores to have massive inventories like 5,000 items per store because what I currently have is nothing small and I do very well so I know if I expand I can do even better, but once I can move in and no longer to have to save every month for building materials I plan on spending that money to expand my business with more products and a bigger budget for ad campaigns, but until then there’s no need to work towards those goals because I can’t achieve them yet if all of my money is going towards building supplies and besides I’m staying at my mom’s so if I did use some of my income to go ahead and expand right now, she’d flip the fuck out on me if I suddenly had 50 boxes of merchandise delivered here because I have my room loaded full of inventory bins such as it is so she would not be happy if I suddenly loaded her garage full too.