I’m an adult, and so is he. We were in a relationship of a few months, and I felt like I was ready, although I always told myself I wanted to wait for a while. Kind of stupidly I felt really drawn to him and thought we’d always be together, but he’s been gone for about two months now as he wasn’t ready for a relationship due to his depression and upcoming battles in court over him being sexually abused as a child. I’ve messaged him a few times (nothing desperate, just to see how he is) but he’s acting so horrible and bitter and cold towards me and I have no idea why. I feel sick that I’ve lost a “status” that belonged to me. I feel like I’ve betrayed myself over something I said I’d always wait for. I know this isn’t a relationship advice forum or anything, that’s not what I’m asking for, but any advice over any spirits or any works that could help me get over something that shouldn’t even matter would be appreciated.
Sorry that happened to you. He sounds like a douchebag. Sorry that may sound harsh but that’s what I feel very strongly. Some people act “weak” so we get the feeling we need to “save” them and pour endless patience, understanding and love in them. Perpetual victims. Black holes. As soon as you pull away he probably come running back. We all go through shit in life, doesn’t make it okay to go around and hurt people. Look up doing a cord cutting ceremony and move on with your life.
Never feel bad about having standards or boundaries, there will be many people testing them during your life.
I think virginity and ‘losing it’ (which I think is wrongly worded already) is something one can always think should’ve happened differently. As long as you were not pressured into it and it happened with your consent, is most important.
What you could do now is gain some clarity over your feelings and this situation.
I’d start with meditation and cleansing yourself from this experience, so it would not define you as it is doing now based on what you’re telling.
I do candle cleanses and also herbal baths / showers to get rid of negative energy, but theres surely some great demons to help you out too.
While I normally am the one who suggests a curse or two with childlike glee, in this case, I would agree with a cord cutting ceremony. I am sorry this happened to you. There are disappointing individuals out there in the world, best to move on and work on yourself. As far as spirits go, Belial comes to mind as well as Buer.
Thanks so much, I really appreciate you replying to this. I know you’re right, I’d just feel bad cutting contact as he said there’s something going on that’s causing him to act cold but since he’s not telling me, fine! I refuse to act like a teenager in love… Thank you for your suggestion, I will find a cord cutting remedy.
Thank you so much for your kindness Romina. I really appreciate it. I will do some meditations and cleansing over it, I know it sounds silly but I really didn’t think of that!
You could also try reaching out to spirits with love healing and relationship associations because damn dealing with the emotional pain of that kind of thing sucks!
So here’s some spirits off the top of my head
Hermes - Boundaries
Raphael- Healing
Apollo/ Abaddon- Healing/Destruction
(Actually he might be the most perfect fit could help you destroy energetic ties and heal you from the emotional pain at the same time)
Perhaps a love goddess/god (there’s soo many out there I’m sure a google search will lead you to a lot of options)
I regretted my first time too but it gets easier with time. You tried to be open and trust someone and there’s nothing wrong with that
And yes cord cutting definitely. I practiced this as well after my first fiasco
Freya can be a good option going into Norse. Being the literal goddess of beauty and love while also a Lady of the Slain(it is said she collects the other half of war dead next to Odin) makes her useful for healing from this encounter while preparing you for better experiences and guarding against manipulation.
I’m sorry your going through what your going through. To be honest I dont think he’s intentionally trying to act that way towards you, as a victim of child abuse myself, I know exactly whats going through his head. He probably is carrying alot of pain with him, but that pain also comes with anger and rage. That could lead someone to taking their pain out on someone else. I’d just give him some time to pick himself up, the best thing you can do for him now is be there when he’s ready for you.
As far as regreting losing your virginty, don’t regret it. It may have not been “magickal” like most people make it out to be, but at least it was consensual. Some people are raped, molested. They didn’t have a choice. That regret will go away in time. Just gotta keep on swimming in this fucked up reality we call life
The main reason for his coldness towards you is certainly vibrational, first and foremost. Your frequency right now differs a lot from his, due to the pain, rage, bitterness, etc that he’s feeling. His emotions are clouding his perceptions. Not his fault, really, and it’s not yours. This is something he needs to deal with in his own time and space.
You can work with Archangel Michael for cord cutting too. Bear in mind, the healthy cords aren’t cut. Only the unhealthy ones are.
You might find Angels of Alchemy helpful too. But you need to read in between the lines with that grimoire.
Thank you so much, that was very comforting. I never thought of it that way and I feel quite selfish now. At the minute I just want to move on from him but I don’t want to upset him by unfriending him, etc. I will be there for him when he’s ready but looking at his name in my accounts on my phone every day really isn’t helping right now. I’m sorry about your childhood and I think it’s lovely you’re able to talk about it and give me advice. Thank you.
