Queenofpeace's Journey Journal

[queenofpeace]

I’ve been taking another break from practicing lately. Its gotten cold and me and a lot of my friends have come down with winter colds. Resting and keeping my health up has been my top priority during this busy season.

Vassago sent me a message in an otherwise mundane dream last night.

I dreamt that me and a friend were shopping at a thrift store together. However, some things in the store had ridiculously high prices that werent justifiable. Even random, shabby things had high dollar tags.

There was a simple black 8x10 frame on a shelf. In the frame was a matted jigsaw puzzle. The puzzle was completed, and the image was the tarot card of The Tower. The Tower was on fire like a torch, but not destroyed and there were no bodies falling from it. Walking forward from The Tower was the woman from the Strength card. In her right hand, she held aloft a wand that was lit like a torch to light the way. In her left hand, she held a leash. Beside her walked the lion, calm and tamed and on the leash. She walked forward with dignity and strength, like a woman on a mission.

The price tag on the frame was $3,333.33.

Even in the dream, I knew I couldn’t afford it, but I also couldn’t put it back on the shelf. So, I had it in my shopping cart and was walking around trying to figure out what I was going to do. Suddenly, a group of people entered the store to do a viral video, and they told everyone to stop in their tracks. That they would go from cart to cart and, once they find the person with the most expensive items in their cart, they will gift them that to the person. I was certain that nobody had a more expensive cart than mine, and sure enough, I won the challenge.

There was so much symbolism in this dream. The fact that I was confident and so assured that I would win the contest, even though I had no reason to believe that by default.

The fact that the image was, in fact, a finished and framed jigsaw puzzle is a symbol of completion. Time and effort was put into completing the puzzle and it was expertly framed with care. Something that a lot of work has gone into has now been completed. And it was gifted to me.

The tarot image itself is The Tower (Vassago) and the woman (me). The Tower is not destroyed and stands strong and protective behind me in the darkness. It’s flames surround me with light as I journey forward into the darkness with confidence and power. Like a young traveler leaving home for the first time. The torch was lit by the flames of The Tower and now gives my footsteps guidance going forward. The lion is the issue which I brought to The Tower (Vassago) when we made our pact. I now walk away from The Tower with the tamed lion as my docile ally. Victorious.

Today, while ringing up a transaction at work, the total came up to $33.33.

Mighty Prince Vassago, I thank you for all you have done for me.

[queenofpeace]

I am making a note of this for the future… 2024 is the year in which the clouds of abundance have opened up and are showering me in all ways.

On the first day of the year, I had a cleansing, and I asked Lilith to wash away all negative energy from my body and soul. To protect me from negative people and negative energy. To fill me with dark goddess energy, that feminine mystique that makes people drawn to you and want to know more about you.

My heart is overwhelmed and full to bursting with love and gratitude. Everything that I truly want has been made mine.

First, in the dead of winter, I have been gifted the opportunity to go on an amazing tropical beach vacation. The reward of hard work paying off and a job well done. So many adventures and experiences will be had!

Then, I was headhunted by an office that spent many months trying to convince me to change jobs. They praised me more than anyone else has ever praised my abilities. Met and exceeded each one of my demands. I will be starting the year with a powerful job, higher pay, and all the amenities to make my life comfortable for a very long time.

I have had more men than usual try to flirt with me. Old, old acquaintances add me to Facebook. Female friends wanting to go on trips and adventures later this year. Old boyfriends trying to circle back.

Looking back, I have only had a few experiences with Lilith, but they have all been intense and more powerful than any other entity. She holds such immense power and capabilites. She is the only one so far who has been able to take me out of my body to new places. And when she rewards you, she rewards you just as intensely.

I am humbled before Lilith and before myself. I have been shown how to truly love and take care of myself through Her.

This is the only way that I can think to describe this new happiness. It is unlike any feeling I have ever had before. My head and shoulders are bowed down in gratitude and love, weighed down heavily by the weight of all the gifts given to me. Immense happiness carries an intense weight. But it is not a bad feeling. Instead, it is like a warm, welcome embrace.

Receiving Lilith’s praise and rewards are like being wrapped tightly in heavy gold robes as a shower of gold coins rains down all around you.

[queenofpeace]

I have recently come back from my vacation. I had so much fun and ticked a few amazing things off of my bucket list. It was a trip that I will always remember!

On the first full day there, we took a bus to a rainforest hike. While walking to the pick-up spot, we saw lots of beautiful graffiti artwork of all styles everywhere we turned. It got me to thinking about Lilith and I wondered if there was any graffiti on the island dedicated to her.

The bus driver was zooming up the highway to take us out of town to our hike. We’re talk 80-85mph the whole way. Bump roads. Very uncomfortable ride. As a distraction, I’m looking out the window at all the places zooming past. We come up to a stop light and there’s a massive white building to our left. On that building is a huge painting of a beautiful, dark haired woman, dressed in red and white black horns. I gasped and said “Lilith!” under my breath. But the bus pulled off quickly, and just like that, the painting was gone.

We had a grueling hike in the rainforest that was almost 6 miles round trip. The forsst was just as gorgeous as described but the hike was far more intense than they said online. It was muddy and the terrain was mostly uphill. There were several spots when I thought there was no way I would make it. Then we reached the top.

The views were simply breathtaking. Spectacular. We swam in crystal clear streams. Dived off of massive rock formations into deeper, colder pools. I picked a rock to rest on with my feet in the water. Small fish nibbled at my feet and ankles. When I looked up to the sunshine, I was sitting directly underneath a family of spiders with their webs high up in the branches. The entire trip we had not seen even a single spider or insect, and here I was sitting directly under them. I smiled and my energy felt restored. It was protection. Lilith.

And the birds. My entire trip, I was befriended by little black birds. They would land right next to me, or on my chair, and sing to me. I would feed them little scraps of bread or chips. My friend was constantly fussing about the birds. I think she was jealous because they didn’t come up to her at all. I felt like a witchy Cinderella.

I woke up towards the end of the trip with a very strong urge pulling me to buy a new tarot deck while I was in town. I found a shop further into town. I bought two new decks (including my first Lenormand deck), a gorgeous purple amethyst necklace and one made of shimmering opalite. On another shelf, I found a deck of “message” cards just like what I have been looking to add to my tarot readings. The first card in the deck said:

My 2024 resolution was to adventure more, starting with this trip. I’m claiming this as a good omen.

I also bought a fantastic hardshell clutch purse with large third eye on the front that matches my tattoo. I feel compelled to turn it into the travel altar that I have been wanting for a long time, and will be filling it full of what I need. I have sewn a black velvet bag to keep it in so that it doesn’t get scratched. It is the perfect box for my altar. And I would have missed it if my friend hadn’t pointed it out to me.

The flight home was in wet, windy weather as we got closer to home. A lot of turbulence. But I didn’t stress it because, two seats in front of me, the sunshine created a rainbow that stretched across the ceiling of the cabin. The rainbow stayed there, in one form or another, until we landed.

This week, back at home, was my final week at my old job. My job wasn’t being very kind to me since I gave my notice. I was being bullied and being given a lot of backhanded comments. My new job was so good that my old job was trying to scare me into thinking it was a fake offer. So, I had decided while I was away that I would save myself the stress and shorten my notice. Because I did that and left four days early, I was treated very negatively and ended up having to speak up for and defend myself before I left for good.

Immediately after getting home, my anxiety kicked in and I felt guilty for choosing myself and for my exit ending up so messy. I was lying down on the sofa, feeling a little down, and one of my cats knocked a pair of fingernail clippers into the little crack between the armrest and the cushion. I reached in to grab it, and to my great shock, pulled out card of 5 of Pentacles reversed. At some point it fell out of my occult tarot deck. But its message was loud and clear, I have left these hardships behind and I am entering a new, safer place that values me.

In other, unrelated news, I definitely have a very real and very sexual spirit connected to me. But only inside my home. To be clear, at the beginning of the year I asked Lilith to send me a sexual entity, so I don’t believe that this is a random spirit. This entity is possibly an incubus, or perhaps there is more than one. This spirit thrives on giving me pleasure. When I am at home on my own, it frequently tries to give me oral and finger me. It’s not pushy and stops if I want it to. But when I choose to give in, I am sent visions of being penetrated not by demons or humans, but by a wand or wands. The wands from a tarot deck. Shortly afterwards, something I have manifested comes true for me. I find myself having to be cautious and limiting myself, because the spiritual sex is absolutely amazing and intoxicating and the reinforcement of being given whatever I want afterward is very addictive.

[queenofpeace]

So… more on the incubus I mentioned earlier. I did a divination last night and according to it, the spirit is not an incubus nor was it sent by Lilith. Vassago’s divination said that it was his doing, and that this is part of the pact/contract that we made.

The wands imagery that comes to me is of course phallic and sexual, but also represents the swiftness and quick action that will make my desires come true.

And it is true. With very fast results. Yesterday, I engaged in a ritual. I desired to make conversation easier between me and a man I’m attracted to. He’s very nice and we gef along, but we only have a few things in common so far, and it’s been hard for me to find topics of conversation to bring up. Tonight, I just spent the last two hours chatting with him online and genuinely breaking the ice. Lots of laughs and lots of flirting.

My last handful of divinations with Vassago have been about a serious issue with two people in my friend group that have brought in a lot of problems and drama. For the last few sessions, I keep being sent Leraje’s card. A stalker card. I also asked and clarified that Leraje was being recommended to me as a way to make these two turn on each other and break up, thereby dealing with their own issues and leaving the rest of us alone.

Tonight, I channeled Vassago first, since he keeps sending me Leraje’s card. I then gazed at Leraje’s sigil and asked Vassago to help me connect with Leraje. When I felt connected, I read my petition letter to Leraje three times.

I lit a red chime candle and two green birthday candles. What happened next was so insane. I folded the petition really small and lit it on fire using the red chime candle. I found myself repeatedly chanting under my breath, “Please help us, Marquis Leraje,” over and over again.

The petition caught fire and was engulfed. The chime candle burned through the middle and the wax seemed to just evaporate. The wick, the paper, and what was left of the birthday candles, were burning so rapidly.

But the fire just kept burning and the flame was too big. I was afraid it would set off the apartment sprinkler system. I put moon water on it, trying to douse it. It didn’t go out! That one tiny piece of paper had the whole bowl lit and when I tried to douse it, all it did was sparkle and pop and hiss. I grabbed the whole bowl and shoved it in the oven with the exhaust fan running. At this point, I thought for sure it would burn itself out. It kept burning!

The smell of smoke is starting to get worse and I’m really starting to worry at this point. So, out loud I said, “Thank you, Marquis Leraje!” I grabbed my bottle of water off the kitchen counter and flooded the bowl full of water and finally the flame went out.

The paper was only halfway burned and fully encased in a wax coating. I took what was left outside and threw it away.

That tiny piece of paper would ordinarily have burned up faster and with a lot less flame than that.

[queenofpeace]

It is intoxicating and addicting to keep seeing your spells come to fruition. Your petitions granted and your wishes fulfilled. Like being at a carnival and your ball knocks down the glass bottles… 1, 2, 3. One right after another.

I am beyond grateful for my goddess, Lilith. For the pact that I have made with Vassago. For the fact that Vassago repeatedly called upon me to make a connection to Marquis Leraje.

The request to help strengthen communication between myself and the guy I’m getting to know was answered beyond my wildest dreams. It wasnt just a wish fulfillment. Divination with Vassago told me that the way to foster our connection was through teamwork. So, I’ve been focusing harder on teamwork in our activities group. And, with a little boost from Vassago, this man’s interest in me has grown and our conversations have really taken off. We have a dates night coming up soon.

Marquis Leraje is swift and exacting in their wrath. Leraje is wreaking havoc already on the two people I asked for assistance with. The chaos that they have been causing all around them is finally coming back on them. Leraje is using them like a mirror. What they do comes back at them.

Everything’s rosy and lovely on my path. Never been better.

[queenofpeace]

I’ve made posts about being blocked sexually. And how, for a long span of several months, I was kept from having any sort of intimate relationship with any person. I was told by Vassago that there was a reason for it, and that it was unbreakable, and that the path couldn’t be changed.

So, for a while after I began being visited by a very sexual entity, I was afraid that this message had been given to me by an obsessor spirit or jealous entity that wanted to close me off so that they could feed off of my sexual energy. Even though I had been shown many times that this was part of my pact with Vassago, it was hard not to have a little doubt and worry.

However, during this time, my sex magick has become stronger than ever. It is like I am plugged directly into the universe. Like playing a game with cheat codes. Everything I have asked for has been delivered within days of asking.

I am more powerful. More level-headed. Empowered. Fully in my divine feminine energy. Empress energy.

It has been mentioned to me by many people that there is something different radiating about me. Every man I know is practically falling over trying to do things for me, compliment me, approach me, etc. A few women as well.

On Friday, I discovered that the block was for good reason. The man I have been getting to know is not just kind hearted and caring. He’s rational and intelligent. He’s funny and honest and communicative. He matches me sexually in every way. I have been a great opportunity to be with an amazing human being.

[queenofpeace]

Nothing much to report as of now. Things have been peaceful and calm. I am so very happy. The abundance is ever flowing and I so thankful for it

I woke up to a rainy morning on Monday. On the drive to work, I started to think about how long it had been since I had seen a rainbow. How nice it would be to see one that day.

After work, I was driving home and rounded the street to my apartment building… and there it was. Floating right over my building and appearing to pour right into it. A rainbow.

I squealed like a child.

I am seeing two people right now. They are two completely different souls. One is mild and sweet and gentle. The other one is aloof and very dominant. One soothes, the other burns me up. Ying and yang. Sweet and spicy. The best of both worlds.

I have never felt more alive and more confident. It is a warm feeling, like being wrapped in a warm blanket on a chilly day. Security. Alignment. Harmony.

[queenofpeace]

I’ve taken a long break from the LHP because of how good my life has gotten lately. Not much of anything except for doing my own weekly readings and some readings for friends.

I finally feel like the cord cutting, hex break, and other workings I have done recently are starting to work. I have had much fewer interactions or accidental path crossings with my ex. His path of self-destruction continues as my star continues to rise.

All is well and I am thankful for the abundance that continues to flow in my favor.

[queenofpeace]

New issues, new rituals. Back to practicing again.

I tried a couple of things this weekend to work on my own energy. Purifying and restoring it ahead of a hectic schedule for the next couple of months. Saturday night, I did a guided meditation to work on releasing stored trauma. It was mostly successful and, I think if I can make time to do this once a week, then it will be a great help for me.

There is something very spiritual and activating about water to me. Sunday night, I submerged myself in a warm bath, and I felt so much stronger energetically. It was as though I could make an immediate connection in my mind’s eye.

I did an evocation of Vassago, Andromalius, Glasya-Labolas, Andras, Furfur, and King Paimon. I humbly asked them to assist me in breaking down the narcissist that has damaged my peer group and is abusing and manipulating my ex.

At one point, I asked that they take from me the anger and the rage from within me and put it onto them as part of their destruction.

Immediately, I had a vision of a massive curved spike made of bone, and shaped like a creature’s nail or talon, being removed from the center of my chest. The pain was so real that I wrenched and cried in agony. I felt the pain as it was pulled several times until it slid out. I lay in the water for a moment, stunned and both hands gripping my chest. It felt just like I was bleeding out.

I have felt an eerie calm ever since. The anxiety and balled up tension at the center of my chest is gone. And it phsyically feels strange. It actually FEELS like a real, gaping wound that is hollow and empty and starting to heal.

I don’t know which entity did the removal, but I am grateful. And I thank them all for hearing my request.

[queenofpeace]

It is hard to believe that I haven’t posted here in so long. Things got so busy and complicated in the mundane world that a lot of things fell by the wayside.

I haven’t accomplished any spellwork or contact with any entities since my last posts here. The combination of being extremely busy and also being put on medication for depression and anxiety have left me feeling burned out, drained, and blocked. It is something I am beginning to work on now and hope to reverse.

My ex and I have not spoken since around May. He is still publicly with his narcissistic girlfriend, but is still not divorced and is still spending a lot of time at his “ex” wife’s house behind her back. Things came to a head when we were at an event. He cornered me in a booth alone and groped me inappropriately.

I dated a lovely man for about 4 months, but we weren’t fundamentally compatible and mutually we agreed to end it. He showed me how I want to be treated by men in the future. It’s a shame that someone can be SO CLOSE to what you want and yet still not be the one for you.

My ex continued to approach me every time he saw me. He looked crushed and seemed to wilt when he saw me with another man. After, about half a dozen more instances where he “accidentally” ran into me in public.

In June, he tried to follow me into a building and I literally ran away from him. I sent him an email that night and told him very firmly to stay away from me and to stop approaching me. I’ve seen him twice since and he has done what I asked but stares at me angrily.

Some of my spellwork was successful in getting the narcissist away from our group. Some did not. The two most successful spells were the hot foot powder and also a spell to expose her as a fraud. The hot foot powder did its work gradually. Each time she crossed the threshold, she spent less and less time in our group. She grossly mismanaged a project so badly that half the group members bailed and eventually it was taken away from her. Broke every rule in her contract in such a way that all the future contracts had to be re-written with the assistance of an attorney. Eventually, she was no longer asked back to things.

The one thing with the hot foot powder that did not work was that I had expressly stated that I wanted her to go and to not take my ex with her. He needs to break up with her and focus on his children. That did not happen, however, I now feel like that was done to protect me. After he escalated to the point of groping me while she was in the same building, I was done with trying to help him in any way. He is a lost soul and there’s nothing anyone else can do for him. He has to want the help and want to change and he does not. I feel so sorry for his children.

I did back to back projects with the group without stopping, until a family emergency recently pulled me away. I was blessed to be able to take an amazing 2nd vacation for my birthday. It was my first overseas adventure.

So, from here forward, my focus is on restoring my energy, recovering from exhaustion and burn out, and gradually reconnecting with entities and doing spellwork again. Winter is approaching and I plan to re-shift the focus. It’s time to take care of myself.

[queenofpeace]

On November 30, I was surprised by a visit from a wonderful male friend that I habe known for almost 7 years online. He drove many hours just to take me out to lunch. We talked for almost four hours… so long that the waitress basically kicked us out. The moment we met, I felt like I was right at home. No nervousness. No bells or alarms. Just peace.

On December 1, I meditated and created an affirmation spell bowl for the coming year. I wrote down all the keywords and positive emotions that I wanted to receive in the coming year. In the bowl, I arrange rice, pink salt, pumpkin seeds, dried chrysanthemums, dried roses, and sugar cubes. At the center were a pink candle for love and a yellow candle for joy. As the candles burned down, I called out to Vassago, my beloved favorite, and Lilith, spirit mother. I meditated on each and thanked them for all they have done for me in the past. I read the words I wished to receive for 2025 and asked them to continue guiding me in the future. I placed the folded note deep into the spell bowl.

As the candles burned down, I asked Vassago, the truth bringer, to reveal to me the true feelings of the wonderful man who came to visit. Vassago brings shadows to the light, a revealer of the unknown, and a bringer of wisdom.

The next evening, this man messaged me and confessed that he had been in love with me for the past 6 or 7 years, that there was no one else that he had ever considered, and that he would do whatever it takes to make a long distance relationship work for us… if I was open to trying.

The night I got that message, I did a dance in my kitchen and cried with joy. I confessed to him that I had always been attracted to him, but had always been afraid to say anything because of the distance. We talked for a very long time about it, and we agreed to try for each other.

We have been in constant contact since, and I am just over the moon happy. He is intelligent, mature, gentle and kind… and handsome. He’s so secure and such a rock, whereas I tend to be like the wind. He plans dates and asks for my feedback. We collaborate.

I am sewing him a blanket to give him for Valentine’s Day… and I am going to sew one each of the rosebuds and the chrysanthemums, from my affirmation spell bowl, into one of the corners.

2:22 here on the clock.

[queenofpeace]

There is a malevolent energy in my best friend’s home that she’s lived in for about four years.

My best friend is going through a rough time after ending an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship with a toxic person. There has been a lot of anger, lots of yelling and aggression, from both sides.

A few weeks ago, I went to her house for dinner and we planned on me staying the night after I had too many drinks. It was the first time I ever stayed over and I slept in the guest room.

That night I had a terribly vivid and extremely violent dream. It was the old times, back when people were being burned for witchcraft. A friend’s boyfriend had beaten her to death, a violent beating that had left marks and blood all over her face and body. But, because he was a man and knew people in their town, nobody would believe me when I accused him of being her killer. He smirked and smiled, and at one point even tried to put hands on me. Eventually, he accused me of witchcraft and of killing my friend and making it look like she was beaten. I woke up just as the townspeople were dragging me into a tower and locking me away.

I woke up in a panicked sweat.

Two weeks later, I was staying at her house again. This time we had planned for me to stay over in advance so that we could stay up late and watch movies. We did face, hand and feet masks and were pampering ourselves. We went to bed at around 1am.

In the night, I was awakened, only to realize that I was floating around my body. Still attached to it, but not quite inside of it. A case of accidental astral projection. However, I was distinctly not alone. There was an entity manipulating my physical body. It felt like my astral self was holding down my physical self, and fighting with this third entity, trying to get it to stop and leave my body alone.

It raised my hand high, and astral me was pleading and begging for it to stop, but it brushed me aside and ignored me. It was laughing and grinning as it aggressively shoved my physical hand between my legs and forced my physical body to masturbate. But it was extremely violent and hurt. My whole physical body was straining against this entity, trying to get away but not able to.

I could feel everything, while also being disconnected and seeing everything from above me. My physical mouth opened and shut, voiceless, but distorted in a grimace and trying to say no. Trying to say stop. My physical eyes looked around frantically and desperately.

My astral self asked loudly, “What are you???” And the big bold letters"Succubus" flashed in my mind’s eye. I asked for its name and was given, “Oriol”, very specifically. It cared not whether I wanted it to stay or go, it ignored my protests. It ignored my astral self trying desperately to push it away and take my body back. I don’t know how long the process took. But I blacked out after the third or fourth forced orgasm.

Later in the morning, I woke up and the sun was up. I felt worse than I have felt in a long time. Completely drained of all energy. That sort of empty, drained feeling you get when you’ve been sick or dehydrated for a long time. After we went out to breakfast, I drove home. I dropped onto my sofa and crashed, sleeping for about 6 hours straight. It took two more days for me to feel like myself again.

We were talking about sleep at breakfast, and I asked my friend if she was sleeping well. She said that she has never had worse sleep than the sleep she gets in her house. That she rarely sleeps because she has a lot of nightmares. The look on her face told me a lot.

The next time I go there, I am planning on attempting a banishment.