Queenofpeace's Journey Journal

[queenofpeace]

I’m starting this journal to document my journey. I am very new and want to keep a record of everything that happens on this path of awakening I am taking.

It started just like I imagine it happens for a lot of people. I am currently in a difficult situation that I never expected to be in. I met a man who was going through a legal separation and had filed for divorce. Neither of us were looking to meet someone when we did. We became inseparable over the course of seven months, and the list of our compatibilities was miles long. It felt perfect, like home. We were so happy and had established a timeline for how we would continue to progress our relationship while simultaneously giving him plenty of time on his own to process things post-divorce.

And then the worst happened. His abusive wife pulled a legal stunt in court that got the divorce moved out to the end of the year. It was like he went into panic mode. He agreed to try to reconcile during this expanded time before I knew it. Because he agreed to try reconciliation, the court ended their legal separation until the next court date at the end of the year. He had to end things with me because of that. He withdrew from me quickly. He handled it very badly. I have tried to forgive him for that, because he’s been physically and emotionally beaten down by this woman for years, is avoidant, and is terrified of confrontation.

It’s an awkward situation the whole way around. We are no longer in contact because they’re together and also because he handled things so badly. He hurt me and disrespected me in the process, and we both know this. We have to see each other multiple times a week but we no longer speak.

I obviously want to work things out and eventually be with him. But, even if he never comes back to me, I still feel like I need to do anything I can to help him get free from this woman’s control. She has done some truly horrible things to him. Things that would land a man in jail or with prison time if the roles were reversed. Now she has a chance to manipulate him into dropping the divorce all together.

Early on, I tried a few spells. The lemon break up spell. A break up spell with salt and alcohol. I had a coven perform a combination break up/love spell over the course of several weeks. My own spells had no effect, but I saw a little movement from theirs.

I started therapy at the same time to help myself process. My therapist is amazing, supportive and is a big believer in meditation. Meditation has truly been amazing and has helped me with my anxiety, having more energy, and reconnecting with myself again.

I found an ebook on the Goetic demons not long after I began practicing meditation. It was like a light switch moment. Like I was following a path. I was drawn to learn as much about them as I can.

This forum came up a few weeks later along with the layered love spell. I have decided to try it and will document my results.

[queenofpeace]

On Tueday (5/16), the coven performed a “think of me” spell combined with a banishing spell to separate them. The ritual was done again on May 19th and will be performed twice more in June. The next day, Wednesday (5/17), I saw proof on social media that there was already tension brewing between them.

On Saturday (5/20), I made my first attempt to summon a demon to aid me. I waited until night and then lit candles. I lit one green candle and one red, and gave an offering of freshly grated lemon zest. I chanted the enn of Leraje and played it on a loop in the background as I gazed at Leraje’s sigil. I started to feel chills and my arms and upper torso began to spasms. I asked Leraje to intercede on my behalf, and (amongst other things) to cause conflict between the two by exposing their relationship for what it truthfully is… abuse. To fuel discord between them but to cause no physical or bodily harm to any party involved.

I could not hear Leraje speak. The next morning, I found a small black feather on the pillow under my head. I saw proof of results through social media on Tuesday (5/23). I offer Leraje my sincerest gratitude for aiding me.

[queenofpeace]

On the afternoon of 5/23, I made contact with Belial. I sat in a chair in the sunlight and played the enn in the background as I chanted. At first, I felt chills and tingles through my body. And then I felt a strong pressure on my neck and shoulders, pushing my head down deeply into a bowing position. No matter how I tried I could not lift my head. I spoke to Belial and asked him to remove any negative thoughts, doubts, or blockages from the mind of the person I love. To have my lover remember our good times and think of me often. I could not hear Belial speak. I thanked him for listening to my request and sent him away.

Immediately after I sent him away, I could lift my head again. My neck hurt and I had a headache at the base of my head.

I had an appointment to make and so I left Immediately after that. While I was gone, there was a power surge/outage at my apartment building. When I got home, the outage had only tripped the breaker switch in the room where I had done my summoning.

Many thanks to Belial for aiding me.

[queenofpeace]

Wednesday (5/24) was the night I contacted Sallos. I changed methods this time since I am not yet able to visualize or hear them yet. I decided to utilize the petition tutorial on this forum.

I lit candles and played the enn in the background as I chanted. I had to chant much longer than I did with others and had decided to give up. The moment I thought about stopping, a sensation swept through my body, it was like a strong and passionate desire, and gave me an overwhelming urge to pleasure myself.

Instead, I read my petition to Sallos nine times. Afterwards, I thanked him and pleasured myself as he wanted.

In my petition, one of the things I asked was for my love to apologize to me within a certain time frame. I also asked Sallos to come to me in a dream soon so that I would know he was helping me.

On Thursday (5/25) night, I had a dream and in it my love brought me food. He was apologizing a lot and said it wasn’t enough and that he wished he could give me something better to show me how much I mean to him. I told him that having him with me was the only gift I needed. Then I woke up.

Sallos is wonderful and I am so grateful for his aid.

[queenofpeace]

Friday (5/26) was the night I made a petition to Dantalion. Like the others, I put the enn on in the background as I chanted. I really had difficulty trying to reach Dantalion. That was my fault, as I was already very tired and had a terrible headache all day long. I could feel energy in the room but not very strong.

This time, I wrote the petition on green colored paper and drew Dantalion’s sigil on the back. I had a photo of my love and drew the sigil on the back of it as well. I smeared a drop of blood on each sigil.

I was afraid that the delicate connection would break if I didn’t move quickly and so I quickly read my petition to Dantalion. At the end, I burned the paper and the photo using a green candle I had offered him.

Like Sallos, I asked Dantalion to send me a dream to show me he was working with me. So far this has not happened, but I am optimistic, and the time frame on this request was pretty far out.

I thank Dantalion for his aid.

[queenofpeace]

Monday (5/29) was a total game changer. Where do I begin! This was the night I contacted Sitri.

I was feeling frustrated because I wasn’t making any progress on visualizing or hearing the demons that I tried to contact. So, this time, I ate an edible about an hour before starting. I wanted to try marijuana while doing this to see if it would help me make a better connection. I would say that I was as high as I typically get, but not drastically or dangerously so.

As before, I put the enn on in the background as I chanted. I had lit candles and offered him cinnamon and a blue candle. I wrote my petition on blue paper with blue ink. I drew Sitri’s sigil and enn on the back of both the petition and a photo of my love.

All I can say is… wow. I am still stunned today.

As I chanted, my head fell forward and my hands were gripping the sides of the table in front of me as hard as I could. I could not raise my head and or remove my hands. My whole body shook roughly for a while.

In my head, there appeared a vision of me on my knees gazing up at the type of man I have always secretly desired. A beautiful, strong, sexually dominant man.

I realized that my hands at some point released their grip on the table and were rubbing my legs. I was sitting cross-legged and massaging them up and down.

I had a feeling where that was going, and so I forced my head up and read my petition. I struggled to keep my head up and had trouble focusing or saying the words, but I read the petition nine times. The glowing candle made the sigil of Sitri shine through the paper and I could see it on the face of my love’s photo.

After reading it, I stood up and I felt compelled to untie my robe. I did so, and I sat back naked in my chair. My mind was flooded with comments about me… such as my body was beautiful. That I deserved to be handled by a much more experienced lover. I felt amazing, desirable, and just strong and in my full power as a woman. As someone who has struggled with self esteem my entire life, these are not the type of thoughts I would typically have about myself.

What happened after that was what I can only describe as the wildest, most amazing sexual experience of my life. A series of the most intense orgasms I have ever had. I lost count at six. Hands-free on my part.

At one point, I looked up and the ceiling was gone. Above me was an eye. Around that eye was a royal blue haze. Around the edges of the haze was a starbust pattern in a shimmering rainbow of colors. On top of the eye was a pentagram in rainbow colors.

I finished the session and snuffed out the candles. I lay on my sofa, completely exhausted, trying to catch my second wind. Then, I decided to go to bed even though it was only 9 o’clock.

In bed, I felt the muscle spasms and the tingling begin again. Like fingers poking me in the legs. It was as though I were being told to turn over. I refused and said no, not again, not until you bring me XYZ (my love’s name).

It was at this point that Sitri began to taunt me. He sent me visions of my previous lover rather than my love. He laughed and said that he liked this one better because he was kinkier. He said “give me what I want.” In my head, I refused and said, “Bring me XYZ. Leave me and do as I asked.” And then my mind was flooded with visions of my love. But then Sitri would switch it back to memories of my previous lover. At that point, the lyrics to the old Patrick Swayze song “She’s Like the Wind” started looping in my head:

"Feel her breath in my face
Her body close to me
Can’t look in her eyes
She’s out of my league

Just a fool to believe
I have anything she needs
She’s like the wind"

Sitri kept demanding I give him what he wanted. I believe he wanted to keep having sex over and over again. We went back and forth and I told him not until he brings me what I asked for in my petition. At one point, Sitri asked me to tell him that I loved him and to pledge myself to him. I said no, that I loved XYZ, and I would not pledge myself to anyone else. He left me soon after.

I was in a restless sleep the rest of the night. I woke up sore and exhausted. I’ve had that song stuck in my head all day long.

Ladies, if you want to have sex with a demon, Sitri is definitely the one to call. I understand now why they say it is addictive.

I offer praise to Sitri and thank him for his aid.

[queenofpeace]

Yesterday, I made an attempt to draw the vision of the eye I had the other night. Its impossible to replicate the vibrancy in a drawing. The beams and the pentagram were a constanly shifting, changing rainbow of colors that glowed brightly.

Since connecting with Sitri, two things happened yesterday. I had a random customer at work flirt with me and as part of that he offered to marry me.

I also believe that Sitri sent my previous lover to me this week. We were never in a relationship and were more like FWB. He was the one that Sitri kept taunting me with and telling me he preferred because the sex was kinkier. He contacted me on Wednesday and we reconnected and had a good time last night. Sitri was probably delighted to watch us.

I found a random penny, heads up, on the floor after he left last night.

Last night (5/31) was supposed to be the last piece of the layered love spell. Rosier was to be the last demon summoned. However, my energy was drained and I couldn’t get into the proper headspace or get to the right level of concentration. I will try again tomorrow.

I am curious to know if anyone has experienced a positive change in other aspects of their life while performing rituals. For example, I have not thought of or attempted any rituals to get more money or to change my finances. But money keeps coming to me in the weeks since I’ve started to practice. Not just the penny. I’ve found money I forgot I had in pockets. Found a five dollar bill on the floor of my closet. My mom gifted me a large sum of money. And I just found out this week that I’ll be getting a pay increase.

[queenofpeace]

I have established my altar this evening. Looking forward to using this space tomorrow.

[queenofpeace]

I am seeing results in my target(s). We are in the same theater group. We haven’t spoken since April, except one time in May where I had to speak to him for theater purposes. At this point, he is fully aware that I am not speaking to him and that I am angry with him for how he handled things, the lying, etc.

This past Sunday, we had a zoom rehearsal and he said my name and tried to make a joke at me to get my attention.

Tonight, he saw me as I walked in and started waving. I ignored it, because he wants to just pretend nothing happened rather than actually apologize to me. I waved to our director who was with him, spoke to her, and went inside.

On our break, I turned around and he was staring at me through the window while he was outside having a cigarette. I felt his eyes on me at multiple times throughout the evening.

When we all left, I was on the street corner talking to another cast member. He stood at his car for a while, watching us, and then when he pulled away he honked the horn at us.

His wife posted angry memes on FB again yesterday.

I give all the praise to Leraje, Belial, Sallos, Dantalion, and Sitri.

[queenofpeace]

Yesterday did not go as planned and so I postponed my invoking of Rosier until this afternoon.

I played Rosier’s enn in the background as I chanted it. I began to shake as I started to loosen up. The tingling began in my feet and legs this time. I began to shiver all over my body. But I wasn’t cold. It was a pleasant sensation.

Along with my petition, I had a photo of my love and a photo of her. I drew Rosier’s sigil and wrote the enn beneath it. I had their names on the back of the photos.

I read my petition nine times while holding my love’s photo and covering her’s on the table with my hand. Halfway through the reading my body started shivering and trembling.

In my burning bowl, I burned her photo first, while repeating the part of my petition that dealt with her. Her photo lit up and burned instantly.

I began to feel this sense of impatience and an attitude hanging over me of something like “get on with it.” Not a sense of urgency but of wanting to be finished.

Next, I lit his photo and the corner of the photo burned and went out. I lit it again and the paper lit and went out. Two more times I lit the paper and it went out. It took forever for this one to burn to ash.

Lastly, I started to burn the petition. It took flame quickly but was taking a long time to turn to ash.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, my burning bowl exploded. Tiny shards of glass and ashes go everywhere. One of the large shards continued to burn. I have been burning bits of things in that bowl for at least three years now. I owned it for almost 10 years and it was one of my favorite pieces.

Just two days ago, I warned myself to drape my desk in a fabric so that nothing would damage the wood on the table. Today, it had burning chunks of glass all over it.

Even after the bowl exploded, the petition burned for another two minutes on its glass shard before the flame burned completely out.

I thank Rosier for the dramatic ending to my layered love spell casting.

[queenofpeace]

Tonight, I sat down under a full moon, and consulted my pendulum and board.

I asked a mixture of questions I knew the answers to, and questions about the rituals I have now finished completing.

The pendulum every question I knew the answer to correctly.

I asked, twice and in no order, if each of the demons summoned above had received and answered my petition. It said yes to each one except for Belial and Dantalion. I got a “no” each time for Belial and an “unclear” and a “no” for Dantalion. I’m surprised to receive a “no” about Belial because I truly felt like we connected that day.

I also had very clear “yes” answers each time I asked if Rosier was responsible for the trouble I had burning the photo of my love and also for the bowl breaking as the petition burned.

Overall, I was very satisfied with the answers. I will keep working with Belial and Dantalion to hopefully gain their support and aid.

[queenofpeace]

Last night was another moment of abundance for me. A thrift/antique furniture store down the street is changing ownership and throwing out a bunch of things they haven’t been able to sell. They offered to let me take anything off the truck that I wanted for free. I scored this gorgeous antique mirror that I cannot believe they were going to destroy. I also found two more huge mirrors with solid wood frames, and a bedside table that’s dark colored with an intricate pattern and lined with a blood red felt material.

Tonight, I summoned Glasya-Labolas. I put the chant on in the background. As I chanted the enn, I felt spasms all over my body but kept going deeper. I knew I had broken through once one shoulder raised up and it was as though the other shoulder was weighed down. I sat like a hunchback the entire time. Suddenly, it was as though the cap to all my anger and rage was taken off and it spilled out all through my body. I was seething and could barely speak, and my words came out like an angry hiss as I read my petition three times. At one point, my left hand curled into a claw and scratched her face on the photo as I read the petition. My fingers were pressed against the photo on the table so hard that it damaged the nail bed on my thumb.

I drew his sigil on the back of my petition and on the back of a photo of the woman mentioned in my original post. I will not say what I asked for except to say that I specified no physical harm or death. After I read the petition, I burned the photo and the petition. The flame turned green for a moment as they burned. I thanked the mighty President for listening and coming to my aid before asking him to leave me.

Afterwards, I walked through my apartment with a newly lit white candle. In each room, I asked all spirits and demons to leave and return from whence they came with my love, respect and gratitude. I asked them to also leave my body in the same way at the end. I felt energy shift and drain down my legs and out through my feet. And then I blew out the candle.

I sit here now, watching the last of the President’s candle burn, and feel nothing but calmness.

[queenofpeace]

Praise for yet another day of unexpected abundance.

There was a small sack of jewelry on my desk when I walked in this morning. My very good friend and coworker cleaned out her jewelry box this weekend. She thought of me and knew that I would look good in all of the things in the bag. So she gifted me all of it.

I do not know from whom or where these gifts are being provisioned. I am truly grateful for each and every one of them.

The enn of Sitri came into my head as I was falling asleep last night. My right leg and right arm began to tremble. The whisper of the enn got louder and louder in my head. I was compelled to strip naked and felt fingertips along my thighs, followed by the pressure of penetration between my legs. Aggressive thrusts, and quick, successive orgasms followed until my entire body momentarily froze in a mixture of pain, exhaustion and pleasure. I’ve learned that Sitri will take without asking. But if I ask Sitri to leave me and let me rest then he will do as told. Otherwise, he would just do this over and over again all night long. This is the third time I’ve been visited.

[queenofpeace]

Last night, I used my pendulum again to ask a few more questions. The “unclear” and “no” answers I had previously gotten about Dantalion receiving and answering my petition have now changed to all “yes” answers. I got nothing but “yes” answers as to Glasya-Labolas, and the pendulum told me that I should see results on that petition in two weeks. Still a resounding “no” on Belial.

Not much to write about today. I’ve been taking a break.

Downloaded some new ebooks.

I’ve also gathered a bunch of images because I want to learn how and attempt to create a servitor(s). Making notes about what I want each one to be and do.

For some reason, I have had the name Lucifuge Rofocale in my head. It entered randomly this morning and has kept circling around all day. I assume this means he would like to make contact. And I will indulge that request on another day when I’m not so tired.

[queenofpeace]

I’ve been so busy the last four days that I really had nothing in the way of updates until now.

On Thursday, I adopted two kittens. I wasn’t told that there were zero adoption fees until I had picked them out. Another free gift and one of the best gifts I’ve ever received. The abundance train keeps on rolling in.

Being thrifty, I got a craft board and a precut wood slice from the dollar store and I am using a woodburning tool to customize them into a pendulum board and spirit board. I also bought these wood cubes that I intend to craft into runes. Even though the main intention is to be thrifty, I actually feel like pouring all this energy into crafting these things is making them more special and personalized to me. It feels like this will create a stronger connection for me.

I mentioned in my last post that the name Lucifuge Rofocale kept popping into my head. It stayed in my head until I finally found time to sit down last night and summon him.

The first thing I did last night was get high, since I had such a remarkable interaction with Sitri that way. It really does seem to help me a lot.

I played the enn on Youtube and this time I cast it to my television so that the sigil would be large and I could watch it on the screen. This worked really well. I didn’t even say the enn out loud, just in my head along with the woman chanting on the video.

It didn’t take long. The sigil began to glow blue on the screen. When I closed my eyes, there was a glowing golden eye. Sometimes at the center there was a man’s face. Once it was a black bird. At some point, it was a lion and also a wolf. The word “maybe” came across my vision several times, in exactly the font it’s in on my new pendulum board.

I didn’t ask Lucifuge Rofocale why his name had kept coming up. I couldn’t hear him in my head either. There were lots of different images that ran through very quickly and I can’t remember them all now.

Towards the end, the name Bael swirled around in circles (it was shaped in a circle like it would be around a sigil) and a cat’s head appeared. I have never considered or thought about connecting with Bael before. I was surprised this afternoon to look it up and see that he is a direct subordinate to Lucifuge AND can appear with the head of a cat. I am very curious to make contact with Bael and what I can learn from him.

Shortly afterward, I came out of the trance and couldn’t get it back.

[queenofpeace]

Just a short update during a busy day.

I am starting to see results manifest from my layered love spell.

For the most part, I have been low or no contact with my person since mid-April due to the situation and also how he handled things and hurt me in the process. This includes when we are in the same room with each other.

We saw each other in person three times in the past week. At first, he tried to say hello, which he hasn’t done at all for months. The second time, he overheard a conversation I was having and tried to jump in and say something so that I would HAVE to respond.

Last night, he walked right up to me and asked me a question. Point blank. I answered short and to the point and walked away.

We are in theater together and had to interact to do our lines. He put his hand on my lower back while I gave my lines, even though it’s not on script, and then when we left the stage he hovered around me, trying to make more conversation with me. I continued giving single word answers and moving to put space in between us. He kept closing the gap each time and coming back to me.

He was very excited that he would get an opportunity to tango with me as per the script (I was filling in as understudy). This is something I’m no longer comfortable with given our situation. So I asked the director to change it and she did.

He tries a little harder each time. It started with watching me from across the room and has escalated to this now. He tries to play it cool, but a couple of times his mask has slipped and I could see how much he wants interaction with me again.

[queenofpeace]

Since undertaking this path, I have had two bizarre things happen. One has happened twice in the last two weeks and the other just happened today.

The first is that the numbers on my desk calculator will randomly start printing out completely wrong on the little paper roll. I put in a number, for example the first time it was 129.67, and it would print out 128.69 and the 2 would be messed up like it was set much lower than the other number and only the top half would print. Turning it off and on doesn’t fix it. So, I used my friend’s at her desk. The next day all the numbers printed out perfectly fine on my calculator. Then, it randomly did it again one day last week the same way. And then the next day it went back to normal.

Today, I was on a business trip with a superior and I was driving. I had on Google Maps so that I could find our location. I have used Maps a hundred or more times. I always use it. Today, it randomly says, “I’ve been looking up affirmations, would you like to hear one?” It then starts to talk about how if you treated everyone the way your dog treats you… and I couldn’t hear the rest because my superior was talking. At the end, it played a sound of a dog barking. I have never have any Google app do that before.

I have been visited by several flies since the name Bael was sent to me. My apartment is in a pest controlled building and I don’t keep any food that might draw fruit flies. But last night I had one that hovered around me for hours. I visited my parents yesterday afternoon and they had a huge fly come inside that my mom couldn’t catch. Today, a beautiful green fly with triangular wings made the entire business trip along with us. I helped him get out once we arrived at our destination.

[queenofpeace]

Feeling a little frustrated today. In the past three weeks, I’ve had two decks of tarot cards and a deck of oracle cards go missing in the mail. Each time, they were delivered and disappeared somewhere after that. I’ve reported it to my leasing office and we aren’t sure if the packages are being stolen or if they’ve been delivered to the wrong building.

It’s beginning to feel like something doesn’t want me to have them.

[queenofpeace]

Last night I tried to summon Bael. I believe I was successful, but there were several interruptions from my kittens and also from loud noises by my upstairs neighbor.

I cast the YouTube video of the enn chanting from my phone to the television so that I could gaze at the sigil more comfortably. That worked very well last time and again last night. I was lying down on the sofa for the duration of the experience.

The sigil turned blue and began to glow. When I closed my eyes, it was still there in my mind’s eye. There was a golden glow in the shape of an eye, and the sigil was at the center. The sigil changed shapes. It became the body of a man. A woman with her face looking down and her long hair flowing up towards the sky. Then two people holding hands. Lovers having sex. Also, the scales of justice. And once, a fish in the center with either two rods crossed behind it or it was pierced by two crossed swords.

I began to ask Bael to help me see him and hear him. That I wanted to be able to communicate more freely with him and the other spirits.

I felt like the connection was fading, and then suddenly my head turned sharply to the right. And there was a black void off in the distance. A purple light was swirling off of it and connected to me. In my head, I shouted to it, “Bael! Help me! Help me see you.”

There was a heavy sensation in both of my legs, and they both were trembling and then became rod straight with toes pointed down. It was exactly like someone had grabbed both ankles and was pulling, trying to drag me somewhere.

This was the first time I lost the connection. I started focusing on the sigil again and got it back. This time it wasn’t as strong. I joked to Bael that there would be fewer interruptions if he could get my kitten to get off the top of the sofa. Not a minute later, the kitten came down like I wanted, but not how I wanted. The kitten jumped square into my ribs, disrupting my connection again, and then both kittens had a frantic case of the zoomies. Haha, good one Bael, you showed me.

I got the connection back again. This time I saw the head and shoulders of a handsome, chiseled elder man with shoulder length white hair and a white beard. The face began to fall away and it became a skull. The skull began burning and long horns grew out of it. The smoke from the flames made the shadow form of a cat. There was a sound of laughter that was also reminiscent of shrieking.

There was a stern but kind voice of an elder man in my head that said, “Yes, my child. But what is it that you really want?”

A stream of visions came through my head. Me and the man I love laughing and joking. Him holding me and stroking my hair. The way he buried his face in it and told me how good I smelled. Making love. Falling asleep. Just existing together.

I asked Bael again if he would help me, but our connection was cut again by my upstairs neighbor being extremely loud and dropping something heavy. I couldn’t get the connection back. But I realized that I the entire time, from the time I saw the old man’s face, I had been smiling and feeling peaceful.

I am going to keep trying to establish a stronger connection so that Bael can teach me and help me going forward. And I praise him for coming to me and showing himself to me last night.

[queenofpeace]

Wow. What an evening!

14 days ago, I used my pendulum board under the full moon and asked the spirits “Will I see results in 1 week?” and the answer was no. I asked “Will I see results in two weeks?” The answer was yes.

Tonight, I saw a big result. The wedding ring is off again.

It was also another night he spent trying awkwardly and relentlessly to get my attention. A guy that had been competing with him over me was at the theater tonight, and we flirted a little bit. Harmless stuff. But it really had an effect on my guy.

This is a short update because I’m exhausted. I’ll post again in the morning about my 2nd interaction with Bael from last night.