Myn so far is very self initiatory
For me I felt my primary goal of the working was more about making relationships with the God’s and Goddesses more than actually experiencing the Gates of the Nightside.
So it was pretty intense when I got started and experienced entering the Whomb of Lilith as it manifested in my physical life.
Forcing me to overcome fear of Death almost immediately and forcing me to take power over my pain.
I just started by Making a pact with Naahma when I could tell it was time.
It’s been really rough the first week
I made the pact before the consecration ritual,
meaning I didn’t actually allow myself to experience Nahmas energy until a week after I made the pact.
I did a consecration ritual to bind her to me with a blood sigil. I made the pact before I did the ritual because I wanted to plan it out right.
For the week after making the pact but before the consecration ritual it was super chaotic and rough.
It was painful and I had to face addictions and she forced me to learn to become the magican in an instant if I need to.
She taught me to to always be prepared to Die physically and to commit to my self Deification even in the face of physical death.
The ritual I did was really awesome I took a week to plan it.
I followed the Draconain opening ritual written by Asenath Mason and Daemon Barzi
I drew a Trident with my ritual blade allowing a gateway to come into the room and it did in an instant.
I started west evoking Leviathan by drawing his siil and Chanting with alot of energy
I did the same for South Asmodaous
East Lucifer and North for my friend Belial
Then Lilith and open the heavens
And Hecate is o Unite us with Hell
Then I grounded the energy and obsorbed it before staring into the sigil I practiced drawing for a week. Then I applied my blood and invited Naahmas energy into the center. I felt her after a few seconds and was overwhelmed with love for Her. I had a feeling of being reunited with an aspect of myself I felt like I was remembering Naahma not meeting her for the first time.
My Solar plexus was pulsating like it dose when I’m trying to astral project.
It so was so amazing and I almost cried.
I kept staring into the sigil until I had obsorbed the energy. After the ritual was over I felt totally renewed.
The problem now is I can’t feel her with me all the time. It’s like when I’m not thinking about her she’s not here and I don’t like that.
I wanna feel her around me all the time cause that feeling was so amazing.
Today she told me to turn every aspect of my life into a Tool for Magick.
I guess I wanna know if anyone has experienced it this intense and what to expect going forward.
I plan to keep Naahma in my Aurora no matter what She is to powerful and her energy I’m in love with it.
We are still working our pact I asked her for Help soul traveling, Dealing with relationships with powerful women, and to give me her Gnosis and how to apply it to my life. In return for allowing her to use me as vessel for her manifestation on Earth.
We haven’t really done possession yet but I definitely want to. I saw a small preview of it the night after I made the pact and was drawing the sigil.
I just started drawing it and then I was In a trance state.
For the rest of the night I was kinda not present it was really weird and I was freaking out because I was at work I can’t really describe what it was like. I was moving and talking like normal but I just felt like I wasn’t really in my body.
I have had dreams this week about traveling around where I live but there are places that aren’t really there.
But I’m always walking around town and going places.
I have felt alot more confident than usual and more comfortable in my own skin especially dealing with women. But the amount of physical pain I was in this week was so bad I didn’t care.
Im hoping to learn more about soul travel and More ways to feel close to Naahma all day.
I thought about making a pendant.
I don’t plan on moving on to Gamaiel until I feel it’s right but even then I’m keeping Naahma close to me even if I work with other spirits I won’t allow my relationship with Naahma to be weakened by other spirits.
Next is probably possession and learning more about spiritual senses I think she will be a little easier on me now the the ritual is done or maybe I’ll just be more obident to her energy because I have felt how awesome she is and I want to do what she wants me to. I’m just gonna go with where I feel led cause that’s what got me this far.
The biggest thing I have taken away so far is just how intense and Hardcore this kinda of working can be and That I really don’t think it’s for everyone.
The only reason I think I’m doing it is because I’m disengaged from myself enough to not care deep down if Everything falls apart and these energies eat me alive. I feel like I would willingly walk into fire if I knew it would make me better. Because pain and trauma is temporary but self deification is forever.