Pushing myself to open up diary

4hmagm · June 6, 2019, 12:57pm

@Anassa thank you . I appreciate your encouragement.

4hmagm · June 7, 2019, 11:59am

So i had a dream about a vampire biting me last night after having a conversation yesterday about vampirism with someone. Crazy what your subconscious does sometimes. It was a really good dream though. Female vampires are sexy as hell.well anyway time to do my morning energy work.

Thanks for reading and as always stay positive.

4hmagm · June 11, 2019, 2:45pm

After several days of thinking things over I have come to the decision that I am going to take a hiatus for a bit. I have several things to work through before I can interact here. I’m not currently in a good place and need to change some things before I can come back. I need to figure out this unhealthy mind set and what it’s going to take to change it.

I appreciate everyone’s support and encouragement hope to be back soon.

A special thanks for all who helped me see what I need to work on.

Thanks for reading and as always stay positive.

4hmagm · June 20, 2019, 2:09pm

Hey everybody I am back.

Been doing some energy work while I was away and some soul searching. I am going to stick with this diary for a while limiting myself to doing the work and posting it here. I’m gonna be very careful about my interactions with anyone. I don’t need to repeat my mistakes.

Thanks for reading and as always stay positive.

anon40900405 · June 20, 2019, 2:27pm

This is your diary and it doesnt matter if people reads it or not
But stay persistant.

4hmagm · June 24, 2019, 11:24am

Something very interesting happened last night. I was getting ready for bed and I could feel the presence of something waiting for me to start my usual bedtime meditation. I was exhausted and didn’t want to do anything but go to sleep. I told the spirits that I needed a break because I was getting worn out. The next thing I know is I am experiencing this rush of energy going up my spine. This was the most intense thing I ever have experienced.

Thanks for reading and as always stay positive.

4hmagm · June 25, 2019, 1:08pm

Nothing special to report today just been doing my energy work. I do have a tremendous lack of motivation for work today. I have that most days though.

4hmagm · June 25, 2019, 1:08pm

Thanks for reading and as always stay positive

4hmagm · June 29, 2019, 3:24am

Good night mighty horseman enjoy yourselves.

Thanks for reading and as always stay positive.

Zapdubious · June 29, 2019, 4:37am

Awesome journal.

“Illumination” means lots of different things to different people, but one thing that illuminated individuals seem to have in common is an appreciation for ideas that are simple and fundamental.

Stay Positive is a serious challenge if one takes it seriously. It can be a goddamned war. It can get you hauled in by the industrial inquisition for feeling feelings of an almost human nature.

Know Thyself

4hmagm · June 29, 2019, 3:14pm

It’s a good thing the first horseman is the conqueror. He will help with the war to stay positive.

Thanks for reading and as always stay positive

4hmagm · July 2, 2019, 1:25pm

Really tired today struggling to do energy work.

Perseverance is key.

Thanks for reading and as always stay positive.

4hmagm · July 3, 2019, 11:12am

Feeling better today. Getting rid of kids for the night and going out with some friends. Ready for the extra day off work as well.

Thanks for reading and as always stay positive.

4hmagm · July 5, 2019, 1:34pm

The horsemen have been being way more active lately or I have been noticing them more not sure which. I have been staring to be able to hear them lately. Good to see my determination is paying off. My work with them has been minimal so far as I am still working on my personal development at this point.

What I have been doing so far is to wear the appropriate color shorts to bed and letting them work with me through my dreams. White, red, black and green. Then I take a night off and repeat.

If anyone has any information on them I would be happy to hear it.

I also will start including anything that they let me share . Not sure if anyone has any interest in working with them or not. I have found it to be very rewarding so far.

Thanks for reading and as always stay positive.

4hmagm · July 13, 2019, 2:22pm

Last night the white horseman Azazemil showed me the power of the words "I am ". He showed me that they are a necessary part of my personal development and how to use them for my dark alchemy. Thank you Azazemil for your wisdom and guidance.

Thanks for reading and as always stay positive.

4hmagm · July 17, 2019, 1:43pm

I been a bit . I don’t post as much as possible. Anyway keep on keeping on. Energy work continues. And nightly work with the horsemen.

Thanks for reading and as always stay positive.

4hmagm · August 15, 2019, 9:20pm

I must say I didn’t realize how long it has been since posting here.

Well I am happy to report that I just got done with a spell and got an instantaneous response to assure me that its being taken care of.

Thanks for reading and as always stay positive.

4hmagm · August 20, 2019, 2:58pm

Just a quick update on the spell it is working well better than i thought.

Azazemil is amazing.

Anyone wanting info on working with him
Drop me a pm ill give you some details.

Thanks for reading and as always stay positive.

4hmagm · January 21, 2021, 11:33am

I guess it has been a long time since I have posted here. It has also been awhile since I have done much of any kind of work. I had a sudden drop in interest in any spiritual path. Not sure if I will start again or not.

Thanks for reading and as always stay positive.