It’s been a good week since I had probably the most trippy ritual experience I’ve ever had like ever in everdom (Gods! thread in general discussion). Honestly the days after I wanted to make sure I didn’t break my brain so I went through perceptive tests, questioning everyone and thing just to make sure I didn’t sincerely go nutz, along with reviewing notes and my grimore. Realizing the world didn’t change, nor was I going to have “A Beautiful Mind” moment and a dash of a little boozing too (lol )I got back at it.
I kept my practice to just adoration of the entity more or less and that was it. After realizing I am as sane as I’m going to be( lol) I resumed my practice. In my opening I do a Kulandalni exercise while reciting an adapted Ahrimainc staota in a ritual setting. This occurs all the while I’m in a trance like state staring at an image at the deity I work with on a whole (Lilith).
Blue static congeals to a blue static bob superimposing the image I’m staring at (not completely). I’m cool with that then the dis jointed feeling, (world’s is on the left with the same blueish afterimages of my environment in that direction). Another note is that when I’m in this “mode” of thinking/perception, falling into visual thought is automatic, the strangeness is when is my eyes are open but I am not seeing( literally lost in thought). I expected this though I’m wallowing in the astral so to speak. My eyes are 20/20, so I’m not visually impaired ( qualified shot in the military lol) and I can do this at will in a stable environment or in that trance like state of mind.
I’m just waiting/working for the full embodiment of my evocations. That trance blue blob state happens every time I try something along with the presence of feeling small in a larger room that’s my own. So my words to the thread keep it going with honesty to self and reckless abandon towards your goals !!