Hello, all. I have been in and out of magick over the last few years, never seeing any tangible results or successes. It’s a long story/pattern.
I want to satiate my ego with results, which is a no-no on the right hand, I suppose.
I am writing on a tablet, which is horrible for going at lengths on a message board, but:
Essentially, I have heard countless apparently skilled magicians say you must construct a permanent circle around yourself, by way of the LBRP, MPR, etc etc, before ANY evocational workings. Some who say not to even try before accomplishing K&C with the HGA. I think I notice this mostly from adherents of the GD system.
Yet, I see these cautions less emphasized by authors such as DuQuette (even with systems so powerful as Enochian), and no such mention in what little I have read of the old grimoires. E.A. seems not to emphasize it either, even throughout the seminar I watched of him at Dixie, and he certainly seems experienced.
I am impatient. I want experiential knowledge, and results. I want to know this stuff is real. I want practicality.
Collectively, I have done hours and hours of the LBRP and frankly, I am fucking sick of it as it yielded zero results. Actually, that is a lie… after a while it induced petulance and rage within me.
I have been focusing on meditation, mindfulness, enlightenment and all that for so long (which is beautiful stuff) but I have no outlets. I am all yin and no yang…
What are your thoughts/experiences about these notions? Must one fortify ones Self to proceed with these arts?
I want my fill of knowledge, and moreover new and exciting life experiences of which I have deprived myself of to an obscene amount because of anxiety, laziness and apathy. I need help… I suppose that sounds desperate, but so be it.