Im a fairly new magician working with goetic demons and sitri is my main focus for more than a week now, i would try to evoke him everyday but still cant see or hear him, but i do feel chilly gusts of wind in my room. anyways i meditate everyday for more or less a week now to develop my astral senses as iv read that maybe because i still haven’t developed them i wont feel the demons. I did extensive research and found meditation techniques that peaked my interest. It was a technique to develop the third eye and the other was to invoke a demon inside of me. They said if you cant feel the presence outside, maybe you can feel it inside. last night as i was getting ready to sleep, i decided to meditate till i fall asleep, so i tried the first method, imagine a brilliant cloud absorbing the stress all throughout my body, when i was finally relaxed, i decided to mix the other method. The second method was to imagine as i breath a golden light being absorbed through my third eye, as i was feeling pressure in the third eye area i decided to mix in invocation but add a twist. I chanted prince sitris enn and tried to relax while thinking of my astral self in my mind, then i asked if i could asborb his knowledge and power through my third eye, and i heard him talk in my mind yes and i felt a confirmation, i then imagined my third eye absorbing his energy then i realized i was feeling detached and felt my body melt and although my eyes was closed, felt like everything is shrinking, then prince sitri was with me and marbas (i evoked him to aid my astral senses) they talked to me and i was skeptical if i was just talking to myself, then prince sitri showed me a sexual scene which i would die for just to cone true, he then told me it was possible if i were to follow him, then he showed me another scene. it was a way how it can be achieved and it seemed very logical and possible. i then decided to thank them even though im not sure if they were really the “real deal” and (it was around 11pm when i did it, when i stopped the clock was 1am) when i open my eyes i felt really… strange. Like i was not myself.
When i try to move my body it would move easily but feel strange, like im dreaming. i kept trying to fall asleep but just couldn’t. i rolled on my bed in different positions but i wont fall asleep. then 2 or 3 hours later i dozed of without thinking.
When i woke up i felt really detached and strange, i was thinking maybe prince sitri is partially possessing me, but i dont feel powerful and dont hear him talk in my head. Then came the thought maybe it’s a parasite, so i tried doing a ritual i think is also a form of banishing, in the book 72 demond of magick by Gordon Winterfield, there was a method to evoke 4 archangels and a white circle to prevent any spirits and smoothen my spiritual journey, i decided maybe to try it to cleanse myself, so i tried it, and to make sure i took a bath and imagined black impurities getting washed as i take a bath and getting cleansed. right now i feel like myself again but i want to confim if thats how i should really feel when i invoke, or was it a parasite and if maybe it was all placeboo.