I’ve been on this forum for about two years, but I left because my depression and my BPD got stronger.
Tried soul travel and astral projection but my visualization is crap, and I don’t see myself trying again meditation, my head is too fucked up
it’s seen like praying is the only option I have, it’s the only thing that I know how to do my entire life (and honestly I’m not so good at it)
My life is a mess, and I basically lost all hopes.
Three days ago I prayed to dentalion , asked him from help, and in return I promise him myself/soul (I don’t really know what it means, and honestly don’t care)
But I felt relaxed, some quite, but nothing really more.
Yesterday I prayed him again, it was a little different from the last time, and I felt so Loopy, so tired and I usually don’t feel sleepy if I don’t take diazepam.
For the first time in weeks, I fall asleep without taking any pills, and it was actually a good sleep.
I thought maybe it’s a sign.
Toward noon I just wanted to say thank you to Dantalion for the sleep he gave me, and I suddenly felt so tired again, I slept for about an hour and a half, I now woke up in a panic with some Sleep paralysis And something else I don’t know exactly how to describe, one of the strongest sleep paralysis, stronger than anything I’ve ever felt, heard laughter or wheezing (not really sure)
If anyone can help me understand what it was I’ll be grateful