I’ve been on this forum for about two years, but I left because my depression and my BPD got stronger.
Tried soul travel and astral projection but my visualization is crap, and I don’t see myself trying again meditation, my head is too fucked up
it’s seen like praying is the only option I have, it’s the only thing that I know how to do my entire life (and honestly I’m not so good at it)
My life is a mess, and I basically lost all hopes.
Three days ago I prayed to dentalion , asked him from help, and in return I promise him myself/soul (I don’t really know what it means, and honestly don’t care)
But I felt relaxed, some quite, but nothing really more.
Yesterday I prayed him again, it was a little different from the last time, and I felt so Loopy, so tired and I usually don’t feel sleepy if I don’t take diazepam.
For the first time in weeks, I fall asleep without taking any pills, and it was actually a good sleep.
I thought maybe it’s a sign.
Toward noon I just wanted to say thank you to Dantalion for the sleep he gave me, and I suddenly felt so tired again, I slept for about an hour and a half, I now woke up in a panic with some Sleep paralysis And something else I don’t know exactly how to describe, one of the strongest sleep paralysis, stronger than anything I’ve ever felt, heard laughter or wheezing (not really sure)
If anyone can help me understand what it was I’ll be grateful
Unfortunately when we’re in a bad place, sometimes the growth to get out of that place is also painful. But necessary and worth it in the end.
My advice is start with the essentials. Grounding. Don’t be too focused on mental or spiritual stuff, focus on building a strong physical foundation. Wellness, positivity, maybe self-help books accompanied with gentle meditation, where the result you seek from it is “no result”. This will help. But feel safe in the physical, work on stability and clarity first.
Yep something similar happened to me first getting out of my body. I was literally forcing myself out of my body, i felt like i had an arm and shoulder and head out of my body when i heard this really loud laugh like 2 meters from my bed… and i went “NOPE” and went inside my body again.
It’s quite common to hear noises when you’re about to leave your body while awake. Have heard really loud metal banging inside of my room some other time as well. The other time i heard like some had felt and made this huge noise… Of course there was nothing there, nothing had felt.
I’m not sure why those happen but they do. I have noticed that once i left go of fear that stopped being a thing. Besides i try to always smudge the place and so on.
While i wouldn’t offer my soul to a being (not judging), maybe the being who you offered it is trying to develop your senses… I mean… you’re technically his, so… You did the offer… trust the spirit i suppose.
If i had done what u did (and dont take me on it) i would probably ask the spirit to possess me for an hour or so to help and work from within… balance and develop you out.
I heard a black magician saying he let Lucifer possess him for like a week once. And when He left he (the magician) could see the auras people really bright and stuff to the point where he had to use dark glasses. Something to consider i suppose.