Skimming through the story at hand: I have no opinion because apparently we don’t share a similar taste in men 
My take on this experience:
The overwhelming environment of that “titty bar” killed the build-up of ANY possible intimacy (but you probably killed it first because you seemed to be VERY discontent with the little things he gave off to you). I am not anti-sex but confronting your date with an overload of visual stimuli in an entertainment club when he is supposed to pay attention to you (although kudos to him if he really wasn’t into this setting but soldiered through it for your sake) IS a risky headstart.
You clearly paid more attention to the dancers than to him, which is quite telling in itself.
He probably noticed and didn’t know how to react.
Sometimes being “lame” can be confused with socially shy or insecure behaviour. A lot of men tend to take themselves back a little because they don’t know how to navigate an appropriate amount of flirting and joking and if that dude is a bit shy by nature he might have had difficulties to come out of his shell.
Overall you both had different expectations out of each other, even if you had the lowest common denominator “getting dick/getting pussy” 
So, instead of just going after the very vague goal of “getting men” you should rephrase this bit into “getting men that are interesting to me”. Because this man surely wasn’t. You could try any kind of attraction working while you’re visiting such water holes; the men interested in such stuff are there to begin with and won’t feel weird to stare at boobs with you before bedding you.