I currently have a situation, which i can only come by, using my magickal skills…
Energy supply, isn’t a problem, i have access to an nexus.
I try to re-produce an physical transformation,which i did while Azazel posessed me,
but it scattered into an illusion back then.
This time, i want to reproduce the efect,
but dense it into physical stable grade.
The technique, was to convert the items, by counting them from the left hand (hand of death)
to the right hand (hand of Life).
Back then, the necessary energy was drawn from some other magician,
which is why it felt super badly, and i didn’t try again.
His name was something like s…103
And i was using the 0 to focus and syncronize my mind to the polaritys,
of left being one, right being 3.
Still, i only did an temporarly illusion there.
i know, numinosis made the work possible
Which is a full activated Ajna Chakra, and changing letters into symbols.
and even tho, this direct access to physical reality was successful,
i kinda felt, anytime, it’s done that way, is harmful, and shouldn’t be done, at least not from me.
But i now have other skills, and developed a bit, and at least, i kinda look into re-doing it…
becouse, i’ll have to gather around 4-5000€ basicly out of nothing, in under 20 days. my normal monthly income is 1300 €, while at the same time, being unemployed, which created half of the costs.
I allready came to the conclusion, i’ll propably have to do physical death of ego, after the work.
But i need ideas and input, to get myself more pushed back into it.
I go over several mental blockages here, aswell…
since i have to break my own beliefs, in order to furfill the task at hand.
Still, i want to do the Work!
It’s such quickly needed to be worked through, becouse i have an very importend opportunity, and inventation, from an Brother of mine, to come by, and follow for.
And in Love for him, i don’t want to let him wait, longer then necessary.
Kinda miss that friend.
Becouse the last time,
we went away from each other,
we kinda had an argue,
and i still feel sorrow for being rude to him…
Oh and i know, that affecting Members is against the rules, that’s why i did all i could, back then, to reduce the potency back down, and secure the well being of the sorcerer which was entangled into the spell.
Basicly he was vampirized by me, without me intending to do so.
So i want to be sure, that this time, i do no mistakes with it.