Hello and welcome, I decided to start a journal after i got possessed by astaroth 2 days ago.
I made this journal to record all the rituals, dates and experiences.
This is UPG so take everything with a grain of salt.
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4/4/22
I performed the first and second ritual from the book of Astarte and Astaroth by V.K. Jehannum.
For this ritual i used 2 tealight candles and burned frankincense and myrrh which i offered to the spirits that would participate in the upcoming rituals. I also used 3 tarot cards which i personally associate with Astaroth and Astarte: The magician, The emperor and the hanged man.
The ritual was really powerful once i started chanting the words from the book, my mind felt foggy and it also caused a small headache. This got more intense after i reached about in the middle of the first ritual.
After that i continued my mundane life to take my mind off the ritual. During the day had to go out, so while i was outside the house i suddenly felt a sensation like a spirit was attaching itself to me ( i had a lot of problems with spirits and parasites some time before that so i thought that it was just another one).
When i was finally done and reached home i immediately did some techniques (cleansing, circle of black fire etc.) with the intention to send away any spirits or parasites that could prove to be harmful. I modified the circle of black fire to burn any spirits that could be harmful while empowering myself and all spirits that aid me and i felt the spirit as well as myself getting empowered from it. But because i still wasn’t sure i asked my guides to help me with that while i was getting ready to do a tarot reading.
I used a relationship spread to learn what the spirit wants from me. Shuffled the cards and then i unconsciously turned the deck upside down and after the first card i turned it upside down once more. I followed my intuition and interpreted some cards with both of their meanings while others with one of the two. The reading made a lot of sense, it basically told me that i am being way too cautious and that i should trust the spirit (Astaroth and Astarte) just not trust it completely until i work with him and have a good relationship with him. Another thing that it told me was that there would be trials and destruction ( i am looking to destroy and rebuild myself so that was good to hear).
By the time that i had done all of these things it had gotten pretty late so i just chanted the name astaroth with the intention of inviting more of his energy inside of me. It worked out so after that most of my suspicions went away.
Note: as expected i am really bad at writing journals.
5/4/22
I performed the same rituals (started with heresy of havayoth then first and second rite) which weren’t as intense as the first time or it could just be that i start to slowly get used to its energy.
After those rituals i performed the next ritual from the book of astarte and astaroth which is used to raise the kundalini forces. It did mention that it included partial possession in it.
So like i planned i started the rite and recited the words after doing all that i was instructed to let astaroth do the work. So that’s what i did i laid with my back into the wall and a pillow in between and let astaroth take control. I didn’t really expected that but while he was taking control of my body it felt like i was just an observer, everything felt weird the most accurate way i can describe it is that i felt like my whole body was being electrified. All that was followed by my head slowly moving upwards and my mouth slowly being open. It felt like something was getting out of my mouth. I then got a little scared and i had the feeling that it would be fine if i stopped there for today.
6/4/22
After all the rituals from the previous days i was excited for the next ones so i performed the third rite and i moved on to the fourth and fifth rite of the book which had to do with empowerment from the four alchemical elements as well as strengthening the connection to my higher self and improving my magickal abilities.
I began with heresy of havayoth then the fourth , fifth and sixth rites, all of the were really powerful rites but there wasn’t anything to be noted.
Note: if i get anything wrong do not hesitate to point it out.
7/4/22
When i woke up today i was feeling a little different than usual, instead of having energy that was unbalanced divided throughout my body i felt a dark energy that was perfectly balanced. This energy felt like it was less than the energy that i usually had but that perfectly divided energy made energy work a lot. I didn’t have any time to look at it in the moment so i made a ward and cast a protection from V.K. Jehannum’s patreon.
The night comes and i was getting ready to contact astaroth. So everything is now ready, he was already here with me since he partially possessed me. His presense felt a lot less intense that it was yesterday (I think that he left behind some part of him with me, in order to come immediately when i called him.)
Before i was able to reach out to him i felt a presence, i used E.A. Koetting’s bainshing incantation, warded and performed the circle of black fire with the intention to burn spirits that do not act according to my will and empower the entities that do so as well as myself. I felt the entity getting empowered so i asked whether or not that was astaroth (l use clairsentience and claircognizance) would be willing to guide my through the qliphoth now. His answer was no. So this time i asked the same question but removed the now. He said yes which was followed by a no i took that as a “I will guide you but it’s best that you don’t do it now” which makes sense since i will be having some exams in two months and need to prepare. Then i confirmed that this was what he wanted to say and after i did i just ended up not doing the rituals since i was already feeling tired.
A few minutes after that i felt extremely sad and i started thinking about a toxic friendship that i had and i was trying to get out of, I felt like the sooner i was done with that the better. So that’s exactly what i did, i talked with that guy and told him that i would stop talking with him, after 2-3 weeks he finally respected my decision and let go.
I was feeling really sad at that moment but that only lasted a few minutes. After that i felt a presence again which was then followed by a sensation in the left part of my face where i felt a pair of fangs biting me (I don’t know whether that actually happend or i am just going insane). It felt like it was taking something away but was also giving me something, it was like i was chained up and one of the chains was let loose.
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8/4/22
I was getting ready to do my rituals when the night came, I did things like usual (banishing incantation, warding the room, casting protection, circle of black fire)
After the preparations were done i also used 2 tealight candles and offered some incense to astaroth and as a exchange i ask that the ritual is empowered. I also used 7 tarot cards that i associate with astaroth the cards are as follow:
The magician, the empress, the emperor, the high priestess, the world, the lovers, the hanged man.
Then I cleansed my energy body and allowed astaroth to partially possess me in order to raise my kundalini. I felt more exhausted than i was before when i did it.
Note: I have been feeling really exhausted since this morning and I had a headache all day.
9/4/22
I felt exhausted all day and had a headache again. I think its either because there is too much energy coming from astaroth or its simply because its raw energy that hasn’t taken any form. I asked whether she can fix it.
So anyway lets get to the rituals. For today i was already exhausted so i just had a small session with astaroth to develop my senses and open my 3rd eye. When the session ended i burned some incense (I told her that every time i did a session i would offer her incense).
19/4/22
The last few days i barely had time to perform small rituals. I just did some rites of shaitanic initiation and a session with astaroth to develop my senses.
Today i had a weird dream, In this dream i was fighting the goetic demons by drawing a tarot card, so every time i drew a tarot card from the deck the corresponding demon would appear. The dream started with me fighting a demon (not sure who he was, it might have been lucifer/paimon/astaroth). They weren’t fighting seriously it was something between training and fighting. So after fighting with some demons, I draw another card, the card was moon from the major arcana. This deck seemed to have different correspondences than other tarot decks much like how the thoth tarot is more unique than the other ones.
After drawing the card the previous demon disappeared and belial was now summoned. He looked like he was wearing some kind of fighting armor. Next thing i do is look again at the tarot card because it seemed and felt different than the other decks so i wanted to see if i read some of the information that was given on the card (it was blurry and i could only see the middle which was the name of the card). The word “MOON” in bold wasn’t there the second time i looked, instead the word “AMATH” was written on the card now and the dream ended there.
I have no idea what that meant however when i saw the word in my dream it came to me that it was associated with an ancient language similar to latin.
For the last few weeks that i have been unavailable, I have been using a modified version of the lbrp and lbrh
The differences are:
I visualize myself getting bigger and bigger until the I can hold all the galaxies in my hand and then imagine the black sun above my head, so I use black light instead.
I start drawing the banishing pentagrams of the earth with belial in the north
Then abaddon in the west, azazel in the south and amaymon in the east.
I then evoke these demons instead of the angels.
For the lbrh
I only changed the part where it says L.V.X LUX THE LIGHT OF THE CROSS with L.V.X LUX THE BLACK LIGHT OF THE CROSS.
FOR ANYONE SEEING THIS I DO NOT RECOMMEND USING THIS MODIFIED VERSION OF THE RITUALS ABOVE SINCE I DO NOT YET UNDERSTAND IN DEPTH WHY THE RITUALS WERE PUT THIS WAY AND THEREFORE CAN NOT KNOW ALL THE DIFFERENCES THAT THEY HAVE FROM THE ORIGINAL. THE ONLY THING THAT I CAN SAY IS THAT IT IS A LOT DIFFERENT THAN THE ORIGINAL ONE, I ONLY ARCHIVE IT HERE TO SEE IT WHEN I HAVE A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF THE RITUAL. I SIMPLY CHANGED WHAT I FELT LIKE AND I THINK THAT THERE ARE MISTAKES IN THAT MODIFICATION SO PLEASE DO NOT USE IT.