I accidently almost killed my kitten Luna. My beautiful odd eyed Luna… Last night when a friend was here, you see I have this portable clothes washer and spinner that I fastened to an end table so it’s high enough to drain into a bucket, and well it does almost a normal size load of laundry so it’s really nice. But I forgot to empty the bucket underneath it, after washing the clothes, when I ran the rinse cycle. It overflowed and then it actually ran down the radiator pipe in the corner, and my land lord came up because his pizza shop is below me, because it scared him, that it’s an old building and a leak could be any time lol. He wasn’t mad or anything, and it ended up being funny.
Until About noon, when my kids and I were surprised, that Luna still hadn’t come to meet them. She’s been very friendly with my friend, and my landlord. Not overbearing, but interested in meeting them and seeing how things go. Well I went looking and found her… and then remembered she didn’t sleep with me like usual. Her breathing sounded like mine did two weeks ago, when I had to go get steroids, my chest was so congested. Her nose was running, she was panting and over heating and well she looked liked she had a tiny bit of vomit on her chin. I was like wtf. she’s sick, she’s real sick and looks like freaking shock almost. I bathed her thinking as long as was careful to keep the water warm, so as not to truly set her into shock, I could warm her up, maybe make her vomit in case she ate something and clean her up. I gave her benadryl for the anhistamine, got down on the floor with her by the vaporizer cuz it runs hot, and took turns with the kids rubbing her cuz she cooled down too much despite my best thoughts towards it.
She’s sitting up and moving now, and I just had to redose her benadryl, because about an hour after it wore should have been safe for a second dose the breathing issues got significantly worse again so I knew it was helping. but. I accidently poisoned her.
When I moved in there was a mouse that would run from the mouse hole in the wall right behind the stove to one under my sink. So I bought the tomcat poison in the pet safe tray, put one under sink and one behind the stove. Luna couldn’t fit back there, plus it’s designed so that mouse has to enter the trap to get the poison, because cats and dogs are known to be attracted to it.
Well the water ran right under and behind the stove… I mopped up the water, didn’t think about the trap being there, didn’t go out of my way to leave it perfectly dry but was just like, well mopped the kitchen. When I went to bed, I actually had to pick the new bag of cat food up, because luna kept scratching at the plastic outside. I thought she could smell they were different foods and wanted that one more than hers. I picked it up and sat it on the radiator so she couldn’t reach it, and I could go to sleep. Her food bowl sits back in the corner, she’s been playing with her food and knocking it out on the ground…
I didn’t realize it would take so little poison, I didn’t think about it being back there, I didn’t think about water contamination, I just moved everything mopped and sat it back down. The cat food bag barely got wet, they also have thicker/plastic like bags now… so no harm no waste no foul, nothings wet or damage from one five gallon bucket of water.
Except Luna’s not out of the woods. She’s at maybe 50/50 right this moment.
I sit here, contemplating Alice, using a variant of this: Raphael mantra - success story I keep reminding myself it’s almost the same as with Alice, only now I actually know how to push with intention.
To me: Have you tried the Raphael mantra wrap?
Me: Not yet, I just sat down to look it up to make sure I was remembering the right post, when you and gram both started messaging me 
She’s literally spamming me atm so it will be… ten or twenty before I can actually try it.
Well I think she’s got fair odds. She doesn’t feel like she’s knocking at the door like she did an hour before I messaged you this afternoon.
Good thing I looked up this mantra, I was thinking it was the words going in a circle around the person in the area, like floating letters circling the body area in the aura/energy field…But it’s triangles.
I can’t see, but I can trace invisible lines of shapes and letters and words, if I know or can imagine in words what it would look either due to having seen something similar or a memory or whatever. I mean there’s no visual at all but I can push the energy like its the shape. So to do a triangle outline and push the energy/name in the shape around her body is doable.
To me: I’m actually surprised Benadryl would have an effect on a poisoning.
Me: I am and I am not, because it might not have had an affect on the poisoning at all…
But it has an affect on the symptoms of the poisoning, which gave her body and the energy I was pushing a chance to fight.
And the above about not being able to see but being able to work with details if they are known things, like Just cuz I can’t see it, I’m not going to forget what an R looks like, I’ve seen it so many times. But that’s why I can describe to like Rey, the how to visualize something I do, because even though I can’t do it, I can comprehend how you do it if you can see.
Edit: So it’s rather strange, it’s almost like a blind person who lost their sight, rather than a person born blind who could never see.
It’s actually a lot harder for me to take the way you guys work with things, and figure out how to work it for me, than it is to describe how I do something to you guys. Because of how I apply memories to describe how you could visualize the things I already know how to do.
Nothing can hurt her at this point. I keep doing the triangle, sometimes doing Bast’s name though. It’s easier to do because it’s fewer letters.
I sit here, and I can’t help but wonder. If this was how it was for my daddy, when I almost died at 2 years old. Did he literally will me to live. Did he hold me here-in this plane, while the door of death stood wide open, beckoning me into it’s warm embrace.