All smiles, I know what it takes to fool this town
I’ll do it 'til the sun goes down and all through the night time
Oh yeah
Oh yeah, I’ll tell you what you wanna hear
Leave my sunglasses on while I shed a tear
It’s never the right time
Yeah, yeah
I put my armor on, show you how strong how I am
I put my armor on, I’ll show you that I am
I’m unstoppable
I’m a Porsche with no brakes
I’m invincible
Yeah, I win every single game
I’m so powerful
I don’t need batteries to play
I’m so confident
Yeah, I’m unstoppable today
Man. I’ve had a great day. But I also had to overcome something I’ve been dreading for a while. See, I still haven’t really been driving. Not since my accident in March 2019. I’ve only driven three or maybe four times in the entire last year, and all of those times was less than a mile from my home.
I’ve not had to. My husband likes to drive and if he has things to do I go with him, and if I have things to do he goes with me. We’ve been able to do literally everything together for six months now, because he’s been home making sure I don’t croak in my sleep.
But now I’m getting stronger and better physically again, and my energy and my spirit have felt good for a while. I’ve been taking it easy and focusing on me until a few days ago, but I’ve been feeling antsy to get rolling with my plans and our life. I’ve noticed he has too, because of the monetary side of being home.
He’s done a few jobs here and there, but this one is an overnight job so when I needed to go to town to take care of this situation, I was shocked to find I was only slightly anxious. I took my time, and planned my trip as there ended up being several errands for me to run, which were all unexpected. The irony of it was real, because yesterday we went to town, specifically so I wouldn’t need to go anywhere at all, unless I chose to.
Well, I chose to. I knew the housemate wouldn’t be interested in driving, but he had offered to pay for an uber for me if I needed to go somewhere before to ensure I got there and didn’t have to take public transit, but I didn’t even consider it.
It’s damned well time I get the fck over it and get back to life. My husband needs to work (wants to) and he needs to know I am going to be okay while he does it. I need to know I am going to be okay to. So I didn’t think about it, I just decided, I prepared, then I just went.
I didn’t call on any spirits for safety as I sometimes do when I feel paranoid and I’m a passenger. I just got in, adjusted the seat, and almost got nervous before I got around the block. But then the thought came to me, that damned. I have driven the path I’m taking for 15 years. I know the towns well, I know the traffic well, I’m a good driver, I’m courteous, conscientious, I’ve driven in big big city scenarios and god dammit, the weathers good. Both my fender bender and the one bad accident I had were in weather conditions I couldn’t have done much to prevent, but I might could have reacted better to.
I know the only damned thing I have to fear is road trance, because I’ve caught myself doing it in the past and trance is easy for me to drop into, so I just need to be sure I’m in body, I’m aware and drive.
I then popped the faceplate back on the radio, we usually talk while we drive, but I’m alone. So I turn it up, roll the windows down and before you know it, I’m almost home again. Then I hear this Unstoppable song, and I’m like yeah. That’s it. That’s exactly it.