Hi. So I asked Lucifer to help me become whole and heal myself and my lifein order to become succesful. He agreed.
So I had a very hard time for a while with depression and anxiety and I am having tough time at work. So I asked Luciferwhat to do because I wasn’t going nowhere fast. This is what happened so far.
Phase one: the fall from grace
- I got notified my workplace was going to terminate a few people’s jobs. Some off us are going to be laid off.
- I fell into semideep clinical depression.
- My friendships started to feel like a burdain
- My boyfriend told me he couldn’t be with me if I worked with Lucifer
Phase two: The mental rebirth
- I decided to start pursuing another education because my current job sucks anyway and I am not happy there and they arelaying people off.
- I am known for running away from my problems and trying to numb pain. This time I decided not to start depression meds and just experience the pain, darkness, numbness, hate as it came. I understood it was justified and neccessary. It helped me alienate people who don’t appreciate both sides of me. I went through a very bad period of cryinga lot, sleeping a lot and being non functioning. But it helped. I dealt with issues I had hadfor years. I feel better now.
- I tod my friends this is me and they can choose if they want to be friends or not. I stopped trying to be “less tired and less depressed”. They stayed.
- I told my boyfriend to educate himself and that if he wanted to stomp on my religious human rights he could fuck off because he wasn’t who I thought he was. He decided I was worth some self evaluetion and got over it.
Phase three: Integration of Adversarial mindset
- I now question always wether my choices in life are as limited as I think they are.
- I have more integrity to be myself regardless of consequences
- I have started to question morale
- I have understood a higher power can’t fix me. I have to do it. They can only guide me and even that is optional.
- I have noticed when you are adversarial you are likea rat: can thrive anywhere, can succeed anyhow and can achieve anything you are willing to work for
- I broke my selfmade shackles.
- I learned I don’t need to be a selfish asshole even if I don’t adhere to strict morality