So this might be alittle long. With alot of detail, although I’ll try and just cover the important or experiences that stood out to me.
I first became aware of this spirit maybe a year or so after my mother’s death. At this time it was just the dream every now and then, not often or consistent at all. I was around 9-11 years old when the dreams started. In the dreams she would either be watching me from a distance, and rarely interact with me. Like I would dream (when I was still in school) about playing with the other kids during lunch outside, and you have the teachers who watch, and make sure no one is causing trouble – while I was playing in the dream I would notice her (at the time I called her “the woman”) just watch me from across the playground or field. This is one example of a dream.
When I got to be around 13 years old then I noticed her interact with me more in dreams (and slightly sexual, which bothered me), I also would feel when I went to go to bed that I would be sexually aroused sometimes for no reason, it would just happen. Which to a young kid, was confusing? I also started to feel her presence more actively to, only at night though. Felt like a dark presence (like someone of a dark nature) which sorta made me feel uncomfortable but over time I got used to her presence.
Now around highschool is when I started to hear weird things. Like knocking on walls, footsteps when either everyone was asleep, or I was home alone. I did see perhaps orb like lights (very rare occurrence)? And also heard someone (though this was my fault) scream in my ear while I was talking with my sister about…her. I was frustrated about her and thought she was of ill-nature at the time. While talking I heard a scream in my ear, my sister actually heard it too. We were both very creeped out. I forgot to mention but I also did have a weird (perhaps sleep paralysis) experience. I woke up from sleep in the middle of the night, in a half sleep- awake state, although didn’t bother to check if I could move or not. I became very quickly aware (my eyes were closed, and I kept them that way) that someone was on top of me. I felt feelings of being sexually aroused, and heard a female voice audibly say something along the lines of “can you feel me?” In a sorta cocky, teasing tone of voice. Due to my state I actually slipped back to sleep after hearing the voice.
I’ll add more later but how she appears in my dreams is pale skin, black long hair that is wavy? She dresses in dark clothing, black usually but still dresses formal like or well? Also one dream, she did “take blood from me”? So blood is a thing for her? My dreams with her and in general are always super vivid. There’s lots more, but I’ll stop for now.
Now when I tried to start and try and open my “senses” to feel and percieve her more clearly things did happen kinda quickly. I actually started to try and reach out the day before my 20th birthday which was recent (few months ago) and uh…there was alot of sexual activity the night before, night of birthday, and night after…however I noticed how drained I felt so I forced a stop to the sexual activity (with difficulty, she was stubborn) I noticed like one of the nights, was the night of my birthday I would sense her presence when it got near bed time, and later that night heard three knocks on my wall, I was also trying to communicate with her. What struck me as odd was before this any sexual stimulation would be 10 mins duration at most, but these nights (particularly the 2nd and 3rd) she kept me up almost all night.
Another thing I remember and I did record my experiences in a journal, was one of the times before the sexual stuff started I felt and heard something SMACK the bed on the mattress between my legs, it startles me as I wasn’t expecting that. Later on before I started dealing with imposters/thoughtforms/parasites (now I’m actually struggling to connect with her as I’m dealing with them, though I still feel her presence and occasional knocks on walls but not as active) I would feel like weight on the bed with me, not on me but feel like actual physical weight, and could feel energetic/physical touches which was weird, and unlike these imposters I did notice her “touches” actually felt like to STRONG for me to handle, like over stimulating but not painful.
However I don’t know her name or sigil, just that she has a dark feel to her presence, and how she has appeared in dreams and my mind’s eye. Also her behavior can be possessive (as one of my dreams some things she said to me) but also caring. It’s weird, however the possessiveness might be because of how unsure I was about her throughout my life, either thinking I’m imagining things, worried that she means Ill or other stuff.
I only noticed the dreams about “her owning me, or her saying I’ll never be able to leave her” happened when I became worried or wanted her out of my life, but she seems to also calm down and be motherly/caring when I try and connect/accept her. I don’t know if she is a Succubus, or who she is but she has had a profound effect in my life.
@Lux_Tenebris@Lady_Eva Did some research, and although the spirit is sexual in nature I’m not sure if she’s a Succubus, or even her identity. Thought maybe an opinion people with different experiences might help?
I would agree that while this spirit is a sexual one, she doesn’t seem to behave like many Succubus might. What I mean by that is, a Succubus doesn’t typically watch someone from afar for that long. They’re typically more forward.
This spirit seems like a type of Vampire to me, not just because of the blood comment, but because of the consistency in her dream visits. Would love to hear what others think too
What type of vampire spirits are their? I know of vampiristic spirits, but not sure how something like blood would play into that. She is a very sexual spirit, but yeah some things don’t quite add up based on the research?
Also to add, the spirit does in dreams say how she “wants to be with me”, and about the bond we share …which I do feel somehow connected…even when I first realized something was around and before anything sexual…felt a connection but not sure who she is. Or what type of vampire Spirit.
It sounds like a succubus, sounds like she was preying on you and waiting until your kundalini started being active and your sexual energy is at its highest during puberty , so they can feed off it
She didn’t start being fully sexual till about 18 years of age. By sexual in my dreams i meant more like romantic slight sexual touching. Mostly she would watch, and when she did interact it had something to do with…say one of the dreams I remember I was swimming at a pool with other people, (during this time I had chest body image issues-- didn’t like my chest) and she joined me and basically put both hands on my chest while saying to accept and love my body/chest.
What defines a succubus? Vaguely, it’s sex, right? Or that they feed on the emotional energies of lust and desire?
…or of having a “parasitic attachment” to their human “host”?
A common denominator of a “succubus” entity is sex, lust and desire. On that, most of us can agree. At the same time, other spirits also engages within these same categories, maybe with less intensity because they lack the deeper knowledge of human anatomy and psychology. They can pull the strings, but it takes more effort in doing so.
Another common denominator is a feather-like touch, and these kind of touches are often reported by other people that blogs about their experiences with succubus entities.
There’s also people experiencing droplets of water that falls on their shoulders, heads and faces. This is often an emotional response from the succubus, which reflects joy, happiness and sometimes even sadness. The latter is more uncommon when tears are involved, so it should be seen as something very positive if this happens.
Another thing that separates a succubus entity from other spirits is that they often “mark” their human partner during sex with their body fluids. It often feels like getting sprayed. The area that gets marked during sex is the torso area. Another thing that also happens during sex is that the human male releases prostate fluids from the prostate gland on their bodies, which is not something that’s in control.
…and to summarize this: Each and everyone of these spirits are unique in their own way, and they are experts and masters in their own feilds. Some of them do magic, others do other things.
So little thing about me: trans male. In terms of fluid I did feel a burning hot liquid on my inner thigh, although also maybe droplets of water on me before as well?
Touches do feel energetic, but the more sexual activity that goes on the more physical she feels…like I can feel her hand (the individual fingers), legs, etc. However even when physical she feels energetic…mostly her “skin” radiates a warmth although I’ve also felt like cold air like energy as well?
She is yes quite sexual, but also has been there to calm me… affectionate and as I mentioned seems to try show me love and show me to also love myself…the only times her and I have “problems” is when I was younger and either was scared (thought she was ill in intent) and wanted her out of my life, or unsure. To which her response was those dreams about “me not being able to leave her etc”.
Her energy has always felt “dark” to me though. Either a light dark feel to it, or very dark. Not like threatening but like dark in nature.
I cant feel them anymore or atleast its weaken alot, currently fighting the plague that we face as humanity. Thats prob why i cant feel them, but i can still hear them, dont give up and live. Is what i kept hearing, oh and that they would fuck the shit out of me if i survive lol incentives
