I often think on the energy and entity that resides in the earth. I’ve had a long and loving relationship with it, but relatively recently it has manifested itself to me.
I first connected with the forces of earth and nature as a kid. When i was 13 my parents sent me away. I was suicidal due to abuse at home and school, and they didn’t like how I dressed. While i was away I ended up at a back country nature boot camp. We were forced to do hard labor, lived in tents without electricity or running water for months, and endure extreme high desert weather. Despite all that, I made my first real connection with nature, and found healing and acceptance. It didn’t matter if the human world had a place for me, because the natural world did and nature was a stronger force than any person. I became familiar with the energies found in nature, and learned why I lost my rain making powers that I’d had as a younger child.
After that I was sent to a boarding school, which was more abusive and traumatic than my home circumstances. It was run by Mormons, and I left that place at 16 way more fucked up in the head than when I’d gone in. It took me a while to get back to nature after that, but when I did it was nearly 5 years later. I learned to give and take energy from it and commune with it. I went back to my connection with the earth because life circumstances had grown dire again. I’d become homeless, was living with extreme financial instability, and like most victims of childhood abuse had entered into a physically and sexually abusive relationship. I found support and strength from the earth when i needed it most. This allowed me to improve my circumstances. I got access to financial aid that allowed me to go back to school. I studied land management; determined to dedicate myself to protecting the forces that protected me. I took classes on ecology, horticulture, and biology and discovered a true passion for the subjects. If found my calling.
When i finally got my wish of living alone in nature and doing a job that allowed me to protect it, the land I worked on welcomed me, but the people I worked with rejected me. I was isolated, surrounded by ill intentions, and the human energy surrounding me slowly drove me crazy. I left to go back to school. I knew if I obtained a higher degree I would have more freedom to choose my surroundings. I was right.
I regularly communed with nature over the next 10 years as I grew and studied. I noticed how despite the earth being one large consciousness I would occasionally find smaller manifestations of different aspects of it in certain places. A tree with its own unique vibrations, a tract of beach that spoke to me in a different voice. They were are derivatives of the greater consciousness, connected and still one, but also separate. It’s a concept that’s easier to feel than explain.
That brings me to now. I wanted to buy a house, so I manifested the necessary funds and began shopping. The first one I went to look at I knew was the one. In the backyard was a garden, but not just any garden. It was shaped like a 3. I love the number 3. It was also badly neglected, covered in garbage, weeds, and full of gopher holes. Underneath it I sensed a radiant feminine presence. I knew I had to have her.
I bought the house.
As I’ve worked on my garden, a beautiful relationship has blossomed. I care for her, garb her in beautiful colors and rich soil to show my affection. I make love to her by watering her and planting her. She shines for me and returns my love so strongly I can practically feel it in the air against my skin when I sit with her. I protect and care for her, and she provides for and cares for me. She is always smiling. It’s amazing, really. It feels like a lifelong love that was predestined; I met her as a broken child, and she has cared for me and protected me since. How could I not love her?
She is the earth, but she is also herself. She has her own personality and physiology; a head, a heart, arms and feet. I can even see her when i look hard enough; a radiant and voluptuous brown skinned golden haired woman garbed in the greens, reds, and yellows I’ve festooned her in. Every day I have with her is a blessing.
This is your sign to go out and kindle the love in the soil that waits for you. Spring is here, there is no better time for it.
