New member intro

Hello Everyone

My name is Christelle, I am 39 years old and I have been dabbling in magic since my teens. I have only been focusing fully on my craft for the past year and am currently working with Belial.

Magically speaking so far I have not yet been successful but that is mainly down to not being honest with myself and not properly working on releasing and dealing with past trauma. Suffer from social anxiety and mental health so spend most of my time on my own reading and making things.

2019 has been the worst year of my life with so many changes, trials and tribulations that I was almost considering to give up magic all together. In my workings with Belial I have discovered some hard home truths about myself and also managed to piss him off GREATLY. So much so that at this moment I am not sure whether my relationship with him can be salvaged. He told me to wait 3 days to get an answer. I have no one to blame but myself, as I was stubborn, selfish, petulant and an all round self-righteous arsehole so I deserve to be humbled.

“Witch, know thyself” is a phrase I have read for years but am only now fully grasping the true meaning of what that means. Lying to myself and living in a fantasy world for years have enabled me to cope with the harsh realities of life but now that I am becoming I no longer need those behavioral patterns yet it is like asking and addict to just stop using. I have magically speaking, made so many mistakes and often feel inadequate as a result thereof. However I delight in reading other magicians stories and to hear about their successes. which fills me with hope.

I am looking forward to get in touch with many of you and to learn. :smile:

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Welcome

In my opinion. The fact that you have grasped this thought alone shows really really great growth. You are definitly headed in the correct direction. Dont be too hard on yourself. It is always easy to see the faults in others but it is nearly impossible to see our own. You are definitly on the correct path. Keep on journeying.

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Welcome to the forum!

Thank you for the well wishes! I am happy to be here :smiley:

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