New Member Intro, Confused soul

Hello everyone i got interested in the unseen at quite an early age, or well certain things happened that lead down the path i am walking on now. I have lived with a schizofrenic mother my whole life or well that is what i was told by everyone around me. (not sure why they let me live there but thats a story for another time)
But i am sure they did not see what i have seen, hear her talking to walls, laughing maniacally for no apparent reason, staring at me several hours when i “sleep”, giving me the ‘evil eye’, shaving off her hair and when i ask her why she told me “he told me to do it”. (these things happened over several years, so not everyday occurences)
I am not sure how to explain all this and i have had other things happen around me especially those years i lived there. Paintings falling down from the walls, red glowing eyes in the dark, weird dreams where i am killing my mother and brother and laughing hysterically and waking up laughing.

Anyway i wonder what your take is on it, and maybe directions in how to investigate such a thing, would an attached spirit still be around this long after i moved out, or maybe even followed me? (about 15-16 years ago this happened)
I am totally novice when it comes to magick , spirits etc so i do not know what is possible and not.

Thanks for your time
Best Regards

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Do you have any experience in magick at all, or are you a complete beginner?

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@Ivargokrast If you still think that those entities are with you I think you should ask them what they want from you! Maybe they need your help or maybe you should banish them. Maybe you are calling them ,because you expect them to be near you all the time…

First of all im sorry about your mother
Do you see those dreams now? If you feel its all negative energy then you should banish those spirits
Im not sure that they can follow you but once they get attached and find a good host to perform their tricks they wont let go
Same thing With your mother
I think you should banish them all for good

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Thank you!

Well i’ve mostly read abit. Tried a couple of things (mostly sigils and some basics) but everything takes a stop when i get to visualization my mind seems to be very bad at it, sometimes i can see faint silhouettes of things but i cant really “decide” what to see.
There is so much talk about seeing things in your mind (seems to be one of the most important aspects when i read about it) that i have almost given up, tried dot meditation to help stimulate and a couple other things without success (maybe i am just impatient).
So i guess you could say beginner that have read some about the occult a couple years

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How would i go about that? Just ask them right out , or do i need something like a ouiji board? Do you mean i could be summoning them without me knowing?

Thank you Hirosh :slightly_smiling_face: No i have stopped dreaming about killing my relatives, but when i do dream they are still weird af, Always seem to be fighting or running away from something. I did feel something a couple nights ago there was a presence behind me and i kinda of froze not sure but i didnt want to move for an hour or so, i have had things around me before but this one was different.
How would i go about doing that?
Would i do like cleansing with sage and uncrossing and stuff like that?

Understand If it may make you feel frustrated, was the same for me for a long time. Visualisations is usually described as seeing with the minds eye and many text talks about it like its allmost normal seeing but adding a filter so you may see things in the normal world that other without the filter may not. That frustrated me since i couldnt ”see” the things before me, then i believe it was EA in one of the videos not sure thou but source was Balg that said that seeing it as clear as with your normal eyes then you are a gifted seer and thats not everyone for the rest of us visualisation is simply having the picture in the mind like a fantasy, once that got cleared i realised i been doing it right but only expecting different results. Then after that i started to not focus pictures and such but only letvthem come to me.
So im sure you Will get there, be patient and Dont give up thats the hardest thing.
The biggest difference between a master and apprentice is that the master have failed Moré times then the apprentice has even tried.i

@Ivargokrast The first thing you must try is just say out loud what you want! But you must believe that you have the power to do that! I have done that before with great success! I believe that we create our fears around us ,it’s like when you are really afraid that something bad will happen…BOOM…it happens! I don’t think that sage would help in your case…so someone better than me has to tell you about banishing!

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Hey Grimner, glad that i am not the only one ! So if i understand what you said correctly, you aren’t forcing anything into your mind, you just let it ‘flow’ ? I am thinking however about some spell i came across some time ago, a protection spell where you had to visualise a white/mirror-ish orb around you, the problem for me is that i can’t get colours into my mind, i can see the orb but not around ‘me’

Hmmm i will do that and see what results i have. Yea you might be right , i am abit unsure about the unseen since i can’t really see them. Don’t know what is possible and not.
But you gave me something to ponder about thank you !
Maybe i have to resolve the things in my mind before i can take control… hmm

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@Ivargokrast Be careful with the mirror protection…if it is the one I use you should be really clear in your mind…otherwise you keep near you and you also reflect again and again all the bad things you are thinking…i hope you can understand me…my english is not perfect!

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@lady_Gini ooh, okey didn’t know it could be a double edged sword !
No worries i am not native english speaker either , as long as we can understand each other its all good :slightly_smiling_face:

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What i meant when inlet it flow is depending on what i do. For spells when o have a clear picture as the one you described aim to do as the spell tell you unless your instinct may lead you somewhere else but that Will come with experience.
Do you try to see the pen around you or do you picture yourself in your mind inside the bubble? Might sound confussing but the first example inne-SM you try to look around you and envision it and in thenother you view yourself like watching a 3d person game character.

A basic thing then to work on colour and vividness would be fantasy and daydreaming in as clear pictures you can.

Well i am trying to do as your second example, seeing myself in the orb, but can only get the orb there. So the first example would be that i see it ‘around’ me in the mind? Like if i would look with my eyes open and something would be around me? Or am i not understanding?

No thats on the point. The first example is harder and not something that will happend to anyone, and it may even be rare. Them i guess there Willie some that Will see something but not as clear as normal sight, me personaly see things every know and then but sadlybits not like having that cool filter for me.
Well then you are making progress seeing yourself is a little tricky since it tells the mind basicly that you need to be seperated from the body and well that confuses the mind. Start by seeing a basic human shaped object, then as that gets easier start giving it some of your features so that in the end it Will be a little statue of you and then eventually you Will start to tell your mind that its actually you, start to know its you. So small steps at a time. For some its easier when objects are moving a little to hell keep focus and some like themself be completly still so experiment and see what works for you.

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@Grimner Aah alright good :slightly_smiling_face: Hmm i see , that filter sounds interesting. Hard to wrap the head around the idea since i’ve never experienced it (what it would look like). I know i can feel alot like when someone is angry. (usually strong emotions)
Yeeah i can see that would be a problem for the mind, i will try your advice. Thank you !