I went through some massive depression and self-esteem issues in my teens as well. One day it occurred to me that, of course I had low self esteem. I was a piece of shit. I didn’t work, hadn’t bothered to even get a driver’s license, I was a fatass and didn’t even try to do anything about it, and most of my free time was spent smoking myself stupid.
I realized that if I wanted to feel better about myself, I had to have a reason to feel better about myself. Having a healthy and strong self-esteem and confidence isn’t a given, like so many think it is. You don’t get to feel good about yourself if you’re not doing anything to earn that.
So, step 1 was joining the Marine Corps. Sure, when all was said and done it was a stupid decision… way to automatonical for me. However, it did get me in shape, and taught me skills that a man should know, and challenged me in several ways.
Once I left the Marines (2 years reserve, because of special circumstances that I won’t bore you with here), I started using magick to make my life amazing. I got the exact girlfriends that I wanted, always had fun and decent paying jobs, educated myself in money management so I’d be able to buy the things that I wanted without ever borrowing a dime. Healthy eating, regular exercise (1 hour a day, 4-5 days a week, with hiking, swimming, and casual walks on the weekends), great work ethic, and caring for myself in general gave me a lot to feel good about.
Not to mention being able to use ritual magick to manifest anything that I want in my life!
Being a loser, or having low self-esteem, has little to do with who you fundamentally are (for most people), but has to do with 1. The things you think about; 2. The people you associate with; and 3. The things you actually DO day in and day out.
So, get off your ass and get to work, son! You have an Empire to build!