Need some advice before I start my work

New Magician Help & Introductions
1

After years reading books of the occult I want to start practicing, but I think I maybe have some mental problems that I need to fix before. I had low self-esteem since I was 12 years old (I’m 22 now). But it developed into depression in my late teenage years. I wonder do I need to get rid of my depression and the low self-esteem before I start my occult journey?

I’ve read somewhere its dangerous to practice the occult if you don’t have a stable mentality, and something it would attract harmful entities to me.

I was thinking of starting with Mastering Divination course with the BALG ebook, and when I´m ready The Mastering Evocation course.

//Fluff

2

Hello welcome to the forums, knowing you have depression its the 1st step to overcome it. Are you going to a specialist? I mean psychoanalist? He can guide you to the steps you need to overcome it and find the root of the depression.

3

Regression meditation will help, but there are also entities that can aid you in this. Both Azazel and Astaroth have helped me immensely with issues of self esteem, anxiety and depression

4

Just my two cents worth: I would jump right in and ask entities to help you with your perceived problems. You will most probably find it a very empowering and liberating experience. Demons and angels are there to help, and only want the best for you. I think problems could only arise for someone who goes into this believing that they are working with evil, corrupt forces.

I can’t vouch for the divination course (as I don’t have it), but can recommend the Mastering Evocation course as it starts off with the basics and becomes gradually more advanced. I do have BALG, but do think the Mastering Evocation course is more suitable as you are visually mentored and guided through the necessary steps, and it is very reassuring. Good luck!

5

As far as the depression goes try meditating on it,and you may receive the answer to reversing those feelings into possitive energy.With the low self esteem I struggle with it too,but have found that you MUST go into each and every ritual with no acceptance of failure lest you be internaly defeated before lighting the first candle.If you go into ritual with even one thought of it as a non-success you won’t be able to shake that doubt the entire ritual.You must go into these practices knowing you are God,and as God you create whatever you want with no problem.

6

You choose to have low self esteem and be depressed. If fear is already ruling your life then you are destine to be destroyed. For that is what you need in order to overcome your problems. I say make the conscious choose to be totally annihilated. Jump in with both feet and strengthen yourself. Command your fear and you shall be free from it!

[quote=“Fluff, post:1, topic:1575”]After years reading books of the occult I want to start practicing, but I think I maybe have some mental problems that I need to fix before. I had low self-esteem since I was 12 years old (I’m 22 now). But it developed into depression in my late teenage years. I wonder do I need to get rid of my depression and the low self-esteem before I start my occult journey?

I’ve read somewhere its dangerous to practice the occult if you don’t have a stable mentality, and something it would attract harmful entities to me.

I was thinking of starting with Mastering Divination course with the BALG ebook, and when I´m ready The Mastering Evocation course.

//Fluff[/quote]

7

I went through some massive depression and self-esteem issues in my teens as well. One day it occurred to me that, of course I had low self esteem. I was a piece of shit. I didn’t work, hadn’t bothered to even get a driver’s license, I was a fatass and didn’t even try to do anything about it, and most of my free time was spent smoking myself stupid.

I realized that if I wanted to feel better about myself, I had to have a reason to feel better about myself. Having a healthy and strong self-esteem and confidence isn’t a given, like so many think it is. You don’t get to feel good about yourself if you’re not doing anything to earn that.

So, step 1 was joining the Marine Corps. Sure, when all was said and done it was a stupid decision… way to automatonical for me. However, it did get me in shape, and taught me skills that a man should know, and challenged me in several ways.

Once I left the Marines (2 years reserve, because of special circumstances that I won’t bore you with here), I started using magick to make my life amazing. I got the exact girlfriends that I wanted, always had fun and decent paying jobs, educated myself in money management so I’d be able to buy the things that I wanted without ever borrowing a dime. Healthy eating, regular exercise (1 hour a day, 4-5 days a week, with hiking, swimming, and casual walks on the weekends), great work ethic, and caring for myself in general gave me a lot to feel good about.

Not to mention being able to use ritual magick to manifest anything that I want in my life!

Being a loser, or having low self-esteem, has little to do with who you fundamentally are (for most people), but has to do with 1. The things you think about; 2. The people you associate with; and 3. The things you actually DO day in and day out.

So, get off your ass and get to work, son! You have an Empire to build!

2 Likes
8

Thank you all for your advice, it have been really helpful to me.

All I wonder now is, do I need to start with divination before I go on to evocation. Or can I start with studying both at the same time (Im really fascinated by evocation) ?

Best regards.

/Fluff

9

My opinion is that you can work divination side by side with evocation, the two go hand in hand. If you want to start divination first that is good, but working both at the same time will bring benefit to each one as they are closely related, and both skills can develop together. Though if you have little or no experience in divination, you skills in evocation may take a hair longer to develop. Divination isn’t just about interpreting tarot or runes; it’s about creating a link into the whole and seeing the information you need within it. You can work both at the same time, and I would recommend doing so, just make sure that you don’t leave divination behind in favor of evocation, as you really will need both eventually for a more complete development.

10

to followon and perhaps add-to Anderrje’s comment (vs contrast in anyway)… one could interpret Divination needs to be done “first”…
-but in terms of the Evocation process (in its few different aspects), in EA’s BALG method, starts with Substantial Contact (the first steps are sensing fdbk from the Entity.
I’d think on the days after choosing/deciding to do a Rite, but Before the Beginning of a Rite… thus feel linkage to leading up to, and then when/whilie setting up one’s Place of Working (whatever is used for, even if “nothing” but settingaside a place)- then let set while you goaway then return to… that few hrs on the day of seems to ‘charge up-Mind and Place a bit’… during that time and while setting up… contact with Entity felt? any nudges from…
Thus the idea of starting the actual Rite (lighting the candles) before first ‘Contacting’ (whatever that means) and getting a sense of response (even if fully unspoken-response… but a presence and contact vs a refusal?)… could be but different than my percep… so if do that way, have an increasing sense of connection before what could be considered the start… thus the happens differently (and one may have altered or adjusted on the way there -vs at that pt wonder- will I get a response?) … then fully focused on Th-G… jump to Rapture… -so not perhaps using Divination tools? (although you may, as some use tools in Evo rite, mirror/fire… etc)… either way, that sense of sensing contact and fdbk (as subtle-limited as warmer-colder or yes thats it, vs no-less contact… on up to more detailed input)… having a link and some sense of back&forth… prior to (while if Div is seen as using Specific tools and/or more detailed Visions/symbols insight… that could appear to differ; thus would be either-or… which first, vs developmental steps/using fundamental principles)