I can’t take this anymore, I think about my family, but I’m highly suicidal, for the most part, because after the craziness I went through with parasites I cannot connect to my spiritual guides any longer, I have been trying to evoke Lucifer and Michael but every time I try I cannot seem to get anywhere, these days I’m not doing anything but watching videos and smoking, my life is seriously in the shit, ever since I went through a kundalini syndrome years ago my life had changed forever, now I’m broken because I cannot feel any spiritual support or bliss by my guides, I need help because I’m seriously close to putting a bullet in my brain, I hate feeling like this because I love life but my spiritual path is what gave me purpose
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I’m sorry to hear your going through a hard time.
If your feeling suicidal I would suggest getting help. There’s only so much magick, and online forums can do for you.
You mentioned you’ve been trying to evoke Lucifer and Micheal but nothing happens? Are you not sensing them? If your evoking (and doing all the correct steps) then I’m sure they are there. You might not sense them though.
I’d suggest if your really feeling sucidial, and feel you might harm yourself. To find someone IN REAL LIFE to talk to. Or seek help in real life. We are always here to support you (BALG forum) but there’s only so much we can do.
Isolation will not help either, so finding people in real life can really help. Balance is good.
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If you’re are having thoughts of hurting yourself, it is important that you discuss them with someone who is qualified to help, such as a crisis helpline in your country. Please visit this link to find the appropriate number:
If you feel that you may be an immediate danger to yourself, please call your local emergency number or go to your local hospital emergency room right away. If you are unsure of the right number to call, please visit this link and call the number next to the country where you are located:
Please seek help from a medical professional if that’s where you’re at right now, your thinking may be overwhelmed by your current situation, so reaching out for help in the offline world is important.
Here are some additional contacts, in case they help you or someone you know:
US: 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)
US LGBTQ Youth (the Trevor Project): 1-866-488-7386
US Veterans Crisis Line: 1-800-273-8255 (press 1)
Canada: 1-800-784-2433
International: Befrienders Worldwide http://www.befrienders.org/
Australia: 13-11-14 (lifeline) or 1-800-55-1800 (kids help line for 5-25 yrs old)
UK Samaritans: 116 123 (UK) & 116 123 (ROI) free of charge, or e-mail: [email protected]
Almost every country has a similar crisis line and people who are waiting to hear you out, and help as much as possible.
This might also help, if you can’t talk to anyone right now, no matter how supportive:
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I don’t know what to say other than what Lady Eva said.
Seek help. Don’t be ashamed to do that.
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i have, theres only so much help I can get though, been through lots of abuse ya know?
i used to be able to speak with them and feel the love of Lucifer, but I dont feel them like I used to after the abuse Ive been through, I hate this
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Are the parasites cleaned up?
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You were at this point before, weren’t you.
You managed to leave that behind for a while.
The fact that you cannot feel your guides does not mean your spiritual path has ended.
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In my experience, it’s harder to stay “in tune” with the spiritual world when your stressed out. Go and take care of yourself, even if that means getting help.
Lucifer and the spirits aren’t going anywhere, take care of yourself first.
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they are, but they damaged me i think
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yeah but it just hurts a lot
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I know.
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Parasites suck. I was dealing with them for a little while and they can definitely inhibit you spiritually. With that said, part of opening your senses back up is about belief and even imagination. Michael W. Ford talks about this in some of his books. I know it might sound silly but try your best to believe that your senses aren’t shut and use your imagination when dealing with spirits. It might seem “fake” at first but the power of your mind will manifest these things into reality since spirits are both internal and external entities. Also, like I’ve said before, please don’t do anything to harm yourself, You’re stronger than that as a person. You’d also be making a lot of people sad if you did hurt yourself. Not to mention, it’s not a good way out since you’d also be accumulating karmic debt. We all love you and care about you, try to keep your chin up my friend.
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I would definitely recommend getting help as well. As far as healing goes, perhaps focusing more on energy working as opposed to spirits while getting the mundane methods taken care of would be beneficial.
There have been times when the spirits i work with, including my ancestors, took a step back because I needed to get things done on my own. They were still there, but were giving me room to grow.
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you really think that? sometimes people just cant handle it
Thanks, i will try
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I mean, aside from the most extreme circumstances, like for example someone being held captive and tortured every day, with suicide being the only way out. I think for the most part you might just end up in a shittier life on your next incarnation if you do that sort of thing.
You can always send me a PM whenever you need to talk about this stuff.
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Not medical advice at all and should not replace getting help. But as someone who was deeply suicidal as well, here are some things I learned on my path out.
This is going to sound a bit cheesy, and a little off topic, but be mindful of what kind of music you listen to while going through this. A hard lesson I learned through years of depression is that we become what we consume in terms of influence. It does not necessarily have to be overly happy music, unless you want it to be, but make sure it has a message that lifts you up as opposed to bring you down.
I actually found myself listening to “The Light” by Disturbed constantly during the last round where it really had a hold on me.
Learning how to change the narrative of how you approach this particular emotion has been the most successful way to heal on my end, although it may or may not work for you.
For example, with my depression, I stopped allowing myself to view it as this cross to bear and began to view it as an advisor telling me that there is a problem. I don’t allow it to be some omniscient god that has all the answers, but as a warning that I need to take some time to examine myself. When I find out where the problem lies, I make a list of things I need to do to mend it and begin immediately, even if it is something small.
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