Today I decided to start pulling a card for myself each morning and documenting it. I’ve always been terrible at staying consistent so I’m hoping putting it here will help me out with that! I have been interested and using a few decks for the past two years but it’s been very off and on and I have A LOT to learn still. Hopefully this will be be a good spot to look back on to see growth and proving to myself that I can do something and not fall off.
So first: I will be using my Macabre Tarot deck. My boyfriend got this for me and at first I thought it was more for aesthetics or show because it comes in a coffin shaped box that creaks when you open it🤣 BUT as I have used it I have come to really enjoy it. It says it’s a deck to “explore your shadow”. The art is absolutely beautiful as well💗
Second: I’ll also be pulling from The Spirit Messages oracle deck. I just got this so I’m not very familiar with it so we’ll see how it goes
I have another deck that is packed up somewhere from our move that I’ll most likely use as well once I find it! If anyone experienced with tarot has any tips or book recommendations or even wants to help me decipher my readings I would appreciate the help!
In my tarot deck they have used Crystals in place of Pentacles😌 I will come back to this in a bit when my little monster is asleep to decipher more. But as I was reading meanings on the 10 of Pentacles I came across this which resonated a lot❤️
Sure! I’ll pull one after I have fed and successfully put my baby down for a nap from which deck?
I’m just now learning so the best I can do is pull a card and give you a basic “this is what I feel and what Google says” though hopefully that’s fine! I need the practice tho
Spirits Message to you is Believe.
Hopefully you can read what the card says lol. The booklet also adds that the card should urge you to look at your beliefs and thought processes. You might be going through a time where you’re feeling a lot of self doubt and negative thoughts.
“Certain beliefs combined with the energy of your thoughts could be major factors that influence your life”.
The other card I pull was the Haunting of Bones reversed. This card is just this decks fancy name for the Queen of Wands. Now in my booklet the keyword for this card reversed says insecurity. Which I feel like says something seeing as what the oracle cards said. Maybe you’re currently feeling negative about a situation, something you’re going through. Keeping you closed off and holding your hand close to you and not really allowing others in. I’m not a pro at this but seeing this two together really astounded me and maybe you need to take some time to process what’s going on, believe in yourself more, and tackle any obstacles you are facing.
Other meanings of this card while just looking at Queen of Wands reversed says to stick to your rational side. There could be obstacles coming up and you need to push through. Or in a love situation that you’re being kind of selfish and demanding
For the fourth time probs, I’m still learning and have to look up most of this lmao😂 you can go check out the cards online and see if you see anything else and let me know if anything resonated! Thanks for letting me get some practice.
•Seek and Study•
These two I feel pair together nicely to say now is the time to expand my mind. I tend to dive into things, study up, and then burn out as I’m tired and preoccupied a lot of the time. I believe this goes in line with my spiritual path a lot. Lately I’ve been doing a lot of reading but not actually performing anything myself. I have spent a lot of time researching and not enough doing and just lately I found the Core Shamanism tutorial on here and was super interested. It was something I automatically felt drawn to and wanted to start learning more and hopefully begin practicing. I feel like this is a kick in the ass to actually DO IT.
Not only that but I was talking about going back to school to find a career I actually enjoy. Being a stay at home mother is amazing and I love it but I want to feel like I’m helping more. I know taking care of the home is helping but I enjoy having my own money, some time away, and feeling like I’m a provider too. Being able to spoil my baby with my own money, surprising my boyfriend with little things here and there like he does with me.
The little section in the oracle decks for Seek was more centered around finding my spirituality and remembering the journey I’m on. While study seemed to focus on broadening my mind and expanding my horizons. Overall I think it was a little nudge to get me going.
Tarot
Four of Crystals (Pentacles) Reversed
Ugh…
Keyword: Greed
While looking into other meanings and interpretations I came across a few other keywords. They were, “overcoming jealousy and release from past lovers”. There was also a bit about being in protection mode right now and craving a stable environment. This resonated with me, especially as of late.
I have had constant fear of relationships since I got out of an extremely abusive relationship. Now here I am 3 years later with with a wonderful man, who has made some mistakes but works everyday to better himself, and a baby. And every once in a while I will convince myself that somehow this will all end badly and my heart will be broken. Out of nowhere. I will immediately get defensive and start being a SHITHEAD in some weird attempt to protect myself from something that’s not happening. I am bringing trauma and unresolved issues into this and being unfair. I have talked about counseling and I think it’s really time to go and reflect and grow. I am grateful this deck has no issue telling you what’s up
Well. I’ve been more consistent with pulling but not with documenting or taking pictures🙄 hate that for me.
BUT
March 15, 2022 (I didn’t do the 13th because it was family day and my day to sleep in🤣 the 14th is written in my journal here so maybe I will post it later. This was supposed to help me with consistency so GOOD JOB ALICIA, already slacking)
This one made me smile… I was telling my boyfriend a few stories about my grandma that passed away before we met late last week and this card made me remember even though I can’t see her anymore, she’s still with me. Same with all of the family that I miss. It was a nice reminder and made me very happy. I want to develop my senses more in hopes that one day I’ll be able to communicate with them.
My booklets keyword for this was deception. Now, this card made me anxious since I have a habit of assuming the worst a lot and thinking people lie to me or that they put on masks. Trust and believing in others is something I have been trying to work on in most aspects of life. So I tried to calm my nerves in assuming the worst and look some more.
One site talked about how this card can signify that you aren’t taking the actions needed to manifest what you desire. Which is exactly what I’ve been struggling with. Exploring, reading, and learning. Saying I will do this and I want this but never actually DOING it. Being unfocused and having untapped talents. This resonated the most with me. That I have the wants and the desire but have not been taking action. I make excuses. I say I don’t have time because I spend all day with my baby. But I know that’s untrue. His dad gets home and I’m free to do as I please. Just as I could on his days off.
What have I been doing instead? Binging The Walking Dead he gets home and all I want to do is relax and have some time for myself. Where I’m not being crawled all over, changing diapers, and dealing with a teething 9 month old that’s super cranky and clingy atm. I will never get better and achieve the goals I have if I don’t work on them.
It’s interesting that on the 14th my spirit messages deck once again gave me seek and study. I thought maybe I hadn’t shuffled properly but I had pulled cards for both my son and my boyfriend before myself and they came again for me. It’s like I’m being told on two different decks to get it together and go after what I want. Not just say it. DO IT.
HahahahahahahahahahaHAHAHA
OOPS🥲
Me and my child have been in a constant state of moving around due to my bfs work, I have completely fallen off of this SMH
Being in a stable spot now however, I will be continuing with this no matter how rusty I feel
hopefully that’s fine! I need the practice tho
he gets home and all I want to do is relax and have some time for myself. Where I’m not being crawled all over, changing diapers, and dealing with a teething 9 month old that’s super cranky and clingy atm. I will never get better and achieve the goals I have if I don’t work on them.