My Personal Grimoire

I’m relatively new to magic and I decided a while ago that I was going to keep a journal. Only, I can’t keep a concrete one that my parents will find so I had to secretly write out my progress in code, in a notebook. This isn’t practical. I then realized that a lot of people might be going through the same issues I am, and that perhaps it might be a good idea to share my thoughts on here, with you guys, so that if any experienced practitioners have comments to make, to help us improve, they can!

My first entry is more of an introduction in the types of spells and magical practices I am interested in, and have put time into learning.

I love the idea of astral projection and using my astral body to help me with a few of my desires. I am aware that astral projection cannot replace spells and rituals, but it can work as an influence on the target. For example, entering a love interest’s dream, just making an appearance can get them thinking of you, which can raise the likelihood of your spells then working. Or, traveling to a place you really want to see… But the thing about astral projection is that your thoughts literally manifest before your eyes, so if you have anxiety or deep rooted fears, you probably shouldn’t be doing this right now. I have not yet succeeded in astral projection, but I did manage to get into a mild vibration stage. If I had just resisted the itch on my nose, I may have gone into the delta stage.

Intentions, Visualization and Manifestation. Apparently, this is one of the simpler ways to do a spell. Just by strongly visualizing something as if it has already happened, and it manifests. It’s used by a lot of people, strangely enough, and it usually works! I read on here about a girl who used intense visualization to get a guy to be nice towards her, but his version of nice was being super sexual and suddenly, she was stuck. So here’s my problem. I’m known in psychology to have high levels of Openness, which means my mind is super creative and artsy. I write stories, for crying out loud! That being said, my mind thinks of about ten different things at once, and practicing visualization has been a real challenge. To top it all off, I’ve read about a dozen articles and posts on what intentions mean, and watched 5 different videos explaining how to properly do it, but I still have no idea what it actually is. I get the concept, but how do you perform intentions, or channel them into your spells correctly? I’m super lost.

Spells and Rituals. Now, this is probably the most problematic with me because I have to keep everything a secret from the people I live with. They are extremely religious and would have my head if they found out I was even dabbling in this stuff. But, I am dedicated so… I do my best. That being said though, I don’t have access to a variety of ingredients and thus, I cannot perform a lot of spells that I actually need or want to do. I had to sneak two small candles and secretly buy a lighter to just do simple candle spells, and even then, you’re supposed to use matches, not a lighter. So, although there are a list of spells and rituals I would kill to perform properly, I don’t have the resources or liberty to do so. Which is ultimately why I’m mainly sticking with Visualization and Astral Projection.

What I found helps a lot is meditating daily. It’s funny, I was looking up mediation practices and found an article recently about Harry Styles talking about what he does during this quarantine (COVID-19). He says that every morning, he meditates. Which is basically the routine I got into, only I’m a night owl and I stay up all night till 7 -9 am. I meditate at around 3-5 am everyday and it’s helped me with the astral projection. Likewise, I find it slightly easier to focus my mind on a single thing for longer and longer each time.

I also try to find a way I can substitue the ingredients in spells with things I have at home. I read that witches in the older days used what they had, living on farms and all, herbology was their main resource. So, I go into my pantry or spice rack and then look up what spices or herbs have certain magical properties and in what areas, and I try to use those as substitutes. Or, I just pick another spell with ingredients I actually have.

To end this entry, I’m just going to say that despite the fact that I’m a ‘witch-baby’, I have a lot of faith in my own abilities and that with practice and training, I will be able to achieve my goals. That’s the whole point, isn’t it? That you need to practice to get good at something? I know for a fact that these work because I made a charm (it didn’t have an official name when I made it so I called it the attraction charm) and it worked beautifully! So, with practice, I am sure that I, and everyone else who is trying, will be able to do what they strive to do.

Thanks for reading!


Alright so this second entry is more of a surprised and amazed post!

So, as I mentioned in my first entry, I live in a home with very religious people. Now, because of this pandemic and this quarantine, they made talk to a priest over the phone. Now, I decided a long time ago that this priest was actually kind of awesome and I could be honest with him, so I told him about my meditation and my research on astral projection. I expected him to tell me not to do it and to avoid even researching things… but he didn’t! (To be fair, I didn’t tell him I wasn’t doing magic).

He actually told me that one of the Popes (the one who was known for his writing skills) wrote an entire book on astral projection and his experience with it, only, he called it ‘The Release of the Spirit’. See, I learned that Christians call the astral body, the spirit, which should have been obvious to me, but wasn’t.

The priest forwarded the book to me and advized me to read it and do more research on the dangers before attempting to do it myself. I mean… Can you believe that? A PRIEST gave me a book by a POPE that talks on astral projection!

Of course, the book itself talks about the spiritual life and health and stuff, but the sections on releasing the spiritual body from the physical body and using that to enhance your spiritual life were actually really informative and good!

On other notes, after reading the book, I actually think I felt my astral body start to leave my physical body because I was relating my research to stuff I’ve been taught as a child. It makes it easier when you’re comfortable and actually doing what you know. Unfortunately, someone made a really loud sound that scared me back into my physical body so… I didn’t actually get to disconnect fully. But it’s progress!!

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Okay so, third entry, and I have some exciting news!

I finally managed to sort of separate my astral body from my psychical body. I say sort of because it was mainly my top half and my bottom half was still attached. I am still trying to figure out how to get out completely. But, here’s what happened! I noticed that I was suddenly sitting and holding a book. Don’t ask what the book was or what it said, I have no idea! But I looked up to the ceiling and it was my room, and I looked down to my body and I was laying down with my eyes closed. It was weird, but amazing at the same time!

I got there by putting on a 7 hour bilunear beats video on and just making it quiet enough not to disturb my concentration. I allowed my body to drift off into sleep and started focusing on my very large teddybear. Yes, I am 19 and I still have a teddy bear. Anyway, I managed to get into the delta stage but I cannot figure out how to stay in it quite yet. It’s been bothering me for a few nights now but all the other threads and research that I’ve done says to keep trying, you won’t get it right away or every time.

Practice makes perfect, am I right?

In regards to spellcasting, I opted for something very small and tried also directing the energy in my spell’s direction to make it work. Let me explain. I desperately like this one guy (almost every person’s problem on here, as I’ve come to learn) and I get the sense that he likes me too, but he’s not very verbal about it. I had previously used a charm (I can put the details in another thread) and he seemed to genuinely be shy and nervous around me, like when someone has a ‘school-girl-crush’. Adding on the fact that we are isolated and we were supposed to meet up before this quarantine happened, it’s been getting on my nerves how little he actually uses his phone. So, I tried a ‘contact me’ spell that only requires visualization and intention. (I’ve also recently discovered how to properly channel intentions thanks to the many threads on this site). So, what did I do to make it work in my favour? Well, I wanted to hear his voice, and that’s what most of my intention was aimed towards. Originally, I wanted hm to call me. So, I asked about something he knew that I didn’t, and asked if he could teach me. It started off with him just texting me things, but when I yelled out to my phone ‘Let me hear your voice, Goddamnit!’, he ended up sending about 10 instructional videos my way and I got to enjoy the sound of his voice for a while. It was lovely.
I’m still working on finding a proper spell for my situation/one that I can actually perform in the limited time that I have with my little experience. But in the meantime, these little spells are working beautifully and I am thankful that I had patience and practiced.

All in all, this thread was simply a way to say that practicing and being patience (and having a crap-load of faith in yourself) really does pay off in the end, which is why I will continue to learn and practice from the amazing people on this site. Thank you, guys.

Oh! I almost forgot. Once I am confident in my mundane spellcasting abilities (although, there’s nothing mundane about it), I would love to get into demon work. I’ve read a couple of threads on here with people’s experiences and how-to’s, and it seems as though Goetia demons are my kind of entities. (Yes, I will do a lot more research and make sure I summon/invoke the right demon for my intentions).


Fourth Entry - Results!

So… no, I’m not able to astral project yet. No, I’m connecting to demons on a personal level yet, but I have just experienced one of the best conversations in my life. Remember that guy I’m always talking about?

I don’t know if it was the subliminals, the sugar doll I made at 11:45 pm, or the request I gave to Asmodeus (I tried invoking him for about 30 minutes and started seeing the sigil move a bit so assumed he was listening), but it worked!

At first, it was just a question about school, but then we ended up talking for at least 2 hours (through text) about literally anything and everything. It wasn’t what I had visualized, but it was still something, so progress!

He didn’t want to stay up at first but ended up just going with it and we joked around for almost the enture time. So… yes. Patience and Spells do work. So do demons, (I thank you Asmodeus for being so incredibly awesome and working so quickly!). I think maybe it was the fact that I knew exactly what I wanted to happen and I was starting to get frustrated with not getting any results, but I was very focused and I could feel the energy surging through me. The intent was clear, and so was the power. I don’t know how to explain it quite yet, but it’s amazing.

Once you start to see results to your efforts and spells, it fills you up with such joy and happiness. Trust me, as a girl who didn’t think magic was real 8 months ago, I can safely say that patience, persistence and devotion to actually learning the art is rewarding.

I will continue to learn, more so with the resources this forum and site delivers because they really are informative, but also with whatever hoodoo and voodoo spells I can find that are from a reputable source. I think I decided that I would focus mostly in Hoodoo and Voodoo rather than dabble in everything, but also incorporate Asmodeus into my practices because he truly is a wonderful being. I hope to be able to hear him someday.

This is less of an entry and more of a note, because I tried again to come into contact with Asmodeus last night (more like 5 am) and I think it genuinely worked this time. I used some advice someone wrote in another post on this forum, where you remember the sigil, place it under your pillow, and then listen to his enn while visualizing the sigil. I can’t exactly burn things or light candles for extended periods of time, so I didn’t bother. But… like 15-20 minutes through (I think, I was too focused on the meditation to really know how long it lasted) the air started getting heavy, then light. It was warm, and the harder I focused on the sigil, the more I started to smell some type of rock burning (brimstone?). I don’t know really. So I assumed he was there. I was laying down, so I asked him if he could show me that he’s there, in any way. I felt like someone was tugging my left forearm. That in and of itself got me super excited and I lost my focus, so I went in again with the enn chanting (youtube) and the meditation and I made sure to acknowledge but not fangirl when I felt the air get really heavy and that smell came back (it was really faint to be honest and it was constant, it came and went). So they I just shut off, and let my mind talk with itself without any filtration.

The conversation basically just consisted of me asking to be his student because I want to learn, but also for him to show me his power so that I can trust in him, and then we can create a bond or whatever. He laughed at me when I asked him to teach me. I still don’t know why, but he did. I asked if it was because of my extremely Christian background and he just went silent. I had to call out his name, his enn and think of his sigil really hard again for a while before he came back and continued to talk to me. I don’t know if he agreed to help me or not, but I told him he can feel free to stick around whenever he liked, so long as he didn’t go near anyone else living in the home. I think he agreed. But I’m not sure.

Obviously, I say I think because I’m still working on being able to fully see/feel him being there and I’m still working on being able to hear him. I know he knows that much because that’s one of the first things I said to him, that I apologize for how much of a beginner I am, but that I am willing to put in the effort and work required to be his ‘student/friend’. I think he liked that.

I also read that Asmodeus likes to test people who invoke him. I don’t know if this was a test, but when I first started to feel him, I felt all shaken and literally trembling. I absolutely hate that feeling because it brings back some PTSD memories. But I kept going, and internally told him “Look, I’m going to try to contact you and make you know that I’m worth it whether you scare me or not”.

I know that he was there, whether I had direct contact with him or not, which is super encouraging to keep going and keep trying. I think, based on how I feel, he likes the fact that I’m trying and that I’m not giving up. I’ve read about Goetic demons and Asmodeus clicked with me aftr my research, so I hope I do end up being able to speak with him the way all of you (who have contact with him) are doing.

PS> I think he’s trying to teach me patience, since it’s something I suck at. So if that’s the case, then onward!

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Entry 5

I’m just going to be highlighting some major questions that I have and hopefully, by the time I finish writing my grimoire (Book of Shadows) I’ll have them answered. I’m aware that there’s a search engine, but I can’t always find the answers to my questions by using it. Nevertheless, I’m still doing research into my questions so I know some of them I will find when I look them up on this forum. I’m saying this because I’ve had a bit of backlash (“use the search engine”) when I’ve asked questions on other threads, and sometimes I find the answer, sometimes I don’t.

The Questions

  1. Astral Travel/Projection seems like a simple concept. I have the technique and idea pinned down basically, but I still can’t seem to get into it. What am I doing wrong?
  2. I think I’m getting a better handle on invocation and I’ve contacted Asmodeus, but I still want to learn more about how I can enhance the experience, make it more clear (hear him).
  3. When I was younger, and to this day, I have a bit of clairensence. I can sense if something is going to happen, or what a person is like simply by meeting them once/I just get a feeling. How can I use this in my spells?
  4. What in the world does Mantra do? I get that it’s a chant like thing in Sanskrit that can help you enter the mind of the individual and place a thought (somewhat, not exactly) but I still don’t understand how it works.
  5. I don’t have colored candles and I have no idea how to tell if they are natural or not. Nor can I light a match so I use a lighter. Does the color of the candle really matter that much as long as my intentions are clear? And does lighting a match really differ from using a lighter that drastically?
  6. I understand what intentions are, I understand what visualization is, I understand the Law Of Attraction. How can I practice them? Particularly intentions. How I can ‘practice’ feeling the manifestation as though it has already happened?
  7. I’m very interested in love, sex, goetic demons, astral travel, spiritual ascent and herbs when it comes to spell casting. Do I fit into any category of ‘witch’ or am I too broad (diverse)? Should I stick to one practice only?

These are the questions I ask myself when I’m looking things up or studying them, so if anyone wants to answer, feel free, by all means, much appreciated. But if no one answers them, that’s fine too.

On another note, I’m currently monitoring a spell (candle magic) I’m doing and here’s kind of what’s going on.

I took a white candle (it’s the only candles I have) and I inscribed an inverted pentagram, Asmodeus’ sigil, a ‘Call Me’ sigil I created, a ‘Sexual Desire’ sigil I created, the full name and birthdate of the target. I also wrote a petition paper with the target’s name 3 times and then the ‘commands’. I have my Asmodeus Sigil and Enn written down that I place before all my spells (I meditate on it always), and I have the sugar doll of the target that I previously made placed in front of the candle. I Coated (rubbed, activated… idk) the candle with bend-over oil I had made and anchored the candle on a plate where the petition paper and the sugar doll are placed. As I’m doing my little ‘prayer’, the wick makes this weird shape that I just can’t ignore. It looks like two different things to me, either a) a woman holding a baby or b) a woman having sex… The wick then turns into a rose… so I’m assuming it’s the sex thing. Here’s a picture just so you guys can see what I’m seeing.

So… I’m not too worried about that, it is intended to be a sex spell anyway, but I just thought having your opinions might be a good idea?

Also, Happy Beltane! I love this community so much and I feel like I’ve found a deeper appreciation for myself and the mystical world (it’s just what I call it) because of all of you. Thank you for being awesome and keep discussing amazing things because I’m learning so much!

Blessings, Much Love,… Hail Satan… everything else!