My Path (the sequel)

Journals, Group Rituals & Free Readings
67

Working with the navel chakra I notice some past memories come up. I performed a session of revision on them. I feel like a lot more of the negativity has been cleared.

I’ve been feeling a strong urge to join a magical order lately, at least for a little while.

I’m currently trying to find ones in California. The Temple of Set seems to be my first victim, (cough cough), choice.

I probably won’t get anything valuable out of it. I just hope to meet some other practitioners.

On a more exciting note I connected with Amaymon. Apparently, he’s interested in being a patron / guide to me, along with Leviathan. I evoked him to ask some questions and train spirit communication.

He took a bit to manifest but I felt myself actually entering Rapture, with a focus on him.

At first he appeared in a humanoid, monstrous form, but he slowly took on a human form. I saw a vision of his face, it was a bit terrifying.

I asked him many things, among which, why he was interested in being my patron, I got the feeling that he had a connection to my higher self or something.

I channeled a sigil from him but we both felt it could have been better.

To channel the sigil I attempted to undergo partial possession with him. I wasn’t able to go all the way but Amaymon gave me some tips along the way.

I felt so powerful. I actually spontaneously started to laugh like a madman. Afterwards I felt exhausted.

The rest of the day was extremely chaotic and weird coincidences occurred.

68

I acquired the Rider-Waite deck and practiced with it a bit.

I also performed an invocation of Uiazel and asked him to subject me to his alchemy.

During invocation I caught a glimpse of his form. He still appeared as a humanoid figure made of light, but I noticed he has something on his forehead.

I got the impression that he was the size of a galaxy, although that is a completely subjective metric.

The actual invocation felt amazing. I could feel my whole body glowing with white energy.

Yet another chaotic day occurred, it was almost as if an external force was preventing me from relaxing. It may be the invocation.

The angels of omnipotence really fascinate me. They aren’t omnipotent of course, but their nature and energy feels so unrestrained.

69

More practice. Nothing too remarkable. I also decided to visit my inner temple as described by Christopher Penczak.

Blaze and I met at the world tree and walked into a gateway. My inner temple has about three levels, the first is a ritual circle, with some water flowing, the second is a study, and a library. The third is on a mountaintop, with a forest and another ritual circle. There’s also a pond there.

On the first level I met a weird spirit that showed up. They said they were like the spirit of the temple. I got the name Arkvaris from them. It sounded like Arkvaris can’t really do much besides keep the temple clean.

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70

I realize I’m getting very interested in doing magick, working with spirits, evocation etc. I don’t want to forget that I am magick. That’s why I’m just doing the AOO operation, to limit my spirit work to mainly alchemy.

Alongside the AOO operation I’m doing the matrix model.

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72

I am progressing excellently on my experiments with manifestation.
I’ve been keeping an increasingly long document of manifestation successes.

A key state I focus on is love, especially towards friends. I am working towards a life with less hatred and resentment, to great success.

If I can love myself and others, I can live with peace and joy: Which is probably one of the highest forms of magick.

Another key takeaway for me is the mindset of a master when faced with problems. The dormant manifestor will think negatively when they encounter a problem, then later they might come back and manifest something, making something a bit larger of a problem than necessary.

The awakened manifestor, the master / adept, upon thinking of an issue, will mentally notice that it’s resolved and forget about it. Afterwards reality conforms to this conception.

I recently read the Tao Te Ching and tried to interpret it in the light of the Law, connecting that with taoism a bit.

After reading about leading without force I felt some gears start to turn in my brain. I felt as if I touched upon the boundary of understanding it / practicing it fully.

For the next couple hours I felt extremely relaxed and balanced. If I walked somewhere, I’d do it smoothly and gently, if I encountered some problem, I’d remain calm and solve it.

I’m thankful for the experience because I now have a benchmark for what this state feels like.

I’m incorporating this into my practice of the law. An idea starts with yang, a vision, to manifest that, I have to be like water, yin, and mirror / become that image. I don’t have to stress or overthink, just allow myself to enter that state of being.

This provides some explanation for the importance of relaxation in manifesting techniques. It allows one to more deeply accept a state.

73

I am experimenting with subliminals again. This time I’ve done a lot more research so I’m a bit more optimistic.

My HS’s advice seems to be accurate, with less being more when it comes to subs. I am also testing visual subs.

Results:

After 2ish weeks I’ve noticed some results for my silent subliminal, which has only two suggestions. I’ve noticed the most from the visual subliminal, which is for motivation / practice.

I know that subs work, I am aware of the scientific evidence. Now what about mindless affirmations said consciously? Anecdotal evidence from others indicates yes on that as well. It seems like it takes a very long time though. I’ll pass on this technique.

I read u/EdwardArtSupplyHands’ posts for the first time and they have been very helpful. His I Am The Creator meditation is especially great.

I think once I finish working with the AOO pathworking I’m not going to work with spirits for material stuff anymore. I’ve gotten good results from them but it seems the law is my optimal path forward for now.

Manifestation results:

  1. Self love has resulted in me having a much more positive outlook on life, I feel way better about everything. Negative intrusive thoughts have been reduced like 95%.
  2. Self-concept work on my beliefs towards others has caused people I interact with regularly to like and care about me a lot more.
  3. My luck has increased / things work out in my favor more often.
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74

It’s a bit quick for an update but I had an interesting experience last night and also had some other stuff to talk about.

First, I read this book about letting go / releasing negative states, it’s written by David Hawkins. This might be the largest turning point in my practice besides learning about the law of assumption.

The essence of releasing is observing negative feelings and emotions as the I-AM presence, just allowing it to exist.

With it I have been able to completely release several negative memories revision was unsuccessful with.

Yesterday I decided to just release all day, any time I had a negative thought I would just let it be. By the end of the day something just clicked and I felt some major ego dissolution.

I felt so peaceful. I also felt like much more was possible, I was just naturally powerful.

I got the feeling that if I were to stand in the middle of a crosswalk and release my anxiety of getting hit, I would be untouchable. Of course I didn’t test this, but it was an interesting state of mind.

As I fit this into my personal viewpoint I conclude that release is the reverse of manifestation. It’s unmanifesting something. By no longer identifying with a feeling it is released.

It’s so liberating to realize that I don’t have to feel the pain of my negative states anymore, as long as I maintain awareness.

75

After a lot more practice I can say I’ve totally gotten releasing down. It is by far my most effective technique / perspective on changing the self.

Through using it, I’ve experienced my shadow self, all my repressed emotions and negative feelings, and come to realize that it has been behind so much of my suffering.

I’ve lived in fear and anxiety towards my own success for a long time. These feelings express themselves subtly through self sabotage and other behaviors.

This leads into my next pathworking - shadow work and blockage removal. I’ve already started this one, and I’ll update it here.

My work so far:

  1. I released a very strong aversion to releasing, it caused me to procrastinate and put it off.
  2. I’ve totally forgiven someone I’ve hated for years, everything collapsed when I realized that I projected blame onto them for doing the right thing when I was totally in the wrong.
  3. I released much of my anxiety towards confrontation in a work setting.
76

I’ve been practicing releasing a lot. I focused specifically on two larger areas of my life over the last couple days. I’ll talk about the second a bit.

I had an extremely strong desire for success in this area, but it was repressed heavily. I believe this strong wish / hope is responsible for my lack of success.

There are also some limiting beliefs I’ve found, but they were dealt with quickly.

78

More of the same stuff pretty much. I’ve had some very interesting dreams lately.

I also have gotten pretty great results from one of my subliminal suggestions, it’s for the formation of a new habit.

79

My practice has been going very well these last couple weeks. I’ve been reading through the Seth Material lately and it goes pretty well with the law of assumption.

I ended up taking shrooms again yesterday. I remember it much more clearly than my last experience. My mind felt energized, and I experienced pretty strong visual hallucinations. My vision was very clear, and I saw a ton of different open and closed eye visuals. When I looked up at the ceiling of my room there was giant face staring down at me at one point. The closed eye visuals were extremely vivid as well.

I experienced pretty bad anxiety at the beginning, and as the peak hit I kept going through this cycle of experiencing fearful and anxious thoughts. I ended up slipping into this state of allowing and things kept dissolving. I felt like my awareness was locked onto the inner void / beingness.

Near the end of the peak I was in a very relaxed state of mind. I could hear this pulsing sound, and when I focused on it, time seemed to slow down. I kept processing negative emotions and thoughts until the trip ended.

Today I feel very calm, and in a way spiritually clean. I’ve heard a lot about how shrooms help people process anxiety and other negative junk in their mind, and I’m glad to have experienced it for myself. In the future I plan to take them again, and maybe work my way up to the heroic dose Terence McKenna speaks of

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80

I finished the first two books of the Seth material and they are incredible, but very information dense. I will have to go back and really process all the information. After reading them, I think they might be a more accurate worldview than the law of assumption. The practice of reality creation from his second book is very similar to the law, yet more detailed.

It’s definitely added a lot to my understanding the law that Neville and other teachers were not able to provide. I’m quite excited to test out its worldview.

81

After reading Seth Speaks and the Nature of Personal Reality I also read all of Joseph Murphy’s books and Rev Ike’s book, they were all excellent.

My progress in the law has been immense lately, I actually manifested a relationship 3 weeks ago. It’s been going well since.

I would say that things have clicked, I understand my true nature, how I am responsible for my experience, and how to change it. From now on I will continue to improve in every way.

After I finish what I am occupied with I will return to the occult and learn soul travel, evocation, and all the other stuff to satisfy my curiosity.

82

Looking back on this journal and its precursor it becomes apparent that my practice has become entirely different from what it was when I first started. I never thought that my perspective would evolve to this point yet I’m so very excited for the rest of my journey. Whatever I’m doing now definitely isn’t the magick I thought I would be doing 2 years ago, yet it is my own path, and I will follow it to the peak.

Two days ago I had a series of revelations that caused my understanding of and ability for releasing to increase significantly. I felt intuitively pulled to revisit David Hawkins’ book, and sort of combined it with my understanding of belief systems from chapter 11 of The Nature of Personal Reality. In essence, residing in awareness and allowing emotions to release and transmute leads to the removal of the limiting beliefs responsible for them.

The day after I experienced a bit of a life crisis. With releasing in mind I sat down and processed the emotions. Releasing the beliefs responsible caused the crisis to reverse in near real time. It was totally freaky. What’s even more freaky is how your more intense beliefs shape so much of your perception. It’s like my mindset towards an area of my life has completely changed.

One thing I’ve noticed is that when I start a releasing session and keep releasing it gains momentum. As I build momentum I notice that a sense of peace and awareness grows increasingly within me. In this state I am able to release larger chunks of emotions and beliefs.

83

It’s been forever since I updated here but I have made a significant amount of progress and had some new realizations.

I ended up learning the sedona method which greatly expedited my progress with releasing. Since then I’ve made a lot of progress in certain areas of my life. I also notice moments when I am more strongly identified with awareness / beingness. They are always quite interesting.