My life was already arranged before I was born

Hi,
When I have a thought I see somehing related to it in the material world. I know that many people get synchronicities, but at my case this is so much and radical.
Every time I open a book or refresh the lis of recommended videos, I get what is in my head.
Not what I want but what is my thought.
And I came across lot of facts that my life is planned before I was born.
I beleived from my childhood that this is a work of a spirit guide, but really I never get answers, but just my thoughts, which make feel lonely.
There are times when I just start to looks around a book and see that everything in it is like written for me or about me and datas are perefectly correlated with each other and with my life, and I just weep. And that also trigger other state of consciousness in me.

It is difficult to write down these crearly.

Can somebody tell me that even who can I be?
Because I’m fear from the reality very much now.
Angels/demons don’t come to me. With writing a letter, blood offering or pray for of hours. Despite my psychic senses aten’t the worst.

Welcome @StarsAreVibrate Please tell us about yourself.

Where are you from?

Do you have any practical experience in magick?

If so, what, exactly, do you practice, and how long have you been practicing?

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