One of my earliest memories is of a dream I had. In it, I was standing in some sort of desert accompanied by a man who I now recognize as my current adult self.
My 2-year-old me asked the man where we were and why I couldn’t see through other people’s eyes, meaning I was literally trying to see from the perspective of others, albeit unsuccessfully. My adult self explained that it was because I was in a place called (my hometown) on a planet called Earth.
Then, he produced a device that remains indescribable to me to this day with his hands and activated it, projecting a massive holographic map of the entire sphere. I remember feeling such an overwhelming fear at that revelation that I wet my diaper.
Why am I telling you this? Because it’s the beginning of the spectacle that my life has turned out to be.
Aside from the fact that my childhood was always surrounded by strange occurrences, it wasn’t until I was 10 that I encountered the term “Kundalini.” This was due to my parents being deeply involved in things like witchcraft, tarot, and all that New Age stuff, the violet flame, and the Chinese zodiac.
Having gone through this “initiation” into the world of the spiritual, it wasn’t until I was 14 that I had my real wake-up call.
After researching as much as I could about Kundalini, well, let’s just say it happened spontaneously. A tremendous surge of energy rose up my spine, a heat that I can only describe as suffocating enveloped me, yet I felt nothing but cool, strong, and revitalized. I didn’t sleep at all that night.
From there, my life spiraled downward. Everything I had, friends, family, a partner - I simply couldn’t hold onto anything or anyone I loved.
I know that what I’ve described might sound familiar to more than a few.
Of course, I cursed my luck, my life, everything. I was filled with hatred and resentment toward the world and towards God, and that’s when my hermit phase began, lasting for 7 tumultuous years.
During those seven years, I immersed myself in everything I could, from reading the Bible from beginning to end, to exploring apocryphal texts, reptilians, Annunaki, Buddha, Krishna, aliens, Lao Tzu, and even delving into demonology, curses, and pacts, all to realize one thing:
Nothing, absolutely nothing of that was real. But more importantly, it wasn’t just about whether something was true or not, it was about the fact that, on top of everything, it was all lies.
Or at least half-truths…
Five years ago, I had my second Kundalini experience. I woke up in the early hours, turned on a random YouTube mix on my laptop as background noise while I fully woke up. I was still lying on my pillow, looking up at the ceiling when a video caught my attention. It was a dedication a guy made to his recently deceased dog. In the animation, the dog passed away while his owner was away, and it depicted the dog in heaven. Suddenly, the dog saw his owner grieving over finding his lifeless body in the yard. Seeing his owner’s suffering, the dog decided to return one last time to say goodbye.
I felt sadness, love, and pain like I had never felt before. Perhaps it was because I wasn’t fully conscious yet, but I had never experienced such an intense rush of emotions. Thoughts raced through my head like, “So many people mistreat them, how dare they? I’ve done it myself, how can they be treated this way when they can’t defend themselves?” My sadness left and was replaced by an immense anger, felt my mind going blank, and then nothing.
I felt at ease, it was too peaceful , but I could still sense that my skin was radiating intense heat. To this day, I can’t find a better way to describe it than “cold rage.” It was as if I were floating in the middle of the ocean, I felt powerful but at the same time I stopped caring about everything.
Then I heard a voice in my head say: “I don’t allow it.”
Not only did that snap me back to reality, but I was literally thrown back onto my bed with force. As I did so, I felt like I was suffocating, tears were streaming uncontrollably from my eyes, and I remember gasping desperately for air while trying to stabilize my heart rate. My skin burned, and I felt as confused as I was terrified.
I don’t know how much time passed before I calmed down, but when I did, I realized that my laptop was off. It was fully charged, so there was no reason for it to have shut down on its own.
That helped me understand that a very strong emotion was more than enough to trigger the coiled serpent. However, it can’t be forced, so don’t waste your time trying because that only keeps you stuck and regressing.
To this day, I continue to research everything related to it, but if there’s one thing I can assure you, it’s that the only few truths you can trust about this are:
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everything is energy.
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mind gives life and shape.
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divinity is a lie.
The idea of God and divinity was created to make us believe we need a higher force to guide our destiny and to distance us from our true selves.
As long as you know that you don’t need any other God than the one inside you…
Nevertheless, this is my work and I’m still growing.
You are free to read or ignore, judge and take what serves you.
Good luck guys.
