So far in my pact with Belial he's been fucking me over but in subtle ways, the year that I have had with him has by far been the worst year that I have ever had. So far in my pact with him, I have been decieved again. I was put in a nightmare hospital, which as the name suggests, as long as I was there I was plagued every night with awful nightmares. These nightmares would go on all night, it lasted for a week straight, and there was a couple times that I would either wake up sobbing or jerk out of bed. It stopped after what I thought was just a dream of him checking me out with the doctor of said hospital writing down that I was "broken", and after that happened the nightmares abruptly stopped. I went from having what I remember 4-5 a night, back to back, with no intermissions to none. By day 3 or 4, I was legitimately terrified to sleep, so much so that I was honestly considering just...not sleeping. Or putting it off for a s long as possible, because fewer hours of sleep meant fewer nightmares. That was pretty awful, and I wished it stopped there but it really doesn't. Last night I found myself in a weird part of some masquerade party meets deadly hide and seek, I'm pretty sure there was demons there because on of the demon men that was there ended up doing some... nonconsensual things, and come to find out that my fiancee had seen the same man in her dreams, and I only found this out after she started telling me about it. We compared our dreams, and the odd lucidity to them and it was the same entitiy that she had seen. This probably sounds irrelevant, but the thing is, is that our home is warded in such a way that nothing can enter without being let in from the inside. And so far, with our collective experiences with Belial, he really enjoys letting things in. And this has been something that he continues to do, despite everything.
It’s all kinda come to a point to where I can’t lay on my stomach anymore, because I did last night and I physically felt something mount me; touch me; and move my panties to the side to try and have sex with me. All the while with me telling him to knock that shit off, I’m currently debating on whether demons actually have the ability to feel love. If that’s truly an emotion that can be registered, or if they’re just saying that they love you so that they can take from you.
And honestly the thing that I don't think I'll be able to get over is how naive I was in trusting him so completely, and the fact that so many awful things that have happened to me with his okay. So many things that I wish so deeply to forget, but can't and the realization that not only did he orchestrate the entire thing, but he watched. He watched everything that had happened and did nothing, things that happened inside and out of our pact. And as I'm saying this I'm positive that there will be people who will defend him, and I just want to say that just because he may act a certain way around you, doesn't mean that he's incapable of acting like a true and pretty sadistic monster. It just means that you have the luck of not being tormented by him.
And as of today, my fiancee and I pulled out the big banishing ritual and luckily we were able to get rid of him and everything that he let in. Granted that it was really only designed to keep him our for 7 days; (7 because of its holy significance). And right now, I’m just enjoying that for the first time in a long time I don’t have to be in a constant survival mode, I can finally breathe. I don’t know what’s going to happen after the 7 days, but I do know that no matter how much he may want to, until that time is up he cannot enter unless he takes a sick joy in being scorched by holy fire.