I will start to write my journey on my chakras.
I hope that It will be great help to someone who lacks of energy like me, who have lots of trauma, and magick beginner.
I am beginner too, so it will especially helpful to someone.
If you think this is abusing forum, then let me know. I will find another way.
I will upload once a day until I think It’s done.
I fixed a few things, I hope you don’t mind.
I would be interested in reading and participating in working, healing the Chakras with you, i can’t wait to see your progress, and insight you wish to contribute
I am not a native speaker, so please understand
Day 1.
First, I will briefly explain my emotional state.
I hardly ever love myself.
I’ve always struggled with low self-esteem, endless loneliness. There must be a lot of causes for this problem.
Childhood(mundane thing), childhood religion, family history, love affairs, etc. And the habit of going endlessly into my thoughts, etc.
It’s like a very big black hole in my heart.
This really causes a lot of trouble.
I couldn’t trust others easily, and break off relationships before they get deeper so as not to be hurt in all relationships. And insecurity (definitely, I learned how to suppress it with a second personality)…)
I may seem like a bright and passionate person in my daily life, but my inner self is not at all.
I’m tired of this.
anyway
I’ve been battling the greatest loneliness of my life these days.
I can’t go out because of COVID-19, the memory of my ex-girlfriend(she is happy now) and myself too shabby to contrast with ex-girlfriend.
So,I cast some love spells, but nothing happened.
I’ve practiced love spelling several times in the past, but this time, strangely enough, nothing happened. The more I cast a spell, the more I become obsessed with the target. I felt like a reverse-magick.
Besides, my magical powers are so shabby that there’s no way I can make sure they’re doing well.
I’d like to learn full evocation and do it, but in the middle of it, how will I practice enduring my loneliness? Moreover, the idea of mastering this vast art with a motive for love seemed pathetic.
So at one point I thought it was all just a matter of my heart chakra.
The idea that if I were healthy, I wouldn’t need someone to fill my feelings, and I wouldn’t need love magick.
Did you see the movie ‘ Perfume: The Story of a Murderer ’? Jean Gruenui makes ‘perfume’ to be loved. What he realized when he got his hands on it, he killed himself knowing that if he knew how to love him truly, he wouldn’t have had to kill so many beautiful people to make this perfume.
I thought my heart was the cause of all the problems, and it started from my heart.
I started from this link
I imagined i am surrounded by green-white prana light, and as I breathe, then my heart chakra shines bright.
Nothing happened but as I enchant, there was a very small pain in my chest(not heart)
I am not good at visualization, imagination, but
The real physical reaction has occured so I was amazed.
And again i am not good at meditation, so I stopped with bunch of thinkings and real world senses
But I could feel I am relaxed more, and need for someone is highly decreased
I wanted to keep this state, so I repeated while eating, working etc
I never mind, I am not native speaker so please understand
Thank you 
Your gonna wanta work on your solar plexus which is responsible for your inner child and also ur heart chakra , and if you can raise your energy in the present moment then you’ll start seeing the “past” in a better way ,
Day 2.
Strangely, I coudn’t feel pain while healing on my heart chakra. Feels like there’s no further progress.
So I felt energy was cut off from below.
I searched for other chakras. I didn’t want to be too bored, so I wanted to find something that seemed most relevant.
‘a solar plexus chakra’
I was very surprised here.
Anxiety, Low self esteem, jealousy, controlling behaviours, competition, lack of self esteem
Insecurity, Feeling trapped, lack of integrity, No sense of self, Inauthenticity, Inertia,’
THIS IS ME.
Here’s a self-diagnosis paper.
Aren’t you being dominated by doubts and fears?
Is it difficult to make a decision? When finally giving action guidelines, do you feel you lack the energy to decide?
Do you think you should be right in every debate?
Is there an emotional deficiency? Should one always be the center of attention?
Lack of willpower? Do you want to be rewarded by being a ‘man of your own free will’?
Allow other people’s thoughts to control my life? How can I stop this without becoming emotionally stubborn or overly belligerent?
Its quite me. Except few things LOL
So, i started working on my plexus chakra.
Started listen on plexus healing music on youtube.
As I doing method above, My stomach feels tense.
And there was real sound like the rattling of plastic bags
Some bubbles there it was really strange
And on youtube, someone said that ‘to check current state, stop use visualisation, but just feel the current real state of that chakra’
I followed, my plexus was brown. Empty brown space.
But with I heal my plexus chakra, It gets brighter
(I think its good way to check current state of your chakra to someone like me who have poor imagination, dont imagine, just feel it)
And I summoned Marbas(demon of healing) with E.A. koetting’s sigil activation method.
And asked him with imagination (talking with lots of beautiful people sincerely, happily without SEX Lol… There is joyful bird sounds, sunshine, bright emotions) that heal my plexus chakra so make me brighter, and confident person.
And now I feel some bright, shining sun is in my plexus. It really feel that way.
And with some endless very strange sounds from my stomach lol…
It’s healing itself without mantra or imagination
I am just writing this journal…
I don’t know how it’s going to go forward, but I’m satisfied with the progress at this moment
Its amazing. That’s where I worked today. I am happy to know this truth… all of it caused by lack of energy in my plexus chakra
Day 3.
I had a depression in the morning.
There was some social pressure, I couldn’t control my stress.
Even if I heal my chakras, my problems may not disappear immediately. It reacts automatically with certain type of energy.
But I will never give up.
Meditation at public transportation, I imagined my plexus chakra shining brightly. Feeling better, I did my next schedule.
Today I went down further and looked down at my sacral chakra.
I heard it is addiction-related chakra, but I just wanted to bring more bigger power to my heart and plexus, so I healed it.
Healing the sacral chakra, there was no particular physiological phenomenon.
I think because It is not that bigger problem with me.
But, inner pleasure arose. It’s hard to put in words.
Usually, I tried to enjoy myself, but actual enjoy was there.
I fell asleep watching BALG YouTube. What I learned was that full reaxation is key, difference between wanting & willpower.
I’ve noticed that I overlooked these two key points during perform magick, and meditation.
I relaxed and healed in bed in the morning and felt better.
I didn’t wish my chakra to shine. I shined the chakra with my will. (not wanting, willing)
Overall progress