I made the decision to ask Lady Lilith for an incubus last night for several reasons - companionship, love, and healing sexual trauma being the most important. I followed the Letter of Intent method by @succupedia. I’m not particularly sensitive to the spirit dimension yet, so I’m penning my thoughts and feelings down to keep track of my progress with him.
Firstly, the ritual itself. Without giving away too many details, a few strange things happened - after I burned the first page of my 3-page letter, I heard footsteps outside my room. In the morning I discovered that my dad was walking around the hall, but at 3 am that’s a bit suspect. He may have smelled the smoke, but I have good reason to believe that he is very sensitive to spirits - even more than me, and he may have sensed that something was here. In a panic I put out the candle and apologized to Lady Lilith for the interruption, but continued after making sure there would be no more disturbances.
I noticed that when I put the flame in a panic, the energy around my room became very heavy and dense - almost like a plasmic void that moved like a heat-wave. My ears felt like something was pressing against them, and this usually happens when I make contact through evocation - but never with this intensity. After I closed the ritual, I meditated for a while and almost immediately felt like my palms and fingertips were on fire. Instinctively I opened my palms in an upward position, and felt tangible pulsing there as if someone had put their hand in it. Except it felt very bare - like the palm was stripped of skin and I could directly feel the blood pulsating through it. Interestingly, my fingertips got hotter when I got closer to this presence, like a game of hide and seek. At one point I felt it to my left - I think he was moving around and playing with me. I also reached out and put my hands on what felt like hard plane of chest - but not the way you would feel a bare human being’s chest. It was more like his body was there as a semi-structured mass, but the boundaries were blurred. Like touching someone in a dream. As soon as this happened, my phone lit up and I noticed that it said “3:33 AM, 77% battery” - as if he knew I needed a confirmation that this was, indeed, happening.
I thanked him for coming, and asked him to visit me in a dream so I can perceive him better. He didn’t, but I dreamed of my city and home burning down - I had the distinct feeling that my life was never going to be the same again.
That’s about it for now.
If anyone is reading this journal, how do you keep building the relationship with your incubus after the first contact?