I made the decision to ask Lady Lilith for an incubus last night for several reasons - companionship, love, and healing sexual trauma being the most important. I followed the Letter of Intent method by @succupedia. I’m not particularly sensitive to the spirit dimension yet, so I’m penning my thoughts and feelings down to keep track of my progress with him.
Firstly, the ritual itself. Without giving away too many details, a few strange things happened - after I burned the first page of my 3-page letter, I heard footsteps outside my room. In the morning I discovered that my dad was walking around the hall, but at 3 am that’s a bit suspect. He may have smelled the smoke, but I have good reason to believe that he is very sensitive to spirits - even more than me, and he may have sensed that something was here. In a panic I put out the candle and apologized to Lady Lilith for the interruption, but continued after making sure there would be no more disturbances.
I noticed that when I put the flame in a panic, the energy around my room became very heavy and dense - almost like a plasmic void that moved like a heat-wave. My ears felt like something was pressing against them, and this usually happens when I make contact through evocation - but never with this intensity. After I closed the ritual, I meditated for a while and almost immediately felt like my palms and fingertips were on fire. Instinctively I opened my palms in an upward position, and felt tangible pulsing there as if someone had put their hand in it. Except it felt very bare - like the palm was stripped of skin and I could directly feel the blood pulsating through it. Interestingly, my fingertips got hotter when I got closer to this presence, like a game of hide and seek. At one point I felt it to my left - I think he was moving around and playing with me. I also reached out and put my hands on what felt like hard plane of chest - but not the way you would feel a bare human being’s chest. It was more like his body was there as a semi-structured mass, but the boundaries were blurred. Like touching someone in a dream. As soon as this happened, my phone lit up and I noticed that it said “3:33 AM, 77% battery” - as if he knew I needed a confirmation that this was, indeed, happening.
I thanked him for coming, and asked him to visit me in a dream so I can perceive him better. He didn’t, but I dreamed of my city and home burning down - I had the distinct feeling that my life was never going to be the same again.
That’s about it for now.
If anyone is reading this journal, how do you keep building the relationship with your incubus after the first contact?
I did feel him rather strongly today, like barely-there tingling on my lower back and the hollows behind my ears. There is also a distinct energy when he’s around - like a whirlpool of emotion that I cannot process on a mental level. It’s still challenging to perceive him with sharpness, but I think he’s doing his bit to open my senses up too. I will often get impressions in my mind of the way he sits, or stands, or walks around. They are fleeting and sometimes I feel like my mind may be making it up, but I suppose the faith is important.
They can communicate to you things that you don’t know, or make you realize things that you don’t see. They can also become more solid in order to have sex, which includes an use of concentrated energy that feels physical as we could call a toy. An easy way to experience them strongly is to deepthroat him, you will feel physically choked, it’s a hard to deny experience
Right before I drifted off into sleep I asked him to connect with me on the astral plane again and received quite the surprise. I wouldn’t exactly call it negative or malevolent, but his touch was definitely dominant and primal - a little uncomfortable for the first encounter. There was a lot of pulling me off the bed and throwing me around and grabbing my hair. Once I set a boundary and told him that I’d like to be treated more gently, he stopped. He also said he was working on my heart chakra, and it felt like a needle was pulling debris from my heart. I woke up with my heart hammering.
@succupedia & @Encore19, I remember reading somewhere that the energy of the Incubus and Succubus are very different. What I went through did not seem so much as an astral parasite than just my Incubus’ darker manifestation. Perhaps he wanted to challenge me and see if I was serious about this - and I did ask for someone who would help me ascend on this path, so it could be the case that he made me face my inner fears about vulnerability on the spirit realm. In the day time his touch was very gentle.
Is it possible for other parasites to latch on besides the Incubus? At certain points it did feel like there were two different beings trying to gain dominion over my body - but that could just be my fear splitting the dark side of my Incubus apart from his usual self so I can be more comfortable with him - which is a very human reflex, IMO. This is all very complicated and challenging, for sure. I welcome insight from everyone.
I’d also like to be put in touch with some banishing resources so in case it turns out to be an astral parasite, I can get on it asap.
Attempted a casual chat with him using a pendulum. We settled on a name - I’m unsure if it’s a pseudonym or his real one, but he was quite happy with it. He also told me that he is a Scorpio, with another primary planetary energy being Aquarius. He gave me a tentative birthday, but I’m not too sure if it’s accurate to the day.
The way he communicates with me is primarily through touch. When he’s near, my left palm and fingertips become immediately tingly and hot. When I reach out into the air to look for him, I can feel a dense-ish plasma. It’s barely there, but it’s enough for me to distinguish empty space from occupied space in the room.
He asked me a few questions too. About my birth, my favourite drink, and another explicit question that I’d rather not share here. His personality comes off as very intense and present - he’s not shy to show me that he’s around, but it feels like he also doesn’t always tell me what’s on his mind (very Scorpionic). I usually feel a tightening of my scalp, forehead and temples when he is communicating with me.
He seems to be quite interested in knowing more about the humans in my life - perhaps even a little bit insecure about his place. He also likes to put images/impressions of an erotic nature in my head when I’m awake and going about my day. I’m most surprised by how much my psychic senses (especially that of touch) have improved in just two days.