Max’s Crackhouse Expeditions

I’m using Kundalini Yoga – The Divine Life Society to progress, and I just did these exercises:

  1. Plug the left nostril with a small piece of cotton or fine cloth for a few minutes.

  2. Lie down on the left side for ten minutes.

  3. Sit erect. Draw the left knee up and keep the left heel near the left buttock. Now press the left arm-pit, Axilla , on the knee. In a few seconds the flow will be through Pingala.

  4. Keep the two heels together near the right buttock. The right knee will be over the left knee. Keep the left palm on the ground a foot away and let the weight of the trunk rest on the left hand. Do not bend at the elbow. Turn the head also towards the left side. This is an effective method. Catch hold of the left ankle with the right hand.

  5. The flow of breath can be changed by Nauli Kriya also. (What)

  6. There are some who are able to change the flow by will.

  7. Place the Yoga Danda or Hamsa Danda (a wooden stick of about 2 feet in length with a rest of the shape of U at one end) at the left arm-pit and lean on it by the left side. (Didn’t do)

  8. The most effective and instantaneous result is produced in changing the flow through Khechari Mudra. The Yogi turns the tongue inside and blocks the air passage by the tip of the tongue.
    (Didn’t do yet)

On the bright side, no more sinus congestion.

Khechari Mudra is actually painful :))

Actually, this entire guide might be crackpot as hell. It speaks in a manner that makes no real sense and has no direction. It even labels some chakras (all of them) as completely different colors than what they are.

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Hist just referred to me as a resourceful blind child. Literally blind

Absolutely awful idea: Go through all of Organization XIII from KH as a pathworking exercise.

Have fun with that idea.

“Purification is of two kinds: Antar-Dhauti (internal cleaning) and Bahir-Dhauti (external cleaning). Antar-Dhauti can be made in three ways. Take a fine piece of muslin cloth, 3 inches wide and 15 feet long. The borders should be stitched well and no pieces of loose thread should be hanging from its sides. Wash it with soap before use and make it clean. Dip it in tepid water. Squeeze out the water and swallow one end of it little by little. On the first day swallow only one foot. Keep it there for a few seconds and then take it out very slowly. On the next day swallow a little more and keep it for a few minutes and then take it out slowly. Thus little by little you can swallow the whole length, retain it for about 5 minutes and then take it out. Do not be hasty. Do not injure your throat by rough handling. When the Kriya is over drink a cup of milk. This is a sort of lubrication for the throat. This exercise should be done when your stomach is empty. Morning time is good.”

You can’t convince me this guy isn’t on something heavier than I am.

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How do I start my kundalini ascent?

“Well first ya need a skinny ass long cloth and ya need ta suck tha watah outta it. For days.”

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“And it’s gotta have soap in it”

What… does this even do?

“l u b r i c a t e”

For what?

“Exactly, kid.”

And I quote “There are some people who can drink plenty of water and pass it through the anus immediately.”

Well shit, instant cleansing, where do I sign up?

“Drink a large quantity of water and shake the abdominal portions. Contract the stomach and vomit the water.”

@DarkestKnight
You’re smart, you know about Kundalini. Am I being unreasonable here?

I found a small exercise on http://www.thelawofattraction.com/awaken-kundalini/

“Accessing the central channel”

  1. First, make sure you’re sitting comfortably, and breathe deeply while you count to ten.
  2. Next, focus on your tailbone area, until you can sense a gentle vibration. At this point, close your eyes and repeatedly chant the word “Vum”.
  3. As you chant, notice the sensation of vibration gradually working their way up your spine. Imagine yourself floating, light and free, radiating kindness to all you encounter.
  4. Change your chant, repeating the word “Shum” over and over as you feel the vibrations spread throughout your limbs and fill your whole body.
  5. Finally, picture a large balloon sitting in your pelvic and abdominal area, filling the space there.
  6. Gradually let the air out of that balloon, as though you’re holding it by the neck and gently realizing everything inside.

At least I feel something. An intensity.

This video has nice music and seems informative, but at 3:36 he says some strange stuff about… sigh.

“When the mind reaches that plane (vishuddha) one does not enjoy talking or hearing about things other than god (ultimate reality). If people talk about worldly things, he leaves this place at once.”

This sounds not only dogmatic, but also like blatant misinformation.


THIS

“Kundalini energy can’t actually be asleep. If kundalini is asleep, you are dead.”
“You are kundalini, you are life force.”

This is my preferred poison for kundalini stuff because it simplifies everything and slaps away misconceptions. No bullshit. I love this video.

AND NOW. I WILL PERFORM THE MAGIC TRICK

How t ob o l st er li fe

Personal notes.

  1. Eris of Discordia
  2. Make a bird god path
  3. Get to work

Fun fact: Running around Hueco Mundo eating hollows is not only a viable method of gathering energy, but also a viable method of ascension.

#AizenDidNothingWrong

Hist led me to this when I asked for more resources on the draconic path. Using the search term, “One time we broke reality”.

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Going to do some heavy clairaudience training.

Just realized that it’s my journal and I can do whatever I want, so I’m going to rant about how cute toucans are.

Exhibit A: Image result for cute toucan
LOOK AT THESE BABIES. THEY ARE SO CUTE AND THEY LOVE EACH OTHER.

Image result for cute toucan

SO PRECIOUS.

Is this not enough evidence for you? Would you like to see a toucan in action?

If this does not warm your heart, not only are you lying, you’re a monster

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